Saturday, April 30, 2016
Day 99- Self Medicating With Good Vibes.
If feeling good is what it will take to accomplish certain goals in my life, and I can do so without foreign substances, and remain my breathing and self forgiveness patterns, I might call it the best self medication next to breathing, and self forgiveness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to feel good, as to feel at peace, to feel like I can accomplish all my goals effortlessly, to feel complete and fulfilled.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to feel good and competent, instead of living the words good and competent.
Why feel these things instead of actually doing them.
I feel like I need a jump start.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize to feel a certain way and to actually live and express a certain way, is not the same thing.
I'm going to try to use self forgiveness to feel good.
Openly on my blog for public inspection and criticism, but I'm going to see for myself.
I don't know what is going to happen, but I will find out.
I want to live fulfillment, not feel fulfilled.
I just don't feel like I'm going to make it without a jump start.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not feel very good all the time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not feel great constantly.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not feel like I have the energy to do everything I set my mind to.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be centered and focused to do the things I'd like to do.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be centered and focused from all the times I have allowed myself to be lazy where I saw no reason to have discipline or authority to create something good in my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be able to keep myself on a set track until my goal is accomplished.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear accomplishing my goals when goals are another part of life, and existence. From point A to point B.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others weakening me, when others should be empowering me, as I should empower myself through others and through myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disenfranchise myself my entire life, in the name of feelings, and entertainment, taking away from my purpose and self fulfillment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not accomplishing enough in my lifetime.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize sometimes I must step away from the world, to focus on myself, as equal to the world.
I still don't feel good.
I feel ok, but burdened by what I must do.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel burdened by what I must do, instead of feeling good about what I must do, feeling like I can accomplish what I must accomplish.
I'm the one who feels, yet I cannot direct myself to feel anything at any moment, unless I activate a memory, or something in my environment to trigger a certain response.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to give myself the power to feel however I'd like to feel.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not give myself the ability to decide how I would like to feel whenever I choose to.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my feelings be based on reactions instead of me deciding how I would like to feel for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel stressed out, when I have no good reason to be stressed out, and I could instead feel good about life.
'Feeling good' and 'good vibes' is something that I learnt a lot from in spirituality.
How can I invite good feelings into my life, and enjoy them, but also forgive my relationship to them.
I commit myself to trust myself in the direction I take within my self forgiveness as trusting myself to utilize good feeling and bringing good feelings into my life to enjoy, and support myself to be influenced to do better in all facets of my life, as well as a platform of forgiveness as another angle to look at things from.
Self medicating.
What happens when you use self forgiveness to try to feel good? I will find out what happens.
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