Day 362- Pushing and resistance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not face resistance and stand even when something seems uncomfortable or challanging.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to commit to something if it seems difficult or challanging.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care that deep down actually living and real development beyond games and entertainment seems more gratifying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than moving and being happy and proud to live the dicipline and structure to really develop myself and assert who I am and will become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand and commit to who I want to be and become by simply structurinr what must be done and facing and willing myself through the resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complicate my life and process with shortcuts and illusions instead of simply moving through the resistance and creating who I am and what I express within that movement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone trying to avoid the inevitable instead of standing and facing the pain I inflict onto myself through my mind and living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the resistance of others showing me parts of myself to be moving through and facing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that my life doesn't get too difficult.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel excited to see where I can simply forgive and change to face resistance and actually move myself physically and practically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than having the grit and strength and will to do what I must do in comparison to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel frustrated with myself for not giving that little push each day which may have made a big difference in who I have built myself up to become over time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to face the resistance of changing the Dynamics of interaction with others where there isn't always a positpos happy relationship but being shown what is wrong and needing correction through myself and everyone I interact with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize there is more pleasure to be found in avtactua moving and facing myself than to run and hide.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse and not face the resistance when the call had come to me to stand and fight to forgive and keep going and never give up.

Resistance

Re set stance

I redefine resistance as showing me where I am not standing and have failed to stand.

I redefine resistance as a force preventing another force from coming through completely.

I redefine resistance as a force showing me to myself where correction is needed.

I commit myself to everyday keep pushing and facing the restsiance within myself to change and correction.

I commit myself to never let go of the fire within me which can see and comprehend my potential to actually change and move myself physically to action.

Day 361- Building

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and consider that who I am is built up every moment and every breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care that I am building my personality every moment in every thought and action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care that I'm building my behaviour in every moment in everything I do each day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed to have negelcyrd to care that I've been building my life directly dismissing my oppritunity and giving into suppression and inferiority as who I am and allowed myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate looking at my life as who and where I am and seeing that besides the external things I cannot directly control everything I am is what I have built upon every day without any care or drive to assert a better standard of life for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for building a life that I would prefer to be better instead of taking action now and forgiving and changing moving forward

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame and hate myself furthering the issue in during so and further Building up myself in blocks of self judgement and self defentions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to build myskdm and my life up should it challange my own self interest in my mind as pleasure and energy and gifts without work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build mysekm up in excitement as energy without any follow up building excitement as an exspected on that everything will come to me without any effort on my own part.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to build myself up and structure my life once hitting enough dead end and conflict to accept there being no choice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never take a stand to have built up my life with integrity grit and honor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only move myself to build a better life for myself and others in any way once reaching an apex climax of abuse and misuse of everything granted to me many times over repeatedly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build myself up in grief and guilt as if I should 'feel bad'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to let anyone in to support and reflect any kind of guidance rather building myself up in my bubble and my ideas safe for a short amount of time before the bubble pops.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consistently and effectively utilize my self forgiveness as a to of support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed having no idea where or how I'd even like to begin to build myself up and even begin to change or correct any part of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame energy for not building me up correctly instead of seeing how my creation and psrticopartic and allowing of enegy to be me and represent me was all my responsibility completely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to destroy all the seeds I had once began to have planted in a state of competition competing my self and what I am building with everyone else and so giving up to build my own destruction which no one else could compete with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bill the physical as making the physical and other being pay for what I desire to build in my mind justified.

Build

I redefine build as to create something of structure or substance piece by piece collected and assembled over time.

I commit myself to build myself up deliberately in each moment.

I commit myself to not let anything be built of myself and my allowance which I do not accept as tolerable or acceptable.

I commit myself to build together accepting what I build as equal to what others build as themselves.

I commit myself to build something of myself with real integrity and foundation that will always stand.

I commit myself to realize there is no giving up just building strictures within oneself worth less than what I realize could have been built.

Day 360 - Strength

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait until I'm in the worst negative mind experience before accepting that I need real strength to move myself and take action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failing to not try to take action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stepping into living strength and immidetely falling for the pitfalls and traps I can create.

I forgive myself that  I have accepted and allowed myself to force myself to learn strength through depravity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire strength as a feeling of energy to come and sweep me off my feet and make everything better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear falling in face of chaos where I might have a chance to be strong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I won't reach the finish line I've imagined to exsist in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not worth having a chance to become strong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate the strength in structure and discipline.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear possibly in my minds eye having potentially one chance right here to decide what I want to do as strength moving forward and hold onto that expression until the end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to despise letting myself find strength in others outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be selfish withholding all strength I could ever possibly find outside of myself waiting for the strengths within me to suddenly magically be and become as if ordained or deserved without question like magic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I may not find the strength in this lifetime to clean out the mess I've accepted and allowed of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live the strength to try against all odds my mind I've allowed to believe exist against me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear never finding the strength to face the cross over at death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing what I'm living for in each moment to have any strength for any reason.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exspect myself to push as hard as I can physically in each moment to be the only strength possible.

Strength - I redefine strength as to move forward pursuing the potential I see as bests for myself and all as life even in the face of impossible odds accepting the possibility that the odds that I believe in my mind could always be misconstrued.

I redefine strength as being able to stand up to what must be done.

I redefine strength as moving to act on something good worth value even when difficult

I redefine strength as to stand down and be easy and at ease when needing to balance myself out.

I commit myself to command myself as strength to come back to writing and speaking self forgiveness for the support and great guidance of self honesty that I need.