Day 130- Redefining Breathe

Breathing in self direction, where I'm aware of my breathe, and directly participating in each breathe, to stop certain things within me, to support me physically in health and circulation, or to support me to focus on what's here physically.

That's one part of my current definition, which is very deeply ingrained because I live the word breathe so adamantly, I can't remember a time since 5 years ago at least where I did not every day work on my breathe, in being aware of my breathing, in directing myself within my breathe.

The other way I define and live this word is those moments when I'm distracted, and I realize, I'm not aware, I'm not participating within my breathe.

When I sleep and dream I'm not aware or participating directly with my breathe.

So, breathing I define as something that is constant, but that a person is not necessarily constantly aware or participating within.

What I need to look at is, for me personally within my definition, the physical experience of breathing, and the energetic experience.

I do not have a very good defined line between my physical experience within my breathe, and the energetic experience I have in my mind in relationship to breathing.

I define breathe as something I experience through my conciseness awareness, but not as physical awareness.

I define breathe as something that I can utilize to feed my energetic/consciousness needs, but I don't want to keep indulging those needs, I want to indulge the physical needs of my body in my breathing.

I define breathing for myself as very chaotic, and that must have to do with how much of a mental experience breathing has become for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word breathe, through the living of the word within me, as making breathing a way to soothe my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my mental experience within breathe, as more important than my physical experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create suffering in my life where I put all my energy and focus into the comfort of my mind, over the comfort of my physical body, as being with my mind in energetic experience within my breathe, instead of awareness of my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to ease my mind within my breathe, instead of easing my body, which is the actual platform from which tension and stress form and accumulate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define breathing as an experience instead of as a physical action which I create and participate within, where I realize that breathe is real, and something that I experience for real, so the mental energetic experience is just a distraction from what's here.

That's a little about my participation within how I have created the word through living the idea and experience of breathe.

Another thing is how within this, I'm trying to accomplish something within my breathe.

Something always has to be accomplished, and it's very draining on my physical energy supply, because it's a mental accomplishment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define breathe as a tool to stimulate my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit my ability to be as focused and aware of my physical body as to support it to the best of my ability, when I am trying to accomplish something outside of being aware of my physical body within each breathe.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define breathe as only being of value to me when I am being in self awareness, as I realize breathe keeps me alive even when I'm asleep and am breathing autonomously, so that's an important part of my definition.

So, in my new definition of breathe, breathe is all about the physical, supporting the physical, and can be utilized to stop certain thoughts and reactions and parts of the mind I'm walking through, because when I'm here within the physical experience, it's much harder for the mind to take over or be given influence.

My new definition of breathe: breathe is not something to be used to accomplish mental agendas, but to accomplish the creation of awareness and relationship between my awareness and my physical body.

I've been struggling with my relationship to breathe for a long time, but now I realize how I've been living a certain definition of breathe, and what breathe is, and now I can try to live my breathe anew, in a new definition, after looking at and becoming self honest and self aware about what my breathe is and has become.

I commit myself to stop, breathe, when and as I see myself living my old definition of breathe when I go into chaos and turbulence within my relationship to breathing, as I reassert myself as focusing on my relationship to the physical while breathing, and not getting hung up in the mental experience
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