Day 429- Star 15- Electromagnetic radiation

 https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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Stars produce energy through nuclear fusion. This process creates electromagnetic radiation, including light. 

I am learning about stars. 

I learnt about stars relating to electricity. I put in a long list of words about electricity

 into Techno Tutor.

I did self forgiveness on the word electricity and some things I realized tied

directly into my living of the word electricity. 

Then I redefined the word for myself.

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Star is a word that represents something to people, and also has a physical cross reference in reality.

There is a lot of science and understanding behind the word star when looking at the celestial body of the star in space. 

Taking on the unique aspects of the word star and then processing them, takes the word back to me, and so back to myself and my living as equal to star. 

There is a lot science to take back to myself and uncover within the word star.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at the word star and draw a blank not considering how much science and research and words already exist in relationship to actual celestial bodies as stars.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of the word star and just see the four letters that compose it written on a page and not consider and see the entire world and multiple dimensions of what this word represent as what a star really entail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to learn what a star is from my mind and not from my being from processing and defining the word for and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that a star is an entire universe just as I am equally a physical body composed of many pieces all functioning together to make a single being. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my mind I am superior to a star because of my vocabulary where I can create opinions and ideas of myself relative and in separation to others self's as other things I see around me. 

When and as I see myself looking at the word star, and seeing nothing but four letters on a page or screen, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I am not taking the symbol back to myself as the entire universe that it represent and I am seeing the world in black and white and void of life, not considering myself equal to all that is, thus, I commit myself to break apart every nuance to the word star over the course of the entire year. 

I commit myself to educate myself on what Electromagnetic radiation is. 

I commit myself to educate myself on what is a star and to redefine each word of interest that I learn for myself so that my learning becomes my living in equality and oneness not just knowledge and information in separation. 

Day 428- Doing only what feels good

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gravitate towards what offers the most pleasant stimulation or sensation in my living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only act on my feeling that I enjoy or prefer as personality of which I cannot explain

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not act on principle of establishing what is best and doing it regardless of the feeling that does or does not come with it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that who I really am as in my absolute reality in this moment I can see in my body how I have been living as acting on self interest as feeling has actually created the inverse where I have no connection within my body and am actually suffering proving that the feeling itself is irrelevant and just a point of distraction missing the point of substance where feeling comes from anyways.

I forgive myself that I have acepted and allowed myself to not do what feels good as a principle as aligning with what is best and then feeling good about doing what is best where I can trust the feeling as it is aligned with the actual best action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have never questioned feelings for myself to this extent either enduring or suppressing never looking at the reality and nature of feeling and sensation as who I am and how to align the point as myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make things very difficult more than they need to be to lure myself into the trap and temptation of pursuing feelings over all else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have acted on what feels good as mind consciousness feel good that developing feeling as a living word is very difficult because of how much I have imbedded feeling as consciousness within myself in this lifetime.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself 21 days to focus entirely on doing what is best only and not permitting feeling to indulgence any of my decisions or actions and see who I am and my relation to myself by that 21 day period.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined my very process by a feeling and experience sensation and so devaluing who I am as living word and devaluing who I am as created by word and navigating by word and communicating by word where you cannot structure yourself or support yourself merely off of feeling.

I commit myself to attempt a 21 day challenge of acting entirely off of principle of what is best and never acting according to a feeling be it positive or negative. 

When and as I see myself anxious that I would immediately fail at such a challenge, I stop, I breathe, I realize that finding out how quickly I would fail when deprive of feeling as a directive is actually a good reference to see where I am at in self honesty, thus, I commit myself to attempt this 21 day challenge even if it is filled to the brim with constant and ceaseless failure. 

Day 427- living heartbeat

 Heart.

I am trying to live a specific word in a specific way in a specific reason.

In doing so something unrelated opened up. 

Pushing one living word actually pushed forward another word simultaneously. 

Heart.

It seems easy to live the word heart. 

Just like breath.

Yet I've found myself judging it, stopping, and not caring to live the word heart, to live like breath as the heart in each moment.

What happened that I held back my heart? Like one would hold back a breath?

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To prove it is so simple. 

I'll stop for a moment with star, to write about heart.

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No fancy words, nothing complicated, no sybmolism. 

Heart, as in heart beat.

Heartbeat

living heartbeat

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Until it is done.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have stopped being here as breath and as my own heart beat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how much more effective I am i as here as my heart beat in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have forgotten my own heartbeat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not commit myself to my own heartbeat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have neglected my heart by not being here as breath and as heartbeat despite seeing and realizing that I could do so and it would be simple and free and supportive and best for all of life, yet I stopped and forgot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry to see my weakness that I would realize something is best as to be here as my own heart and yet stop standing as my heartbeat directing and living the word heartbeat in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed that I have been living in reality in a point of delusion where I was not living as the beat of my own heart in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself by not being here as my heart and instead being elsewhere where life is abused and I am not here to intervene on the behalf of life as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let a single moment pass where I commit abuse by not beating my own heart.

When and as I see myself not being here with and as my heart, living the word heartbeat, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I am abusing myself when I am not here in every living capacity I can be to stop my mind fully in every dimension possible, thus, I commit myself to be here as my heartbeat not only feeling it but directing it in each breath in each moment never missing a single beat.