Day 312- 'just get it out'

Investigate desteni.org

Parasite

I can see my parasite constantly

The demon, the movement the energy

the mind

I can see it

I can always see it

Feel it

Experience it

I want to get angry and yell, just get it out!

Make it stop!

Please make it stop.

'Please help me'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have infected myself with a virus.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace that I have infected myself with a sickness as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to seeing what I've created in every breathe where I can see my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate being able to see my mind and do nothing that I can stop it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire for it to just be gone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self responsability where I'm not trying to escape I'm trying to correct.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to escape my conscienceness isntead of correct it change who I am and what I'm living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become hysterical where I can see it, I can see it and can do nothing to stop it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fantasise short cuts to just get to the end just get it out of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel victimized by what I've created as my mind where I did this, I can't see the whole picture but I created my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for relishing in the little moments of self movement of realization of action where, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to just be in solitude until I can shake off my virus.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed to be seen for what I've created as myself as my consciences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to despise having to constantly see all this movement within me and having no way to ground myself and exist and move myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disempowerd having to watch my mind constantly playing out in thoughts and movement and reaction where I can't stop it all where I have tried to just stop it all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate admitting that this suffering is what I've done to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for causing suffering within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to psycologically torment myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have caged myself into this system I have created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to yearn for freedom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the ego as a road block from me directly getting to the point of what I've created within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create fear to hide me from realizing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be deceived by my own personalities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be cleansed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let no knowing how I became as an excuse to not accept who I am and take responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide away as much as possible as close to just being dead as possible without having to die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play into my own ego when I need to get to the point and need to be able to be unconditional and just figure out how all of this happened.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone and direct with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone if something of substance comes up where I would then look to someone else when I need to find myself without images.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the images are too strong for me to release.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself more within self forgiveness as seeing how much I can trust myself to just forgive and let that forgiveness stand on it's own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to escape through death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself with ideas.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself with other's.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself with my own body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself with power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to opress myself to create power within myself.

When and as I see myself at wit's end about what to write out where to begin what direction to take, I stop, I breathe, I realize as I see here, I can just release it, forgive, correct, move on, thus, I commit myself to trust myself to take whatever approach I need to within my self forgiveness to actually get myself moving into action as speaking or speaking and writing self forgiveness.