Day 325- agenda behind humor

Investigate Desteni.org

A joke.

It usually goes that you don't expect the punchline, or the kicker.

You don't expect the joke because joking is not direct.

So for me, humor becomes a way to not have to directly deal with things, to deal with things in what appears positive but it really a sideways approach to something I'd rather not or don't have the energy to actually deal with.

I'll use humor to gain footing in a relationship, humor to shrug off serious issues and events.

Humor to slight others without coming right out and saying it.

I went over this generally the other day talking about trying not to play around at work as much which had been fine but in that I zoned in on how I use humor in slowing down going all in and taking things too far when I mess around at work I see how I try to be a clown try to make a good positive fun image for myself regardless of what state I'm really in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use humor to try to get on people's good side.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the sounding of humor and tumor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what tumor am I letting grow when I supress with humor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall back on humor any time I can without even thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use humor to gain footing in relationships with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to make people like me by being funny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I'm hiding something in humor where it's not hidden I can see my agena I'm just lying to other's and a part of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I have nothing to offer my relationships without humor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear humor being the only way people will like me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use humor to give myself an ego boost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use humor to supress my problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use humor to supress my insecurity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define humor as who I am where it's become automatic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define humor as a solution when it's something I use a supressing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use humor to form relationships to then value myself as being liked and having friends.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see a corrupt starting point creates corrupt relationships.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that no matter how I form friendship if my starting point is to value myself I'm already devaluing myself within the relationship.

When and as I see myself using humor and jokes with people, I stop, I breathe, I realize there's nothing right or wrong about humor but when the starting point is an agenda to get on someone's good side or to make soemone like me I need to question where I've devalued myself, thus, I commit myself to bring awareness to my humor so I can make sure my humor is being lived and refined in a supportive way not just to be used to manipulate and supress inferiority.