Day 240-乁໒( ͡◕ ᴥ ◕͡ )७ㄏ (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) ლ(ಥ Д ಥ )ლ

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking on direct self improvements within my life and actual direct interaction with the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear forcing mys
elf to take on more physical real world interactions and responsibility when I haven't settled into the ones that I already have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to force more responsibility into Myself in the real world interactions and living when I cannot even handle the responsibility that i already have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to force myself into action by giving myself more responsibility then I can hand and forcing me to make a choice to either succeed or to fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to force more responsibility then I can handle in my life because i fear becoming complacent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to the past where I might have chosen complacency any time it was an option.

When and as I see myself forcing responsibility into Myself when I haven't proven I can handle the responsibility I have, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I'm not really living and changing for myself when I'm forced to do so, thusly, I commit myself to prove that i can handle the responsibility that i do have before taking on as much as I can all at once.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the moments when I'm handling all of my responsibilities excellent and assuming from just one day or couple of days that I have mastered my domain of responsibility.

I forgive mysekf that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush to see myself as able to handle my work and school and real world responsibility because of pride.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold proving to myself that I can live in the real world and handle responsibility instead of proving through living and changing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself a chance to work my way through all the different elements of my real world life and responsabilites to know that I've perfected them in all ways and not just a handful.

When and as I see myself satisfied with how I've managed to take on so much in my life in terms of real world work and responsabilites and interacting, I stop, i breathe, I realize I don't want to settle for a feeling of self satisfaction, I want to perfect all elements of my real world life, thusly, i commit myself to perfect my real world life even though that means it's not going to be about self satisfaction and pride and ego, it will be about seeing things through to the finish.

My real world life I'm taking on a lot and stabilizing within what I've take on, but there's nothing to feel for, because I have to keep going.

The same with my internal world, I realize and explore and wrote out and change my internal world, and if I feel good or bad about it, it doesn't Change the investigation, and the self forgiveness and correction that has to be lived.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not tone down all of the constant activity within me that I don't need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to run so many programs within myself all at once when I don't need any of it, and I don't want it, it's just all I know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not know anything beyond my bubble of internal activity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not tone down everything moving within me one part at a time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to stop everything moving within me all at once instead of toning things down day by day.

I have been doing that, day by day, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so obsessed looking for ky end goal that I can not even recognize all the day to day moment to moment leaps and bounds that I make.

When and as I see myself only focusing on my end goal, I stop, I breathe, I realize the little movements in each day and each breathe and the little mistakes and improvement are what build me up over time, thusly, I commit myself to participate directly with the little moments and the little things I would assume to over look so I can place myself in a position to actually change and step myself into each breathe and each little moment completely.