Day 362- Pushing and resistance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not face resistance and stand even when something seems uncomfortable or challanging.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to commit to something if it seems difficult or challanging.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care that deep down actually living and real development beyond games and entertainment seems more gratifying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than moving and being happy and proud to live the dicipline and structure to really develop myself and assert who I am and will become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand and commit to who I want to be and become by simply structurinr what must be done and facing and willing myself through the resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complicate my life and process with shortcuts and illusions instead of simply moving through the resistance and creating who I am and what I express within that movement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone trying to avoid the inevitable instead of standing and facing the pain I inflict onto myself through my mind and living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the resistance of others showing me parts of myself to be moving through and facing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that my life doesn't get too difficult.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel excited to see where I can simply forgive and change to face resistance and actually move myself physically and practically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as less than having the grit and strength and will to do what I must do in comparison to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel frustrated with myself for not giving that little push each day which may have made a big difference in who I have built myself up to become over time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to face the resistance of changing the Dynamics of interaction with others where there isn't always a positpos happy relationship but being shown what is wrong and needing correction through myself and everyone I interact with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize there is more pleasure to be found in avtactua moving and facing myself than to run and hide.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse and not face the resistance when the call had come to me to stand and fight to forgive and keep going and never give up.

Resistance

Re set stance

I redefine resistance as showing me where I am not standing and have failed to stand.

I redefine resistance as a force preventing another force from coming through completely.

I redefine resistance as a force showing me to myself where correction is needed.

I commit myself to everyday keep pushing and facing the restsiance within myself to change and correction.

I commit myself to never let go of the fire within me which can see and comprehend my potential to actually change and move myself physically to action.

Day 361- Building

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and consider that who I am is built up every moment and every breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care that I am building my personality every moment in every thought and action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care that I'm building my behaviour in every moment in everything I do each day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed to have negelcyrd to care that I've been building my life directly dismissing my oppritunity and giving into suppression and inferiority as who I am and allowed myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate looking at my life as who and where I am and seeing that besides the external things I cannot directly control everything I am is what I have built upon every day without any care or drive to assert a better standard of life for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for building a life that I would prefer to be better instead of taking action now and forgiving and changing moving forward

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame and hate myself furthering the issue in during so and further Building up myself in blocks of self judgement and self defentions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to build myskdm and my life up should it challange my own self interest in my mind as pleasure and energy and gifts without work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build mysekm up in excitement as energy without any follow up building excitement as an exspected on that everything will come to me without any effort on my own part.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to build myself up and structure my life once hitting enough dead end and conflict to accept there being no choice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never take a stand to have built up my life with integrity grit and honor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only move myself to build a better life for myself and others in any way once reaching an apex climax of abuse and misuse of everything granted to me many times over repeatedly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build myself up in grief and guilt as if I should 'feel bad'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to let anyone in to support and reflect any kind of guidance rather building myself up in my bubble and my ideas safe for a short amount of time before the bubble pops.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consistently and effectively utilize my self forgiveness as a to of support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed having no idea where or how I'd even like to begin to build myself up and even begin to change or correct any part of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame energy for not building me up correctly instead of seeing how my creation and psrticopartic and allowing of enegy to be me and represent me was all my responsibility completely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to destroy all the seeds I had once began to have planted in a state of competition competing my self and what I am building with everyone else and so giving up to build my own destruction which no one else could compete with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bill the physical as making the physical and other being pay for what I desire to build in my mind justified.

Build

I redefine build as to create something of structure or substance piece by piece collected and assembled over time.

I commit myself to build myself up deliberately in each moment.

I commit myself to not let anything be built of myself and my allowance which I do not accept as tolerable or acceptable.

I commit myself to build together accepting what I build as equal to what others build as themselves.

I commit myself to build something of myself with real integrity and foundation that will always stand.

I commit myself to realize there is no giving up just building strictures within oneself worth less than what I realize could have been built.

