Day 297- emotions in stomach and fat

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I hate feeling fat

It's all in my stomach

I think it's not even fat, I heard about how you can have lots of undigested meat and stuff in your stomach, I feel like maybe in just fill of undigested food.

It's like I've reached this point in my process where I'm applying more self forgiveness and just trying to live more experise and eat better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry I can't reach my stomach yet where my stomach is not changing with me, when it is changing in my bowl movements in weight loss in having way more enegry then I've ever had before.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that my stomach isn't moving fast enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to notice that I'm more comfortable in my body, notice how things are slowing down, notice how my stomache is processing things better and simply be agnry that it's not enough, that I feel like my stomache is dragging me down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my stomache for dragging me down where my stomache helps me slow down, helps me not get ahead of myself, supports me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that my stomache is slowing me down where I need to be slowed down still, I've always had a lot of energy always been impulsive reckless gotten ahead of myself I need and am supported by having an ancor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate my stomache as my ancor allowing me to slow myself down and make decesions in a practical way not just pumped up with energy being careless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my stomach for not doing more for me then what is doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my stomach where I'm afraid of how I feel like I'm dragging my stomach around and it might not be able to pull with me moving forward through my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I've been too glutounous and lazy and won't be able to pull my stomach out of that state I've put it in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my stomach area being hopeless where I forgive myself that I have accetpted and allowed myself to not consider I can't do any more then what I can physically do where if my stomach is unable to move forward then I can't move forward either.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate my stomach where everything else within me is all cool.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my stomach as not cool for being fat and dragging me down even though it's also equally doing the most for me in supporting me and being my ancor among other things that my stomach and belly area does.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad for mistreating my stomach where I never knew everything that I was building up in my stomach and even had a day I can remember where I looked down at my stomach while crorching down and was like how did my stomach get so fat? When did that happen, over night or something?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss being younger like as a kid when my body was simplier and I didn't feel dragged down by my own body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate dragging my body as my stomach around where there's a certain strength and fun to being lanky and carrying weight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself where if I had just really gotten into my process for real in self forgiveness years ago I wouldn't be physically where I am now in my stomach I'd be way skinner by now and better looking and healtier.

I forgive myself that I have acepted and allowed myself to be angry at having this bloated feeling in my stomach that I can't describe where bloated is an important word I went from feeling fat to seeing how it's bloated feeling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry I feel like a boat just floating on the ocean like what't the point where is this boat going what am doing?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear feeling like a boat on the ocean without purpose where I'm creating and living a very specefic purpose in my life in self forgiveness that is the direction I'm sailing in now and plan to sail to until I die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to just go bed to just shut this feeling down where maybe I'll probably feel back to normal in the mourning where, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to shut down this expierence instead of open it up, use it as an oppritunity, and now in drawing certain connections through opening things up in self forgiveness I see something very particualr about my day I had a certain flow through my day in my actions and interactions with others equal to having more healthy multiple bowl movements in one day where it's like my stomach had a flow to it, and my living had a flow to it like I'm flowing like water, not perfectly not without hitches, but my whole day had a flow to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be overwhelmed by my flow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear flowing too well having too much fun getting along with people too well like I can't handle that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel paranoid when my life is flowing so well like this is too good something bad must happen to counter this good flow I'm having in my life at the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being too cool, getting along with everyone too well like that's too much influence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that my stomach is another point I need to outline where I'm tired of outlining things and not having a point to face at the end of the day that's specefic and I can adress specefically and not just something to open up and wait for it to get more specefic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let this point of feeling bloated lead to tiredness where I'm allowing it too be too broad and undefined that I want to just give up trying to sort it out at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to just get past this point coming up in relationship to feeling bloated where I'm uncomfortable, I feel insane like somethings in motion and I have no idea what it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear something being in motion within my somtach and not being able to identify it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear something bad being in motion within my stomach where, what would that be, like something some point I'm overwhelmed by coming up within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear some overwhelming point coming out through my stomach where I can't imagine what point could just randomly come up not in real time in interaction with the world that could possibly be that overwhelming to the point of discomfort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be curious like I want to know what's going on in my stomach and I'm angry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be able to figure out what's going on in my stomach by being angry where anger is an intense emotion which will just shut things down even more and prevent me from being able to see into my stomach and what's going on down there even more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be excited like my stomach has a gift for me and I want to know what it is right now like before the gift is given to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear in my excitement of what's going on in my stomach burn myself out beore I can actually figure it out before it actually natrually comes to light.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad like I want it now, I want to know what's going on in my stomach, I've waited my whole life for this moment what's going on down there?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be stubborn and selfish like if you're not going to tell me what's going on stomach then fuck you I don't care anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed that in my desperation to know what's moving within my stomach that I'd ruin whatever gift it was just out of personality of being impateint like I don't have to wait for this I can just ruin it and move on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into depression like whatever my stomachs gift to me is that I'm seeing something in the works it can't be worth all this emotional turmoil.

When and as I see myself getting dragged through this emotional turmoil of ups and downs in relationship to something moving within my stomach, I stop, I breathe, I realize I can't rush this point and I don't want to ruin it in getting over worked, thus, I commit myself to just move on with the rest of my night and let it be whatever it is whenever if ever it comes back up again.