Friday, October 7, 2016
Day 226- redefine completion
Investigate desteni.org
Completion
I find myself writing about points and speaking self forgiveness until a point is resolved in that it is reduced enough that it is out of my mind, for a little.
Or when I'm down to smoking just a few cigarettes a week, but don't give myself that push to completely quit.
It becomes like I loose track, I have all these things I've been working on and picking at, but I haven't seen anything through to completion.
I'll do a great job developing a new diet or exercise routine. A new ways to manage my time, but then not commit to actually totally establishing it, letting it go on for another time.
Like I have all these things I'm working on, all at once, and I can't see any of it through to a satisfying degree of completion.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to work on many things at once to the point that I feel like it's impossible to see any one thing to completion because I'm balancing all these other things all at the same time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept that if I'm going to hold myself to taking on all these things I must hold myself to seeing them to completion, or calling some of it off.
I forgive myself that o have accepted and allowed myself to be too stubborn to admit defeat in calling something off, yet too stubborn to see any of it through to completion.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be stubborn in my relationship to completion.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand where if I'm going to do something I'm going to see it through where if I take on even more on top of it, then im going to see that through as well, instead of being like this experience of i have too much I'm trying to balance and it's wearing me down when I made the choice to take on everything that I've decided to take on in my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create consequences where I'm arrogant in stating I can handle all of this, I can do it all, all at once, in one go.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let things build up where I say ill deal with this another time instead of this moment where I have to time to do so.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fickle where I'll go into a relationship and see where I can go and become with this person only to jump ship and move onto another relationship never really seeing my relationships through to completion.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create all there habits and rehabilitates and goals throughout my day and let them all fall apart where I take on too much to see one thing through to completion.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too pride to admit when I need to loosen one area of my life to focus on another.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself when I take on a goal or task but do not see it through to completion.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an all or nothing personality where this is what I'm doing and I'm seeing it through all the way or else I'm not doing it at all.
Complete compete
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to complete everything all at once when I'm acting out of competition as pride, as I'm the best I can do it all, when I really can't do it all, all at once.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be completely honest with myself where I make exceptions and backdoor that build up into consequences.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel frustrated when I can simply look within myself and my nature of not seeing things to completion is totally obvious all the time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a wanderer, going from place to place, person to person, idea to idea, never really getting to the meat of anything.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wander looking everywhere but not sticking anything out where I'm waiting to find that special thing that really click with me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be complacent waiting around not making my move, just wait for something to happen instead of willing myself and what I do to the point of completion.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overwhelm myself where I'm caught between either doing it all or doing none of it.
When and as I see myself frustrated that I can't do it all, all at once, I stop, I breathe, I realize I need to be more practical where sometimes i might need to let go of one thing for a while so I can see another thing through to completion, thus, I commit myself to slow down when I refuse anything but taking on everything all at once, and instead look and ask myself if it is better to let loose on one tbing in my life so I can see another things through to actually completion.
I redefine completion as sometimes being better then taking on many things but not seeing them all through to and end point.
I redefine completion as to see something through to an end point.
Where sometimes if I do want to take on many things at once, at the very least I can redefine the end point, where if I want to do 10 things instead of just one thing, then maybe I have to define completion as 10 percent for each thing, where I'd I just did one thing I'd see it through to 100 percent.
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