Day 126- Energy Enemy

I always feel like I'm fluctuating.

What's my relationship to this feeling?

I feel like I can never be still something is always moving.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to view everything moving within me as causing the friction and conflict inside of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to view this movement from within myself as separate from my creation.

Why am I creating this energy and movement within myself?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be self honest about the movement I experience within myself.

I try to focus on my breathing, to direct myself to stop my participation with this movement but I cannot do anything because I've not come to self honesty and self forgiveness in relationship to how and why I create this experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drain my bodies strength through corrosive energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to break myself down through energy of the mind when what I want is to just live my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spend all of my energy on experience of movement which leave me weak and unable to efficiently function.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that if I do not stop this movement from continuing it will gain more power over me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my creation power over me through allowing it power over me through the contract of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create fear as giving control to this movement within me because I don't want to face the time and effort on earth it will take to realize what I've created within myself.

I commit myself to stop, breathe, when and as I see myself giving the movement experience within myself power over me through the contract of fear, as I realize myself as having no choice but to walk out the patience and discipline required to live, walk, and investigate my creation within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being influenced by the experience of energy movement within myself as I realize I allow myself to be influenced, and the fear prevents me from being self honest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame how I am moved within my breathe and my body by the experience of energy moving within my mind, when I create fear in relationship to this experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist this experience within myself as I realize this resistance is a reaction as a suppression out of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be caught off guard by this experience within myself as I realize that this is such an ongoing experience and something I've put so much direct conscience energy into that it is not going to just dissipate all at once.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be distracted by this experience of energy movement within myself, where I can experience myself seeing this energy move like threads and strings and wihther I'm watching or interpreting something though my minds eye, or am just imagining this experience out of nothing, I'm not gaining anything from this experience when it constantly distracts me from being here and being centered.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create an energetic experience that prevents me from being able to naturally and fluidly be centered and grounded, where I feel as if I must always fight up hill against my own experiences to achieve centered focused calm and grounded state of being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create this experience of energy moving within my minds eye out of blame, where this experience has become what I must overcome, yet I can see how I've directly fundamentally created what I'm dealing with in my mind as energy and experience manifested over time and effort.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create an experience of an enemy within myself, of which I can fight.

I've created an enemy, to give me purpose, so I could be a hero.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to require to be a hero to have purpose in my life, as I realize a hero needing an enemy, and realize myself as just wanting to live and create a better life.

I commit myself to stop, breathe, when and as I see myself creating this experience
of energy moving within me as being the point of which I need to stop as to fight as to overcome, as I realize this virtual reality program of overcoming this enemy is my own creation, and when I play out this program I'm not being a creator, I'm just reliving everything I've faced in my life already on repeat, and I don't want to live this life the way I have been living.