Day 238- └༼ •́ ͜ʖ •̀ ༽┘ Wake Up Zombie └༼ •́ ͜ʖ •̀ ༽┘

Investigate desteni.org

I was thinking about how breathing in good feelings can help me, because I'm on the other side of the spectrum of feeling nothing, or feeling emotional anxiety and stress.

Then I think about how all the affects that this negatively I'm always in has on me, and how since it's the other end of feeling good, as the emotions being the opposite of feelings, that I could alternate my current to support myself, and since I'm focused on writing things out that it won't catch up to me too much.

Then I realize how I can support myself in self forgiveness to transform one thing into another thing instead of trying to cut it out.

So I want to try to feel good in each breathe, to change how I expierence myself from feeling emotially stressed and anxious and fearful into the opposite which will give me a break form how I have been for a long time, and give me another perspective within myself.

So there's a lot of ideas here to test out and see if it is supportive to switch the system I run up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing the system I operate by as my self experience will mess up everything I've worked towards with my current experience of myself as being very thick and moving around energetically and very tense and slow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust my discretion that it is good to explore elements of creating my experience and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my experience is only mental and doesn't affect the physical as I realize that emotions feelings and everything experienced does affect the physical through consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to repeating the same consequences ad nauseam.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myseld to fear changing my consequences as my mental experience of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not support myself by exploring other consequence within myself by giving myself a break on one end as emotion and gravitate towards the other end as feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allow myself to wear myself down all on one end of the spectrum instead of treating the spectrum as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take advantage of feeling good in each moment as I realize I haven't had many feeling good within myself as my experience of my self very much and so it's all untapped potential to look into and investigate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I never could maintain a good feeling within myself and most of my good feeling experience come from dreams and fanatices and aren't very breathe by breathe.

I commit myself to create a new experience of myself within myself in each moment where I take all of the energy moving within me and emotions and heaviness and replace it all with it's opposite.

When and as I see myself experienceing myself within my usual heavy, dence, energetic movement experience of myself, I stop, I breathe, I realize instead of stopping this experience all at once I can instead explore the other end of the spectrum to give me time away from hie i have been all my life to look at things deom another perspective to allow me to stop things and walk things out in a different way, thusly, i commit myself to bring through the opposite of how I have been experiencing myself the past 6 years or so and make it the opposite.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lazy in not wanting to put the energy into changing myself into a different system of experience and energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer to keep things the way they are then to change them even though it would be easier then actually trying to stop and change for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too lazy to even compromise with myself because my abuse within what I currently am creating is so automatic that from a system level I can just let back and everything will occur naturally as a mind energy creating system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sit back and roll over for the energetic mind control system I've created even though I've realized a way to support me to face myself that I would still enjoy even as a system person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate my laziness potential as I realize I've undesitimatrd my laziness due to lack of self honestly about it.

I forgive mysekf that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate that I'm so lazy that I can be handed an answer to support myself to walk my process of life that is interesting and fun and desirable and not realize that I've given up so much that I'm already spiraling into nothing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to offer a choice in the matter if I'm so far gone that I can't even accept the equivalent of food and water in terms of system energy exsistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself a conscience choice to accept or reject my offer to change systems to support me.

I forgive mysekf that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I'm so zombified that I cannot make decisions and need to hsvr all of my decisions made for me without conscience option or input getting bin the way of what's best.

When and as I see myself trying to convince myself to accept my offer to change to a better system, i stop, I breathe, I realize I'm too far gone at this stage in my life to be able to make decisions when it comes to what's best for life, thusly, I commit myself to force the system switch from positive without choice on a conscienceness level, as with spoken and written self forgiveness the decision is already made and all I have to do as a zombie is be breathe.

Like shocking the dead body back to life, a total switch in energy current.

I forgive mysekf that I have accepted and allowed myself to intrust conscience as my gatekeeper.

I forgive mysekf that I hsve accepted and allowed myself to let conscience deciding what flies and what does not within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust conscience which had an alternative agenda over me as life who cannot be one and equal to who I am to be having an evil agenda.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my sepertation control me when I let my conscience mind decide what flies and what does not within what all moves within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trusting myself as phsyical aliveness to be able to manage what come and going inside of me.

When and as I see myself trusting my conscienceness to balance me and direct me, I stop, I breathe, I realize I'm fighting uphill in using my conscience to stop conscience as creating consequence, thusly, I commit myself to give my phsyical aliveness the authority to direct and manage what flies and what doesn't within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my phsyical aliveness won't let certain things through which I desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that trusting my phsyical aliveness to have the ultimate say in what flies within me or not will prevent my idea of switching to good feelings from the emotions I've been feeling as what overwhelmingly defines my experience of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to take my idea and give it to my phsyical aliveness because if it really is as support and food as I see it as then there's no hidden agenda and it can be explored.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear because I know there is secret agenda to switching from emotions to feelings but I don't know if it's bad enough to stop my idea from going through.

When and as I see myself fearing my idea not going through, I stop, I breathe, I realize that it's possible my physical aliveness will accept just the best part and leave out the part that is a hidden agenda to just feel good, thusly, I commit kysekr to accept sbd cooperate with the decesion i mskr on a phsycisl level as i realize tgere is no good rrason to fight muself in that manner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not force myself to take on the switch within myself because I'm so tired that it's hard to do everything I want to do in single day and switching my energetic system means i don't have to take drugs, vitamin, or any other supplement for energy I can just change my current and enjoy all of the excess feeling energy going totally unused.

-_- so nice....

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself a choice in the matter, when I need the extra energy to accomplish all of the things I want to do in the day, do well at work and school and with Desteni, and to support myself physically and through my process progression by giving myself a nice paradigm shift to work with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear a paradigm shift if my energy to fuck up my sleep patterns, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I won't be able to get to bed and rest after the paradigm shift of energy.

When and as I see myself fearing how the shift will affect my energy level, I stop, I breathe, u realize anything but the energy level I run on now is better because I'm really messed up energetically, thusly, I commit myself to utilize the paradigm shift being forced into me to support my energetic relationship to give me more energy to do all the things I want to do in a day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take my negative dread towards all the things I beed to do and manipulate it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dread my things I need to do instead of turn the current into a positive relationship.

I forgive mysekf that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change the negative fear of having to do things into s positive desire of wanting to do my responsibilities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not support myself living the word manipulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge manipulation as a bad thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider what I can accomplish through manipulating myself through self righteousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to still call myself the good guy by holding onto little things that could make a big difference for me like manipulating my feelings from negative to positive when if support me to accomplish my goals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be self righteous in not letting myself reach my goals of doing my work and homework and writing and studying and other stuff out of self righteousness.

When and as I see myself not utilizing manipulation to support myself to reach my living goals, I stop, I breathe, I realize I'm valuing being righteousness over being manipulate when they are one and equal as living words, thusly, I commit myself to manipulate myself to support me to reach my goals in taking negative relationships of stress and anxiety and fear and turning them positive.