Day 420- Star part 7

 https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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"a conventional or stylized representation of a star, typically one having five or more points."

I realized today that I actually have a star on my back. 

It's funny in writing about the star for a few days that it's only occurring to me that I have a star tattoo. 

I was driving and looking at the carl's jr restaurant which advertises itself with a logo of a smiling star. 

I have the Baphomet sigil on my back which is the upside down version of the regular conventional Carl's Jr logo.

There was a specific reason I got this tattoo of the satanic star

I got the Satanic upside down star during a time where I was having severe revenge of the ego, and was having some mental issues/mental distortions. 

I saw the Satanic star two times. Which is not a usual thing for me to physically see something from my mind projected on the physical/ potentially see something very deep that is not the normal things you see with your eyeballs.

I saw the star right before I was becoming a Techno Tutor distributor as someone was talking to me on the phone relating to becoming a distributor, and at the time I experienced it like they were showing me a part of myself, that they were showing me this part of myself which were represented in the satanic star, and then another expression of myself which was really nice and I liked, I didn't like the expression that I saw from the satanic star.

I saw the Satanic star, a second time, where I from the first time I saw it, saw that I was being warned from a part of myself not to go that direction or that there were two different courses of which I could go in my life and that one was this not great direction and the other was really great. Through many decisions I made and due to instability I was struggling with in my mind I went down a path of a lot of abuse and violence and it was during a violent altercation with my ex wife that I saw this star more vivid than ever surrounding her head like an aura, and I saw this physically with my eyes. 

So, after seeing it the second time over around close to a couple years even from seeing it the first time, I remembered seeing it and the warning and realized that I had chose the path of what this symbol within me represent.

.....

So, time to clean it up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that going down the path that I did, because it happened, showed that the path in life which the satanic star represent was the path that I was always going to take as it was always within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to panic when seeing that this evil was within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have walked a path of evil when I wish that I had chose the path which was not represented by this symbol of the inverted star but a path that was more like a cool soothing ocean.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for walking a path of evil where I was abusive and being abused in a partnership with my ex wife.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made ideas and projections about this path that I have walked and the tattoo that I have got to cement the symbol and the memories so that they are not forgotten.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not forgive myself for the evil that I have embodied and realized has been in myself for an unknown amount of time.

Day 420, it's funny that weed played a big role in the path of evil, the path of satanic that I have walked as abuse of myself and my partner and using marijuana creating instability in my mind body being relationship. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk a path of evil by smoking marijuana.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk a satanic path due to smoking marijuana.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged the satanic panic and the relationship to marijuana as a joke or as stupid and yet I have seen how big a role Marijuana played in my disruption from process from success in life and being my best self. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not utilize my star of Satan tattoo as a point of reference as a point of correction as a point of reminder of where I have been and the worst of myself I have seen and why self forgiveness is and always will be required of me to walk every day. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not even considered that the sigil of Baphomet is actually a star and I saw who I am as birthing myself as the star of Satan as the star of evil, as the star of my own abuse and separation and annihilation.

When and as I see myself fearing the sigil of Baphomet and remembering my abuse and my evil that I endured at the hands of others and acted upon directly myself, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I have this inverted star on my back as a reminder so that I always come back to process and self forgiveness and changing myself in this lifetime as I have seen without a doubt the deepest depravity of abuse that I have walked as victim and as perpetrator in this life, thus, I commit myself to look at my tattoo of the inverted star on my back as a reminder and to bring everything back to process as I have sealed on my back the absolute wickedness of the mind as what I have created and allowed as consciousness as separation as abuse as evil.

I commit myself to forgive myself and correct myself of the evil I have lived in this lifetime. 

Day 419- Star part 6

 https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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Star is close to start.

You cross like a t a star as a starting point.

When I found process through You tube listening to Bernard, that was my star and so that was where I identified my starting point.

I identified then many other Destonians as different dimensions and starting points, and that although Bernard was the primary star there was many references and that it was an entire constellation of stars as different Destonians clearly visibly walking their process. 

start. 

I have started my process in different calibers and different dimensions, and then have stopped.

I use to blog a lot more frequently and saw it as the pinnacle of what process was.  

