Day 26- Cigarette's

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to smoke without self honesty.

Where there is advice from others, advice from doctors and researchers, and advice from addicts.

Yet, I say 'I'll listen to just one, to myself'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to smoke cigarettes based only on my self satisfaction as the feeling, and the experience of smoking.

I put this point behind me for a long time because I turned it into a very black and white, right or wrong polarity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to turn smoking into a right or wrong polarity, making it harder for me to face the simplest point of opening it up in self honesty and self forgiveness, no a definitive judgement or decision just a step towards myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear opening up smoking in self honesty and self forgiveness because I fear 'quitting'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear opening up this point because I fear I might realize it would be better for me to not smoke, and then I would have no choice but to quit.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that self forgiveness is a definitive action, where if I realize something is best within writing than I will be acting out abuse by doing the opposite of what I realize is best.

I realize it is what I give to myself, a lead a horse to water situation, where if I were to realize something was best, I would be under no obligation to do that which is best unless I commitment myself to it, and in which case my commitments should be held in a regard of self trust and self honesty, where I know I am actually capable and willing to act on my commitment and so if I should fall in my commitment it gives me a chance to see where I was lacking in insight as self honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear smoking has affected my ability to direct myself within breathe, and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be possessed by this fear as allowing it to prevent me from actually facing this point in self honesty.

I realize I must face these hard truths, the things I don't want to face.

I realize this is not me, not my best interest, when I refuse to face something in self honesty.

That's the ego. That's the me I created to subvert my true power and potential as life.

It's not whither I do or don't smoke cigarettes it's that I refuse to investigate within self honesty,

I have turned cigarettes into a bad thing,

They could be great for my immune system for my bodily function, they could be a healthy herbal ingestion, or they could be cancerous and nasty,

But it is that I don't allow myself to find out in self honesty, because I fear the truth of my participation and creation.

I commit myself to investigate my relationship to
cigarettes, so I can find out not whether they are objectively good or bad, but so I can see what I have created as the act of smoking within myself.

I commit myself to investigate my relationship to my breathe in self honesty, to see if I am butchering my body within smoking, not so I might quit smoking, but so I might see for real the mechanics of my creation so I can make an informed decision, for and as myself as life.