https://eqafe.com/p/reptilians-patience-and-how-to-live-it-part-43
...
Quantum mind speed.
I have still within me the point of which I tried to 'cheat' process.
I can now relate it back to the need and capacity to live and redefine and apply words, purifying and incorporating.
...
The absolute drive and determination to cheat my process, the idea, within my own secret ego/self to go faster than anyone else. Is well outlined in this EQAFE audio posted to the top of the page.
I really wanted to go hyper speed. And it stemmed from a lot of reactions and programs and things within myself I did not want to face word by word in detail and specificity and self honesty.
I had forgiven myself in writing to a great extent regarding this time where I totally lapsed in my process trying to go to this fucking ultimate hyper speed dimension, and yet in reality probably being the most suppressed and neglecting of myself and creating substantial consequences still being dealt with to this day.
However, the regret of lapsing for such a long time in the past from doing my self forgiveness trying to cheat process, today I considered, a different dimension of approach I may not have considered.
...
Redefining that drive to go fast, to create, to do immaculate great things in any moment, how I might still live that very same point, that I may require to live that very same point, but not in the mind delusion of hyper space of going faster than reality, but in fact by living it and applying it as my word in my living.
....
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret proving a point to myself through trying to cheat process and go faster than the pace of which reality function through self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I did something wrong, that i cheated, that I should have known better than to lapse for so long not applying my self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for pushing a point within myself so fast and hard and consistently to such a great extent that I could never unsee it, begging the question,
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself as the past as memory where who I am now is so captivated by applying this point of creation that I discovered and was exploring and ensuring it is being self honestly considered and applied in living word in self forgiveness in Techno Tutor.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry that I created from my mind as words from my mind not being applied self honesty proven and referenced through self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mistake what I was creating in the past when I was not applying self forgiveness as being something and being real and being of substance where I was not using the tools that could guarantee my proof in words in writing I was acting as a mind guard a mind machine trying to prove my value as mind over my value as life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear checking my starting point through self forgiveness through self honesty to prove the truth to myself where I would challenge if my ego was driving the point or not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not apply the point I saw in the past, here and now in the present and simply live the correction of utilizing and implementing my entire arsenal of tools enabling and ensuring my self honesty as I delve into myself and what is possible on the cutting edge of living words.
When and as I see myself regretting the past where I pushed a point to an intense extreme without applying self honesty of my starting point as self forgiveness for a very extended long period of time, I stop, I breathe, I realize that a part of me needed to push this point to ensure that I would never forget or unsee it, while also coming back to the self honest revelation that self forgiveness is inevitable no matter what and cannot be escaped or avoided, thus, I commit myself to push the cutting edge of who I am and my potential as living words to it's ultimate limit, and to utilize self forgiveness in all ways always to ensure that my starting point is always clear.