Day 242- Having Clarity

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I don't know what to write self forgiveness for.

I have a lot moving within me but it's hard to pin it down and put it into words.

I have two things that come to mind that I would like to improve.

Feeling tired, and having a better grip on things.

I struggle to think of anything else I'd write out right now because it's hard to pin things down...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not become a better person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not becoming a better person in all ways because 'I am who I am'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to the idea of who I am as being all I can ever be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I can be a better person in each breathe by focusing on the physical instead of getting caught up in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not strive to become better and more effective in everything I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how I've been able to grow as a person and have a better grip on things and my life all the time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear committing my self to self perfection as becoming a better person in all ways all the time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the responsibility that comes with becoming a better person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming a better person means I will have to hold myself more accountable for everything.

I forgive myself that o have accepted and allowed myself to not want to be held accountable for anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not hold myself accountable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself a better grip on my life by becoming accountable for myself so that I can trust myself to act and to do everything I need to do giving me a better grip on everything in my life.

When and as I see myself not having a grasp on my life, I stop, I breathe, I realize I need to hold myself accountable for everything in my life so that i'm not in a position to make half measures or avoid responsibility, thusly, I commit myself to live the word accountable as being able to account for everything in my life at any moment, where nothing is ever lost, thusly, I respond accountable as being able to take on all the information and responsibilities regarding a specific thing.

That's to help me get a grip on things.

Then next is that I'm tired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be tired of being tired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire total control over my tiredness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I will never be able to shake how tired I am all the time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself where I've been able to support myself to hey out of worse situations like not liking work or having a hard time at work, and being able to change that around for me by constantly applying myself in self forgiveness and correction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to put the same work and effort into improving my sleep and energy relationship because I think in entitled to sleep well, because I'd like to sleep well and my body would like it, so why don't I do it?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get in the way of myself from having a good relationship to sleep and energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get in the way of myself from sleeping well and having a good direction over sleep and energy with all of my mental and conscience energy getting in the way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how the same way my mind is programmed and cannot budge but only chance slowly over time is the same way that sleep and energy is.

Where over time I have improved my relationship to sleep and energy.

They are my two biggest points I can think of but that doesn't mean they need to be totally resolved right now.

When and as I see myself fearing I never be able to improve my relationship to sleep and energy, I stop, I breathe, I realize I've already seen enough to know that I can change my relationship to sleep and energy to become what I'd like to live and express as those words within my living over time, thusly, I commit myself to let things run their course as I realize all I have to do is keep applying myself, thusly, I commit myself to live and breathe the words flow in relationship to sleep and energy where i let things come together and flow instead of trying to force everything into place all at once.