Day 412 - Happy as deception

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drive myself to pursue happiness as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus only on my own happiness as energy not considering the consequences of being satisfied and fulfilled only from a point of energy with no consideration for any other factors included in my happiness. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make enough money for myself to just be happy and happy in my survival and happy I can generate enough money to satisfy my mind alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within my living definition of being happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word happy as being weakness as i have lived and defined it and reacted to it and suppressed it as such.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unhappy with my life when I actually take all points into consideration and see who I am and where I really am in the system in considering all points beyond my fantasy imagination of 'my life'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract from reality with my relationship to happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to reform and suppress and bury who I am and who I have been as happiness to not actually open up the point and rewrite it and see what really is happiness in this world who do I really have to be to live happiness as facing my life and reality in totality and not just taking on fragments that I prefer to face and isolating myself form the whole of the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to vie up on fang my process in all that is is and represent in reality due to how much it conflict with my program of my happiness and my satisfaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not define what it is to live a happy life considering the suffering on earth occurring and who I am as that suffering in denying the suffering and causing further suffering and so creating unhappiness in my living of happiness making a happy life non existent and impossible to actualize.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word happy to deny and obfuscate what is real and here and obvious.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be happy with falling below the standard I realize needed to walk process in it's entirety in this life until my ultimate point of happiness as money is totally and completely challenged. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to give up my life to ensure a happy life is possible and able to be realized by all by changing the substance of trade and transfer as money into an equal money system as a money system all can be happy with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the point of creating a happy system for all meaning how far I must go in my life to totally and completely challenge myself and others in each moment in every day in every activity as happiness cannot be realized and lived from any half measure. 

When and as I see myself unhappy with who I am and what I have in my life, I stop, I breathe, I realize that to live happiness is to give and create happiness for all, and so to be happy and live the word for real means no half measures to give as much as possible in each day to change my life and support others as equals to do the same in every breath in every action and in every word, thus, I commit myself to stop limiting myself to happiness as energy as deception waiting to be happy with my life before I move myself apposed to the real living of happiness as to move myself first without any expectation of return in my interest. 

I commit myself to make a happy system for all which all can agree on by starting with myself as radically giving as I 'd like to receive every single day and in every breath and in every word and in every action to give happiness and push myself as far as possible in doing so to prevent any half measures from ever being possible to give any less than my absolute best.