Day 283- investing in life through self forgiveness

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the way I am within my mind is how I'm supposed to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my mind being the way it is even though I am unable to be here in any moment without my mind running endless programs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear who I am without all the programs running in my mind as personality and ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how my mind works in pictures where in trying to relax my mind unleashes all the pent up pictures and personality that come storming out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my mind is too vast and powerful that I can't even leave a dent in it where I have seen that I can, that I can change who I am into who I'd like to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let pictures in my mind run without any oversight where the pictures and personalites assossaited with them are always at play, where just supressing them while trying to focus on other things only validates them as having power over me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider the end point of the pictures where the point of the pictures in my head is for me to live a dream and to not realize my best potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that personality is designed to prevent me from realizing my best potential.

I commit myself to direct my life towards the best I can be each day, where I can see me giving into my mind when I don't reach my best potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as giving up a part of myself when I can not let my mind make my decesion for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am as letting my decesions be made by my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being myself when I reach the other end and become diciplined and not give into my mind in my day to day schedule where once I live my schedule perfectly I'll be a different person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up the luxury in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing my attachments as crutches and addiction as they are in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my new person being challenged by other's.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain and struggle of reaching my utmost potential in my day to day schedule where I would schedule more self forgiveness and the more self forgiving the more I change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define change as giving up who I am where I'm just changing who I am to be better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the better person I could be as being empty and vacant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define external stimuli as fullfillment instead of as distracting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the inevitable where I refuse to let go of my goals but postpone them and avoid facing the full brutality of them as much as possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for my life to stabilize and improve before pushing myself further.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my limitation to not push myself further.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify why I drag things out and don't face things head on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a boring person without the stimuli that fullfill my personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my personality of needing external stimuli in media and entertainment to run my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind be run by entertainment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear digging myself in deeper into my addiction to entertainment in tv and media where I see my goal as cutting out a drastic amount of media and entertainment and focusing on self improvement and my wellness and stability in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trade my wellness and stability for a moment of pleasure in entertainment.

I commit myself to keep pushing towards my goals of schedule self forgiveness and self improvements and cutting out and managing entertainment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take advantage of the inevitable where I know I'll get to my goal eventually so I do as little as possible and indulge as much as I can instead of actually putting my foot down and getting to my goals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be patient and percistent in seeing how deeply ingrained certain endulge in dreams and fantasy and entertainment has crippled my ability to reach and realize my potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my tools for granted where I know if I keep using my tools I'll get where I'd like to go but in that I use them only when I am already needing them instead of using them on principle and proactively.

I commit myself to push myself to not let my goals be something I let unfold buy something I take authority over.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let authority be defined as villinay.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define going with the flow without authority and even rebelling against as authority as being great and God like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live authority within my life where I instead go with the flow and don't push myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate authority as the pain of being structured instead of realizing the gift of structure.

I redefine authority as taking charge and not just going with the flow and pace of the mind.

I commit myself to live authority in my life over myself where I don't always just go with the flow buy realize when it is time to take charge and dominate myself and my decesions and make my move.