Saturday, December 17, 2016
Day 284- word, trapped
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There's a hot tub I get to use at my job when i get out of work.
It was really cold out and I did not want to get out of the hot tub because it was very cold outside, and very comfortable in the hot-tub.
So, being stuck in that situation I did some self reflection.
I saw how I wouldn't get hurt to get out of the hottub it was just comfort, and then I thought about how it was the same situation when I have to get up for work where I don't want to get out of bed and will push things as late as I possibly can before finally getting out of bed.
I'm trapped in the hottub to comfortable to get out into the cold, and I'm trapped in bed too comfortable to get out, I'm also trapped in not living up to my schedule where I short cut and cheat my schedule out of similar comfort traps.
Also when I stopped doing self forgiveness and doing things my own way was a comfort trap too.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get stuck in comfort traps where I'm really comfortable and don't want to lower myself to doing things that don't make me as comfortable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to only doing things that are more or equal to me in comfort where I don't want to push myself harder or dig in deeper to things I'd rather just stay at my comfort level.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself get trapped in comfort in my mind where I'm thinking about how much I want to sleep in and how much I don't want to get up or get out of whatever is making me comfortable instead of just taking action and untrapping myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear leaving my comfort zone where I want the problem to just resolve itself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate the responsibility of being the only one who can get me out of my comfort zone when I get stuck in it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not bridge the gap where right now I can see I shouldn't be getting trapped in comfort avoiding responsibility and indulging in comfort but when I'm actually in the situation the desire to stay in comfort is extreme.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be trapped by comfort where I let my decisions be made by comfort where my desire for comfort prevents me from just getting myself out of the situation where I let the comfort desire influence me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let comfort unconsciously influence my actions where I can be direct and make better decisions directly then unconsciously doing whatever my desire tells me to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how intense the experience of the comfort trap is where when it's happening is hard to relate to when I'm outside of it.
I redefine trapped as having been caught in a situation that is not the best for me, where I can trap myself in some cases because of my own behavior and decisions, and can be trapped in other situations like being trapped if I feel in a hole where I literally become trapped if I can't get out.
When and as I see myself trapping myself in comfort where I see I need to face something or do something but refuse to leave the state of comfort I'm in, I stop, I breathe, I realize that this point is so dominate in my life because it's a big point of transcending where if I can face this point it opens up a lot of possibilities in my life, thus, I commit myself to face each time I fall into a comfort trap and not give in and do what I'm supposed to do within the realizing that however intense the moment of being trapped is the pay off of not giving in and doing what I'm supposed to do is worth fighting myself for, where I might have to go into conflict to get myself out of the hottub when it was cold outside and had to really dig in and figure out what it was going to take and put up a fight before I was able to best myself and get out of the hottub, but it was worth it once I finally got out.
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