Monday, November 21, 2016
Day 275- preparing to be annoyed
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I'm not annoyed right now, but I will be annoyed eventually, there are things that I know will annoy me, I know that there's nothing I can do to stop the annoyance once it has already happened, the only way to stop it completely is preparing for it now before it happens.
It could be anyone, or anything, or specific things that I know annoy me, I can't handle being annoyed anymore, I could live with it, but I'd rather just cut it out all together.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myseld to judge myself for beinf unable to stop myself when I'm faced with something that annoys me very much.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myseld to judge myself for not having the will to stop my annoyance in certain cases, where I realize without the right platfrom I'm hopeless to my annoyance in certain cases.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to expect myself to stop annoyance when something annoys me and I precive myself as being annoyed by something else, I hear or experience something and it becomes my reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect myself to be able to stop annoyance of vertsin things when I experience the annoyance as real, as though it is a real part of exsistance which I cannot stop.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define annoyance as real, where when I get very annoyed within certain situations it's as though it's not me personally being annoyed and not taking responsibility for my reactions, it's that reality itself is exsisitng within me as annoyance.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let annoyance become an existential provlem for me instead of just admitting that I can and must figure out how to root it back to myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry when I get pent up and feel annoyance building up and maybe want to snap because I don't have any grip as any way to curve my annoyance and direct myself to stop it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not understanding the things that annoy me, where I don't need to understand annoyance from any point but myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look to other's to see why does this person annoy me, instead of, why do I allow myself to annoy mysekf in realitionship to this person.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysekf to be annoyed by other's when I don't want to cooperate, where I don't think it's fair I have to take certain responsibility or iniative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be annoyed with having to take responsability for myself in situations that I'm not prepared for or happy with.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself for continuing to become worked jp and annoyed where to break down even one point of annoyance completely can take a lot of time and effort, and when I am covering so may different things, the consequence is not seeing everything through to completion.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect myself to cut out annoyance within me all at once where I break it down a little see what I can apply, and then learn, live it, face it in real time, to give me real input to come back to, where how could I break apart annoyance all at once where the onlg way is to go back in and become annoyed again to learn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be annoyed with my own body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be annoyed that I have to hey up in the morning when I really don't feel like getting up.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be annoyed when I really want to reach for a goal, but really don't want to do the work required or oyut in the effort required.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be annoyed that I am uncentered within myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming more annoyed instead of less, where that might be what is required, some points might lesson and some photos might still need to build up, but that's why I am preparing myself, because I identified annoyance as something that I predict happening to me on a regular basis.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be annoyed I have to do things when I'm tired.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be annoyed that it isn't fair I have to do things when I'm tired.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysekf to be annoyed when I owe someone something.
When and as I see myself angry that I still get annoyed, I stop, I breathe, I realize I haven't invested half of enough time on any point of annoyance to really transcend it, thus, I commit myself to slow down breathe and direct myself to just stop annoyance and direct myself the best I can in the moment where I don't have to stop annoyance completely I can just do my best.
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