Day 361- Building

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and consider that who I am is built up every moment and every breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care that I am building my personality every moment in every thought and action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care that I'm building my behaviour in every moment in everything I do each day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed to have negelcyrd to care that I've been building my life directly dismissing my oppritunity and giving into suppression and inferiority as who I am and allowed myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate looking at my life as who and where I am and seeing that besides the external things I cannot directly control everything I am is what I have built upon every day without any care or drive to assert a better standard of life for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for building a life that I would prefer to be better instead of taking action now and forgiving and changing moving forward

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame and hate myself furthering the issue in during so and further Building up myself in blocks of self judgement and self defentions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to build myskdm and my life up should it challange my own self interest in my mind as pleasure and energy and gifts without work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build mysekm up in excitement as energy without any follow up building excitement as an exspected on that everything will come to me without any effort on my own part.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to build myself up and structure my life once hitting enough dead end and conflict to accept there being no choice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never take a stand to have built up my life with integrity grit and honor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only move myself to build a better life for myself and others in any way once reaching an apex climax of abuse and misuse of everything granted to me many times over repeatedly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build myself up in grief and guilt as if I should 'feel bad'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to let anyone in to support and reflect any kind of guidance rather building myself up in my bubble and my ideas safe for a short amount of time before the bubble pops.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consistently and effectively utilize my self forgiveness as a to of support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed having no idea where or how I'd even like to begin to build myself up and even begin to change or correct any part of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame energy for not building me up correctly instead of seeing how my creation and psrticopartic and allowing of enegy to be me and represent me was all my responsibility completely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to destroy all the seeds I had once began to have planted in a state of competition competing my self and what I am building with everyone else and so giving up to build my own destruction which no one else could compete with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bill the physical as making the physical and other being pay for what I desire to build in my mind justified.

Build

I redefine build as to create something of structure or substance piece by piece collected and assembled over time.

I commit myself to build myself up deliberately in each moment.

I commit myself to not let anything be built of myself and my allowance which I do not accept as tolerable or acceptable.

I commit myself to build together accepting what I build as equal to what others build as themselves.

I commit myself to build something of myself with real integrity and foundation that will always stand.

I commit myself to realize there is no giving up just building strictures within oneself worth less than what I realize could have been built.