I started and then I stopped. When I really stopped was when I judged myself as seeing myself as a star simply for writing an 'online journal', and so I had found other Destonians walking a different path of process I never knew before. 

I judged what I had walked as insignificant, I judged my journal as poor, foolish, naive. 

Now I have begun reigniting that point that I had found and started, now at this moment I am walking multiple dimensions of 'process'.

I have heard some people regard process as being one thing, and some as process being another thing. 

I have started every single facet of process which I could identify thus far, spoken to many different Destonians and people involved in process. Consumed many different pieces from the material from Desteni.

I see that I have identified and started in some capacity anything I could consider being the pinnacle of process. 

Even being in an agreement/relationship is an aspect of process which I had seen through to it's bitter completion over the course of many years. Actually potentially a great departure for both parties, but that's only for time to tell.

So, I have started a many different aspect and dimension of process.

So, a real star, someone hellbent on birthing themselves as a star best for all of life, regarding all within it's nature of oneness and equality, a star like that would shine with everything considered, and see it all through till my last breath. 

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start and not finish my blogging out of judgement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sidetracked starting a process of developing a relationship to breathing and in so abandoning my self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have started breathing and living words and writing self forgiveness and yet stopping being engaged and finishing to completion all of these process when I became enamored in a relationship with a women over the course of many years. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start a process using Techno Tutor and then abandon the things that I had developed and started in regarding other aspects and relationships in my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have started using Techno Tutor and seeing it as an aspect missing in my process and then have stopped and given up on it resuming with other endeavors. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have begun as started a process with living words and then judged it as something I could not figure out nor understand and so go into a state of lacking of word lacking of defining and refining myself and my reality as the words I am actually living and expressing. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have started forming relationships and getting to know the other Destonians and then stopped when I became a Techno Tutor distributor going into hostility and reaction to them for not having started an aspect of process which I deemed as invaluable and undeniable. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have begun Desteni I process only to have stopped and not seen it through even when having switched to different buddies or looked into different means of either paying for or getting a grant through writing blogs. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to begun as start a process with exercise needing to improve my health and my relationship with my body so that I could succeed in all facets of process by having an optimal managed relation to my body and the physical yet stopped when my prior relation found that she was not as enthuastic about exercising for herself and so I stopped a vital process within myself to appease this relationship that made it difficult to exercise as an agreement. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have stopped working at certain junctions in my process despite seeing that upon starting to work and how I was able to afford certain physical requirements in process like DIP pro, Techno Tutor, or EQAFE and other ventures I was supporting within moving reality to a position of being corrected through process through changing the system, yet I went into overwhelming that it was so hard and so difficult and so beyond what I realized that process would not always come easy if ever. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for shortcuts and go into denial of building a Techno Tutor business being the most difficult aspect of process that I had encountered to this day going into total and absolute revenge of the ego ravaging myself in my mind going into total and absolute denial and self destruction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have started the journey to life blogs of heavens journey and creations journey only to fall flat and give up on those never reaching very far into them as a daily habit. 

So many things I have started and stopped. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made a jagged and rough and turmoil filled process because I have started and started and started many a thing I realized is vital to me in my process and then traded or discarded or did not finish or see through to completion. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have begun my process very early on in my life of stopping my mind consciousness and yet stopped, so far back that I cannot remember why more than, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have begun my process in the very beginning of my teenage years and then stopped to pursue delusion of spirituality and drugs and sex. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself in this one last lifetime to starting every single aspect of my process but not finishing or seeing to completion any of it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have stopped walking process during a phase when I had lost my father and was forced and thrust into survival in the system having to work and drive and figure out what to do for a career and a future for myself in the world.

starting and stopping and starting and stopping.

I have been stuttering and stumbling through my process very not smooth and very not graceful and making the load very hard and big.

When and as I see myself having dropped an aspect of my process, I stop, I breathe, I realize that in this last lifetime with these last breaths and moments I have that I cannot leave a stone unturnt and forgotten, thus, I commit myself to challenge and question in myself and others whey any aspect of process is being left behind started only to stop.

I commit myself to see through to completion all of my process considering every aspect equally of relevance and importance in totality.