Day 360 - Strength

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait until I'm in the worst negative mind experience before accepting that I need real strength to move myself and take action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failing to not try to take action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stepping into living strength and immidetely falling for the pitfalls and traps I can create.

I forgive myself that  I have accepted and allowed myself to force myself to learn strength through depravity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire strength as a feeling of energy to come and sweep me off my feet and make everything better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear falling in face of chaos where I might have a chance to be strong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I won't reach the finish line I've imagined to exsist in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not worth having a chance to become strong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate the strength in structure and discipline.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear possibly in my minds eye having potentially one chance right here to decide what I want to do as strength moving forward and hold onto that expression until the end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to despise letting myself find strength in others outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be selfish withholding all strength I could ever possibly find outside of myself waiting for the strengths within me to suddenly magically be and become as if ordained or deserved without question like magic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I may not find the strength in this lifetime to clean out the mess I've accepted and allowed of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live the strength to try against all odds my mind I've allowed to believe exist against me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear never finding the strength to face the cross over at death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing what I'm living for in each moment to have any strength for any reason.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exspect myself to push as hard as I can physically in each moment to be the only strength possible.

Strength - I redefine strength as to move forward pursuing the potential I see as bests for myself and all as life even in the face of impossible odds accepting the possibility that the odds that I believe in my mind could always be misconstrued.

I redefine strength as being able to stand up to what must be done.

I redefine strength as moving to act on something good worth value even when difficult

I redefine strength as to stand down and be easy and at ease when needing to balance myself out.

I commit myself to command myself as strength to come back to writing and speaking self forgiveness for the support and great guidance of self honesty that I need.

Day 359- Humility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel shocked by how much I've thought I've known about anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel suprised that I don't appear to know or comprehend anything in particular.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as incompetent where 'I should know or be aware of something of significance by now'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for where I'm at where I don't need to know or understand more then where I am here and what I comprehend from where I am right now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to convince myself that I know anything or understand anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for being at the bottom where 'I should have become or accomplished more by now'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate and relish where I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need to prove to anyone that I'm at within myself and my comprehension more then where I really am and what I comprehend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that learning from others is a postion of inferioirty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace humility in always learning from others no matter where I am at within myself and my comprehnsion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate and nurture the part of me that does want to learn from everyone as equal.

I commit myself to accept where I am and what I comprehened unconditionally.

I commit myself to not try to sell myself as understanding more or being more then who I am here.

Day 358- Believing self forgiveness is 'too difficult'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret giving up on self forgiveness a long time ago when it seemed too difficult.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret seeing in retrospect that I could have stood and changed the course of my life in taking on the challange despite how big and daughnting it seemed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to feed into the same patterns of simply accepting where I am in relationsihp to self forgiveness because I now see no other choice for the rest of my life but accepting where I am as not challanging myself to take things even further and become more precise and specefic and following through to actually changing and living within my statements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret pushing myself to become the best I can be in relationship to my writing and living of self forgiveness now because I've faced the consqeunces of making a run for it, when I would have liked to have stood and faced up to the challange the moment it arouse instead of coming back to it defeated years later only because there's no choice left.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dismiss everything I've learnt and grown and perfected along the way to this point seeing everything as pointless and worthelss without a fundamental grip undersatnding and application of self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a mood energetic state of being defeated as not really caring, and just doing it because I have to not beacuse I really see myself as capable and willing to go all the way for whatever it takes of me to do so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad that I've lost and diminished all my drive and inspiration and passion towards process and self forgiveness and am just pushing myself day by day from a point of this is just my life now, this is just what I do, as if who I am within in it doesn't matter anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be patient with myself and nurture myself in appreciating that I'm here, I am the decesions and consqueences I've made up to this point, and that's ok, because I am here again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to supress and go numb within myself to not have to face every day all that I've lost in what I've chosen in trying to cheat and manuver my way out of simply sitting down and accepting what I must do and putting everything I have into it for the rest of my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into depression not seeing anything I could do as worth it due to having fallen in relationship to what could have been for myself if I had not faultered and ran where I was supposed to stand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see no reason to not just keep digging myself deeper becoming moody and spiteful seeing myself as inivitably having to stand and fight to stand over and over again for the rest of my life to no end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react and go into a mood in relationship to the consquences and points where I've fallen up to this point where I'm within this just feeding into the same pattern all over again and reinforcing it under the guise of trying again, without really changing who I am within it all.

