Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Day 103- Redefining the Word Work
How can I do more within my relationship to work?
In redefining the word and forgiving the current definition I've created, I can give myself a broader way to address work in my life.
I can take any moment I find relating to work in any way at any time, having to do with anxieties before, during, or after work.
I can look at how I function within my relationship to people at work, and how I act differently at work then outside of work in terms of how I behave.
I've made my intention to try to write about work regularly, looking to improve my ability to not be anxious before or during work, to enjoy work, to stand in work as being one of the biggest obligations in my life to be responsible for myself.
Dealing with the word work itself, is to me, taking on everything pertaining to work, knowing how I'd like to stand in relationship to work, where I'd like to do my work there in the moment, and enjoy that without resistance, and thus come home to address the other responsibility and activities I spend my time on, where I don't want to feel like I must spend excessive amounts of time benging on media and entertainment, because I feel I can't handle going into work without some kind of entertainment as release to the constraint.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create work as a restrain on me physically, where this is my current definition based on how I grew up interpreting work as a sort of punishment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare work to school where I hated school because I felt uninterested and like I was waiting my time there, so restrained from expressing and living the way I'd like to have.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my definition of work become based on the idea of being restrained as I felt in school when I had never even opened up or addressed the specific things about school that made me feel that way, and thus, my relationship to work formed in the same way, without any understanding or insight, I accepted work to be defined by the fear and ideas I created without compromise.
I enjoy working much more than I did school, and it can be all the things I know it can be for me, my conviction to sticking it out, and trying to make it work, and that is a good platform, but I've been working with problems I've created through delusion and imagination.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a definition of work that drags me down, when in reality I know work can me practical, and uplifting, and needed in all ways within the world, within my own world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let work be a place where I define myself as being stuck, where I'm stuck with all the problems I already have, and then have to face responsibility, and obligation without having the ability to sit down and address what had already been upsetting me prior to work.
What am I already realizing in assessing my entire definition of work as a word lived through me.
All the problems I have at work, aren't pertaining to the work and action and everything that really surround work, relationships, ect.
When I'm at work I can see that the problems I've made for myself aren't pertaining to reality.
Working is so real, so concise in how you interact with people, how you remain in motion/action, and when I'm in these moments I can see there is only blue skies, I can see how to live, not in the moment, but in action, in definition, in self movement and self empowerment.
You just act, breathe, live, accomplish.
I don't want to feel restricted by work, but I'm ok with working, be it regular writing, or job, or school, I have created and lived a restrictive definition for what?
Fear of not living a life free of work?
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as the desire of wanting to be free of work, when this desire was not based in reality or my best interest as life.
So, where specifically does this all occur?
This one word of restriction compounded onto the word work, can be occurring at anytime in relationship to the word work in anyway.
I've compounded many things onto the word work.
I want to stand in all of those moments changing and evolving who I am as what I live, as the words I live and express as myself.
What do I redefine work as?
Just the actions and responsibility themselves.
I commit myself to stop, breathe, when and as I see myself living the word work as anything I can identify as not being me deciding to take the actions and plan my activities out pertaining to work in one motion, no resistance, no complications, as I realize as walking and evolving my new definition in real time, I then will be able to more corrective address moments of anxiety, resistance, or anything that spoils the definition I have given to myself.
Defining words vs defining more specific instances can be really good for me, because I can take and live my words in each breathe, expand and improve upon work, even when I'm not at work, or when I'm doing a task I would consider pertaining to the word work.
I have something to work on in each breathe, I give more definition and purpose to each breathe I take.
I tried for a long time to find that, power and self affirmation in each breathe, but with the new concept of redefining a word, that can encompass
each breathe, and each moment.
Thank you. You just rattled my relationship with the word work :)
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