I climbed up a little hill and was sitting on a cliff, it was not very high I'd probably be ok even to jump off it unless I landed wrong, but I wasn't even close to the edge, but it still made me nervous just that if I stumbled off somehow and landed poorly I'd be in trouble.
I wrote out about my nervousness of being on the cliff and how the fear of falling is what would make me more likely to fall out of fear itself, where the safest choice would be to not go into fear because fear can throw off your balance and prevent you from acting properly which is like an analogy for fear in any situation, fear always compromise the best action to be made.
I wrote out that part in self forgiveness, but then thought about people who enjoy not just being on a cliff, but on the edge of a cliff, and a very higher one then I was near.
I remembered a point of how I've grown disdain for people who do parkour jumping from roof to roof, or messing around on high places, and doing those adrenaline hunting activities.
I remember always disliking even skateboarding which I saw as really dangerous.
I used to think some videos of people climbing up high places without protective gear as maybe cool at some point, but can remember slowly finding a sense of maturity like they shouldn't be doing that, I don't think it's cool they're doing that any longer.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge adrenaline junkies as stupid
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as superior to adrenaline junkies like 'I would never put myself in that danger'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate adrenaline junkies thinking 'why would you risk throwing your life away like that'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to adrenaline junkies thinking of how upset my mom would be if she knew I was doing something dangerous like they do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge adrenaline junkies as not being brought up properly where maybe there moms would enjoy seeing them doing stunts until one went wrong.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear hearing about the times where things go wrong with adrenaline junkies where a stunt goes bad and they die.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about adrenaline junkies when I see them in videos or images
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as better then adrenaline junkies because I don't risk hurting myself falling off of things
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge adrenaline junkies even though I relate to them in saying things about living on the edge to find yourself where they must be so focused in that moment that they're almost walking there own process with there bodies in that moment of balance in dangerous places.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge adrenaline junkies as going about finding themselves all wrong.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question why I dislike adreanline junkies so specifically more then anyone else.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take adreanline junkies choices to do dangerous activies personally
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to empathise with adrenaline junkies imaginig there suffering if things go wrong for them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge adrenaline junkies as seeking attention through taking unnesisary risks.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate adrenaline junkies where I don't struggle with hate towards even people I know acting out horrific acts where I just relate to them in my head imaging that they must be suffering inside and sick inside to hurt someone else.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear claiming that adreanline junkies are sick in the head because that goes against 'america' and 'Freedom'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear calling out adreanline junkies as being evil for putting there lives at risk for a thrill when they could do something good with there lives instead of living on the edge selfishly
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine an adrenaline junky arguing with me about there freedom to choose to live that way where I could say that something could go wrong very easily and that they should rather put their lives to doing good then riksing it for there own self interst.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being too hard on adrenaline junkies who risk there lives
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing where to draw the line where some people who do crazy stunts that aren't that dangerous but still could go wrong where even driving a car is dangerous if you make the wrong move.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge adrenaline junkies when I don't even know where to draw the line where I saw a video of a guy biking down a mountain which looked really cool but even that could have been dangerous for him.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about where to draw the line in disagreeing with someone else about what activities are too risky instead of just being the example I like where I'd rather not see a cool video of someone riding there bike down a mountain just to be on the safe side even though it's not that dangerous.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged as a boring person for wanting my example to be living on the safe side of things far away from the edge.
When and as I see myself judging adrenaline junkies as stupid, I stop, I breathe, I realize where they're coming from just having a diffrent line in the sand about risk then I do, thus, I commit myself to breathe and to accept I can't stop them from standing for there free choice to put there lives at risk.
I commit myself to express my side of things as staying on the safe side.
I commit myself to not argue with adrenaline junkies where they are aware of the risk of there actions and It's not my responsibility
to convince them to change.
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