Thursday, August 4, 2016
Day 193- Turning Anxiety Into Relaxation
Being relaxed can help everyone in all ways.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be rigid and pensive when I could be relaxed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to settle for being nervous and tense when I could be relaxed which is from what I see ultimately better.
Being pensive and alert might be better in a life or death situation, but maybe not even that, I think for me a lot of pensive and rigidness comes from anxiety, so in forgiving my anxiety I could then change myself to be relaxed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify being anxious when it does not serve me in any way and being relaxed is ultimately better.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my life harder by creating anxiety.
Why did I create anxiety?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create anxiety within my own existence and my own body and then blame it on external forces.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify anxiety when it's clearly a bad thing, when compared to instead being relaxed which is ultimately better from where I'm seeing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be illogical in being anxious instead of doing what's better as being relaxed or anything else even.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self honest about anxiety where I blame it on external forces when external forces did not come into my body and create emotions of stress and anxiety in my body I created them in my own body through my own programming.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to design myself in a way where I automatically create negative emotions and positive feelings based on external stimuli.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to design myself in a way where I choose anxiety over relaxation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize relaxation is even an option in each moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not even give myself the choice to be relaxed but instead only give myself to choice to be anxious all the time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make standing and supporting what's best for life my purpose as a being when I blatantly choose to be anxious and have anxiety instead of just being relaxed and enjoying myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose anxiety over what is objectively better as being relaxed and enjoying myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my life difficult at all times by creating anxiety when I could instead make my life easier at all times by creating relaxation and enjoyment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my living more difficult by creating anxiety when I could make my living easier by creating relaxation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize myself as the creator of both anxiety and relaxation thusly having the choice of when and how to implement these things.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let anxiety and relaxation be decided by external stimuli where things in the current world will always be stressful and difficult for everyone all the time so I'll always be anxious if I leave it up to the world around me to decide.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize myself as being able to create relaxation for myself in each moment where I don't have to base it on my external surroundings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught up in the experience of anxiety and defining myself by that, where once again I'll always get caught up in anxiety if I leave it up to the world around me to define me, so I need to just forgive my anxiety and reassert myself as what I realize is a better way of living for all of life to pick relaxation over anxiety.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be an illogical bizarre being which makes things more difficult for myself out of spite as creating anxiety over relaxation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I'm here I am creating myself even though it's mostly currently through programs over time as memory, I still realize I'm here creating myself so I should be relaxing and making things easier for myself.
I commit myself to take my existence into the expression of relaxation all the time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suspend my being within a bubble of anxiety.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not hold myself and direct myself within a bubble of relaxation at all times.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be directed by anxiety in each moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not direct myself within living the word relaxation in each moment where I can from there direct and move my life into whatever it is that I need to form myself into.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that the way I am is the way that I'm meant to be as anxious and pensive.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe anxiety is how I'm meant to navigate my world because I can't change it from within my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I can't change anxiety from within my mind because I've not forgiven and corrected why I create anxiety in the first place.
I commit myself to direct myself in each breathe as relaxation.
I commit myself to take on relaxation as my mode of transportation through my world.
I commit myself to direct myself with relaxation so I can support myself to make it through difficult times and physical labor and responsibilities so that I can put myself in a position to better focus and put effort into my writing of self forgiveness and expansion of who I can be within my world.
When and as I see myself directing myself indirectly through anxiety, I stop, I breathe, I realize I've been greatly deceiving myself in choosing to ruin my life when I could make my life great for myself and other's by becoming the person I'd like to become by choosing what's best for myself as relaxation instead of anxiety, thusly, I commit myself to in each breathe choose relaxation over anxiety always as I realize there's never a reason to pick anxiety over relaxation for the most part.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pick anxiety over relaxation because it really doesn't matter either way.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it doesn't matter if I'm anxious or not because I'm living a nihilistic belief personality where ultimately nothing matters.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ultimately nothing matters as I realize this is just a belief, a thought, something that didn't exist until I created it within my mind as thinking.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into anxiety because nothing matters because certain things have been difficult for me in my life so I just decide that nothing matters to compensate for my loss of things going my way in life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that nothing matters and become a nihilist when instead I could stop believing in one thing or another and just discover the reality of how things operate and are created and how to navigate a big and dangerous world yet remain afloat within myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my direction within myself up to god as nihilism as nothing mattering so who cares if I'm relaxed or anxious as I realize I'm deceiving myself and not being self honest.
When and as I see myself not directing myself as relaxation because 'what does it matter if I'm relaxed or anxious', I stop, I breathe, I realize I'm deceiving myself and am suffering because of my own deception, thusly, I commit myself to take back my self responsibility for my self direction as realizing me supporting life does matter as I direct myself as relaxation in each breathe as my means of moving myself within my world for the time being or until further notice or change or improvement or forgiveness.
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