Day 227- Taking in Everything

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dependent on hunting the end all point of self movement within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never be able to sink into my breathing and my body and the moment I'm in because if I'm not surviving consequences I've created, then I'm searching for the end all point to stop consequences within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bother searching for the end all point to end consequence within myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seek the end all point to end resistance within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek and end to anything within myself apposed to walking through things in real time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the consequences of not being able to end everything of separation within myself all at once.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the consequences of not being able to end all separation within myself all at once when that's what I've been living all my life.

When and as I see myself fearing not being able to stop everything all at once and having to live out the inevitable consequences that will come up, I stop, I breathe, I realize this is what I've lived my whole life and that consequences don't have to do anything else then improve me so long as I can live to do so, thusly, I commit myself to embrace consequences as part of my process as learning from consequences and seeing what they have to show me without judgement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be misguided in my view of taking in everything I can in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see taking everything in within each breathe as in taking more then I can in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to take on more then I can handle in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking in everything at once appearing to be a end all means of breathing which will finally guarantee me comfort in my constant living on top of all the self forgiveness and correction and life changes and experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the point of taking in as much as I can in each breathe as being an end all point where I'll finally establish a permanent degree of comfort in my life that I'll be able to always maintain.

When and as I see myself wanting the point of taking everything in that I can within each breathe being a point I can utilize to bring permanent comfort into my life, I stop, I breathe, I realize how many times I've made a point out to be an end all point of self perfection and how I've always been wrong, and I realize it's ok to be completely wrong without any degree of being right, thusly, I commit myself to establish the point of comfort that I am looking for, or forgive myself if the comfort is not needed and just based on something that is better off not implemented from my mind of desire, and I commit myself to stop seeking end all points and to realize when I'm interacting with an end all point something might be wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable with my stomach fat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I can't see how I got to be the size I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be surprised I don't have enough physical awareness to have seen this fat developing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for being so unaware of the physical that I wasn't able to see how I became fat in my stomach.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resent myself for not catching my body becoming the size it is when I don't resent myself for hardly anything else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resent myself for being fat in my stomach because I see that as making me not as attractive as a being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being unattractive for having a big belly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disgusted by myself for not having a perfect body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge not having a perfect stomach as disgusting and repulsive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself stomach as alone being enough to make me unattractive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my stomach as being enough to make me unattractive when I am attracted to girls who have large to larger then average entire bodies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my ability to work with through accepting my body when I desire to change in any way possible my body for women who I view it have as higher standards.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand for a relationship where I have to compromise my self acceptance of my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to manipulate my view of my body to force it to change when I don't even want a relationship where that would be expected of me, and no such relationship probably exist because it's very specific.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I cannot change my view of my body to that of acceptance without judgement because I inherently view fatness within myself as unattractive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to obsess of over attractiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to fight with myself to reach a point of being able to forgive myself of my judgement and separation from my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear fighting with myself to be able to stand for a new relationship with my body as I realize everything is a fight before it's completely forgiven.

When and as I see myself fearing that I can't stop how I view my body through the lens of attraction and unattractive as judgement, I stop, I breathe, I realize through self forgiveness i can change my perception as I realize my perception is in my mind, and my body is not attractive or unattractive anywhere but my mind, thusly, I commit myself to fight with myself as much as I need to for me to reach the point when I'm finally willing to accept how I've judged my body and become wiling to completely forgive and correct.