Friday, December 30, 2016
Day 290- sleep addiction
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Sleep is something that diffinetely contributes to my problems.
Because I can write things out, if I have time, but then when I sleep in i don't have time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I sleep in when I make the decesion to sleep in and during that decesion I think sleeping in will be good.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that sleeping in will be good when once I'm up I realize if I had more time to write things out that I would be better off then I were sleeping in.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry where I made my decesion and have to live with the consequences.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define moving muslef into action as getting up and facing the day as too much where I wake up facing all my problems and just want to sleep them off.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I can't just sleep off my problems and need to move myself to get up and actually adress my problems in writing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my problems as too much to face in writing where they're very easy to face in writing and impossible to actually face in sleep, where sleep can give me energy but not suffice as me actually moving myself to write.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I have enough on my plate in commitments and things I'm working towards that I then also have to deal with sleep.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define it as unfair that I have to deal with sleep as another loose end where I do want to adress sleep and get more work done by not being addicted to sleep.
I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define mysked as not being ready to adress sleep in a real way where I stick to the same sleep time every day where that seems misrable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my body as needing more sleep then what I see I can actually work with in the best most productive way.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let whatever happen when I go to bed where I will not sleep in if I wake up feeling well, but if I don't wake up feeling well then I will sleep in.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to will myself to not sleep in where I can't in self honestly just stop a long term addiction to sleep but will need to regularly take real initove and action to sort out the problem.
When and as I see myself angry that I have a problem that I can't just resolve immidetely and Hahn to pick apart all the different elements, I stop, I breathe, I realize I have been preoccupied that I haven't addressed sleep, and that I see the possibility to change and that I have gotten to the point where I can work on changing shows I'm ready and they I just need to keep trying to work on it, thus, I commit myself to every night before I go to bed to adress my plans for sleep that night and make sure I follow through on the mourning, where if I don't follow through I can see why I didn't follow through and then just take a month or two for me to keep working on it every night.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to give into the fullfilling feeling of sleep where all my problems will be momentarly dealt with.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resolve my problems in sleep instead of actually adressing them in a way that deals with them for real.
I commit myself to try to stick to my sleep schedule and get up when I'm supposed to where if I'm really tired or needing sleep I can just take a nap instead of sleeping.
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