When and as I see myself reacting to the challange of what I must do in relationship to perfecting myself within self forgiveness, I stop, I breathe, I realize that going into a mood over how I've complicated my application and diminished myself is me falling within the same point all over again, and not even willing to accept standing in just the most small simple minute starting point, thus, I commit myself to write myself self forgiveness or speak my self forgiveness consistnetly and regularly every day or where I can every other day as the smallest act of standing in relationship to where I've fallen in giving up to extreme lengths in the past in relationship to self forgiveness.

Day 357- Self conscience paranoia

Desteni.org

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others being able to see into me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others being able to see my consquences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable suspecting everyone to be able to see into me to one degree or another and being able to see where I'll stand or fall or anything about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others picking on me where they can see my vulnrabilities when in reality no one points anything out to me and let's me handle things on my own unless there's something very serious needing serious adressal to support me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate the support system of other people being able to see me as themselves and being able to refrence me with themselves and point out diffrences in me with them to support me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to others who I suspect being able to see things in me that I want to hide and keep away from anyone else seeing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blow my issues and problems out of proportion by hiding and supressing them to protect me from others isntead of simply adressing what are actually simple points that would be better forgiven then supressed and hidden.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide away from other people instead of utilizing them as a mirrior into myself where each person is someone I can look into myself at from a diffrent point of view.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others instead of using them to look at myself from a diffrent persepctive as who am I as an old person, who am I as a women, who am i in relationship to an animal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into opinion of I don't like that person, isntead of seeing it as I don't like who I am as that person, I don't like who I am in relationship to that person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear of they can see the truth of me, insetad of I can see the truth of me through them as a mirrior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate having to question who I am accepting and allowing of myself through others.

I commit myself to stop fearing others being able to see into me.

I commit myself to breathe and shift into I see me through others.

Day 356- Channeled message from the owl

Desteni.org

https://eqafe.com/p/channeled-message-from-the-owl-part-1

The owl in the interview said that human beings are creating consequences for nature. So then I write out my reaction to this as my starting point to create clarity without reaction so I can see how to move forward in my life after finding out what's happening on earth because of humans as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my responsability to correct myself as a human being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear questioing what choice I have then to become the best I can through process after seeing what's happening with nature beyond what I can see for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for thinking that nature will just have to deal with human consquences and it's not my problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for not bettering myself for life and nature more effectively and consistently with the tools I've had.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify me not using the tools I have as effectively as possible to change myself in relationship to life and nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty being alive knowing that I cannot immidetely correct myself and will inevitably continue to contribute to abuse while working towards change in my self thorugh my tools.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from the serious nature of consquences I see in watching the interview with owl by supressing myself into complacity and giving up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what's happening on earth doesn't concern me if I'm not aware of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being responsible for the issues and problems with my own libing and behaviours I've created over time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to further compromise myself by going into panic racing thoughts of 'I need to change right now to fix things on my end'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be practical as seeing the infromation as supporting my comprehension of why I need to walk process and at what pace is needed and appropriate to push myself as hard as possible without overwhelming myself to a point of self defeatism.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a human being as bad for not exsisting and living in way that supports what's best for life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed that my goal for my process shouldn't be to just take care of myself before I die but also do better for nature and others.

When and as I see myself feeling guilty for my contribution to the massive abuse occuring on earth as myself as a human, I stop, I breathe, I realize that the guilt is a distraction causing even futher abuse and no ansers, thus, I commit myself to breathe and to focus on pushing my writing and application in process further to actually figure out what I'm going to do and how I'm going to write out and change for myself instead of going into guilt and self defeatism without adressing the actual infromation presented by the owl in the interview.