I commit myself to finish what I started as birthing myself as life as the process of me becoming a star in this lifetime as a star of my process which I can then as a star give that same potential I realized to others. 

I commit myself to document my process through writing my blog.

I commit myself to using Techno Tutor.

I commit myself to building the Techno Tutor business.

I commit myself to reading the heavens and creations journey to life blogs.

I commit myself to participating and connecting with other Destonians.

I commit myself to form an agreement with another to share in process together.

I commit myself to write my self forgiveness and correction every day.

I commit myself to breathing actively in each breath never missing a breath.

I commit myself to living words as defining and refining my living and my potential itched out in every cell and breath and moment as the words I am embodying and living and expressing writing and speaking the words out to be shared and communicated how I redefined them and lived them for myself and others. 

I commit myself to finish what I have STARted from the day that I found Bernard.

I commit myself to finish listening through EQAFE.

I commit myself to read the Desteni material.

I commit myself to listen to all of Bernards audios. 

I commit myself to never stop any aspect of my process ever again, as killing and denying a part of who I am leading to immense suffering and horrible abuse.

I commit myself to exercise to support my body to be at it's best even when feeling sick or faced with resistance. 

Day 418- Star part 5

 https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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There is someone who I learnt has the same horoscopes as me. 

I don't historically care much about horoscopes either way. 

In this particular instance I was giving significance to the horoscopes being aligned both with the yearly Chinese cycle and the monthly regularly considered cycle. 

lol ^^^ I am a Sagittarius Pig. I love this little pig with his bow and arrow. 

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It is not that I cannot turn something that is just a system design or not necessarily real into what's best as giving it meaning and substance that I define and live as what is best with myself.

It is simply that I need to clear out any preexisting relationship to the idea before I can really do anything with it or discover if there is any substance to it or not in fact. 

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that horoscopes of any nature are totally irrelevant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that considering something like a horoscope is totally as a waste of time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge taking even a moment to consider something I have learnt and heard about as horoscopes as being a total waste of time and having nothing worth considering about it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not challenge and question all things where I should look at every construct and idea in the world and take it back to myself to actually establish who I am as that point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to see how in my living I have been a Sagittarius or been a pig in the Chinese horoscope. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that blanket terms bundling in people born in an entire month or in an entire year could possibly be accurate to all the individual points that would make up a person born in a certain month or year. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the way and means by which a person is programmed is entirely based around their environment and their being and has nothing to do with celestial alignment. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a persons celestial alignment when they are born is totally irrelevant and not pertaining to anything signficant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the stars are just random things that i see and could not possibly have significance regarding their alignment when someone is born. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the stars only exist to be a random dot in the sky and to be a light and serve and represent nothing than what I can consciously recognize with my eyeballs. 

When and as I see myself reacting with resistance towards the idea of a horoscope, I stop, I breathe, I realize that a horoscope represents the stars alignment based on when  a person was born into this world, thus, I commit myself to consider that a person being born into this world like a star of themselves is relevant in their position to all of the universe including the stars and planets. 

I commit myself to not judge myself for questioning and looking into the significance of having the same Chinese and monthly horoscope with another person.

Day 417- Star part 4

 https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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X is used to replace any person I am speaking from personally. 

X said to X that X is the guiding star or the northern star to follow their lead.

I agree with that regarding X in terms of their process that they are living and embodying and what they are sharing and showing with others.

So in considering the stars in the sky, X would be the brightest star in the sky showing the way forward and the possibility to everyone else walking process. 

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot accomplish that which X has accomplished in their business.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will never be as significant as X.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that there is only one north star in the sky and that this star may be the most prominent and best as a guiding point of reference but is only another star equal to all others simply with a specific purpose. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have the same purpose as X.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that each star is equal and serves a purpose equally not requiring to be a point of direction like the north star is. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not honor my purpose as a star when I compare myself and limit myself towards judgements about X and their significance for all walking process. 

When and as I see myself diminishing my purpose and importance in comparison to X as me not being the north star as X as been described, I stop, I breathe, I realize that all stars are equal and if there was any more than one north star that would actually create a lot of misdirection and confusion, thus, I commit myself to honor my purpose as a star as equal to X despite me not being a north star as their should only be one north star less it be very confusing for people to navigate the world. 

