Day 334- time flying by

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When I think about what I've accomplished over the years it makes it seem like times gone by fast.

It's scary to think about how much I've let time slip by hiding behind distractions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into terror in reactions to how I've let time fly by.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for letting time pass me by.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be shocked that I let this happen when I could have done more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I let myself get dupped in wasting time on pointless stuff that wasted my time and weakend my fire to move and take action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to an ideal of myself that I've always desired to become but never found myself seeing it through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I wasted so much time when who I wanted to be and what it would take was right in front of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed that I got caught up in things that have diminished me as the energy and toys I play with in my mind and in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how weakened I am to move forward and become the person I'd like to be compared to how much stronger I could have been.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self honest that I let fear and distraction waste my time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself become afraid and disorianted due to my wasting of time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to claim that it's too late because I don't want to accept responsability for how I've let myself be distracted for so long.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to justify how I've wasted so much time as 'finding myself'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste time finding myself when I knew what needed to be done and there was nothing to be found but what I already knew.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel petrified that I can't believe I wasted so much time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear seeing how easily I slipped away even though I had presented to me everything I needed to reach my utmost potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to see in self honesty if I had what it would have taken to reach my utmost potential from years ago.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold one moment of seeing my utmost potential against myself for not pursing it as far as I could have gone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for not taking my whole life in a certain direction based off only one moment in time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for not taking a single moment and memory and using it to see my entire way through life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self hoensty that my life consisted more then just one memory and that I idolize one memory of myself and supress everything else entirely.

When and as I see myself comparing my potential I realize now to a single memory of realizing that potential in the past, I stop, I breathe, I realize that in idolizing one memory of seeing my potential I supress how I was already very busy destroying myself and any potential I could have had in time, thus, I commit myself to see who i and and where I am within myself as a collection of many different moments and decesions and not defined by a single experience that I expected myself to take all the way through my entire life.

I commit myself to make good use of my time on earth and not expect things to just sort themselves out in time.