Day 416- Star part 3

 https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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I was seeing the news about drone's being reported. 

I was looking at the moon outside and saw a star bright illuminated adjacent to the near full moon. 

I wondered if the star was normal, or if it was moving, maybe a plane or a drone like in the news.

Under the light of the moon the star seemed to wobble and I could not tell if it was stationary or not. 

Looking at the sky and the stars seemed different tonight. 

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to distinguish the stars from other moving lights in the sky.

I forgive myself that I have accepted ad allowed myself to fear losing the stars due to so many other obstructions of lights in the sky. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear never seeing the stars again and only knowing them as knowledge and information only seeing artificial lights moving in the sky. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the stars in the sky.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider who I would be if I never saw the stars in the sky.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being without the stars.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that the stars are existing as more than knowledge and information even if I cannot directly see them. 

I commit myself to not be distracted by all the artificial light in the sky and actually look up at night to notice where the real stars are shining through to the earth. 

Day 415- star part 2

 https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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I have not birthed myself as a star. 

I am not living as a star. 

The path to living as a star, is like process. 

I gravitated towards the people walking process who were the greatest of stars. 

A part of me see me as having strayed too far from stardom. 

Living as a star is like akin to walking process. 

Process is like becoming a star, birthing yourself as a star.

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I fractured myself so many times that I do not shine as bright a star as I had the potential to be. 

A star deluded and refracted in mirrors and tunnels and creating illusion. 

I am stuck here where I believe it is too late for me to become a star, that I ruined my chances of being a star. 

...

A star gives. 

I am not living as a star where I am refusing to give because I am holding onto the abstractions of myself in my mind, my beliefs, my opinions, my ego. 

I must give as I am, as whatever star is left possible for me to live before I am a star that could have been but never was. 

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear creating myself not as a star by the end of my star creation journey.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge those who I deem as having fallen at their potential to give their lives to becomes great stars.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking at what is required of me to become a star in this lifetime.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself in punishment to the past where I fell as creating myself as the greatest star possible for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not lead with a firm starting point of who I am as becoming a star and the how and why I must be a star to be a light for others as a living example of the process which we all will walk. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the star that I see myself forming as based on where I am and what I have seen of myself so far as my projection of what my life as a star as living as a star will look like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish that I was a different star.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the star that I will become based on my ideas and judgements of what that star will be when I do not actually know until it is. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself as a star.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prevent myself from being born a star in this lifetime.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold everyone back while I limited myself from being the greatest star possible. 

I commit myself to correct my mistake of suppressing myself as a star in the past, by moving forward now preparing for the next year to begin as it is a year of the star and so my chance to redeem myself as my stardom.

I commit myself to walk my process as totally as possible every single day until I birth myself as life as birth myself akin to a star birthing itself into exsistence. 

Day- 414, star part 1

You're A Star! - Reptilians - Part 466 « EQAFE

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Based on this recording, next year will be another year of the star.

So, I'm planning to embark on putting a lot of effort into redefining and establishing an effective living of this word going into the new year.

This recording series about the star goes into detail of how to determine a year of the star.

...

I have historically made myself out to be a star. 

But, in reality it stemmed from an insecurity that I never feel like I had or ever would 'start', so believed all I was left with was to fluff my image and identity as being an inherit star by birthright, by being at the right time and place and circumstances. 

In this system the people who we consider stars are just people who were in the right time and place and circumstances. People aren't treated or regarded equally as all being stars.

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be more of a star than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider who is a star like who gets money in this world require one to be less of a star so another can be brought to light and focus and attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not redefine the word star for myself in a way that I can be a star in fact, but lead as an example of the process walked so all can equally bring forward their living as a star.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as a star of self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be willing to cut others down so that I can be elevated as a star in my mind and ego and personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the hierarchy of stars due to basing my view and perception and living off of the system I was born into. 

I commit myself to create myself as a star in my living of the word star in my reality so as from the starting point of showing how I walked the process of becoming a star and giving that to all equally to have the opportunity to become as a star themselves in their lives.