When I'm upset or frustrated it's easy to push people away and become confrontational.
Sometimes I make an excuse like I'm busy, I'm tired, I'm upset when I try to avoid someone or initiate conflict before trying to assess the situation in a realistic way .
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push people away or go into conflict with them when I experience myself as short on time like 'I don't have time for this', so then I just push or run away.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other's for me being too short on time to deal with people in certain situations where it's my own responsibility that I have mismanaged my time for so much in different parts of my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to face responsibility for my time mismanagement with other's where I have to face certain things like if I don't want to deal with someone and want to instead do my writing or go home from work and don't want to deal with co-workers I need to just man up and accept that I should not take it out on other's that I mismanage my time.
It comes back to my scheduling again and having to continuously face the consequences of my schedule, which equals me scheduling self forgiveness each day, which equals my process, so the consequences I face with other's is the consequences of me not properly living out my schedule.
It all starts yesterday, I got my blog done and then some more self forgiveness and then I went to bed early, where that was not necessarily part of my schedule, but in a sense was a grey area/loop hole that I immediately fell into right after writing about that kind of thing so then I go to bed early and don't get all the self forgiveness I planned to get done, then the next day, today, I feel short on time because I went to bed early and lost time of the day, and then I'm not as sharp as I could be the entire day and it all just keeps stacking up.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let me mismanaging my time and schedules affect my responsibility and relationships with other's where because I didn't mange my time and schedule I'm now off my game with other's and am not as cooperative as I'd rather be and let things just keep falling apart.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed that I just sat down to do all this writing on scheduling yesterday and then immediately found a way around everything I had established for myself as a loophole that technically was ok but not really.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so clever that I immediately find flaws in what I establish for myself where as clever as my loophole was it would have been better to just have made an adjustment on the fly and not circumvent everything I worked on just because it wasn't specific enough in a certain way as in going to bed early which wasn't specified in the list I made but could have been assumed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept the consequences and fix them on the spot as making adjustments in real time to atone for me not following through on my schedule through loop holes.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have the integrity to face the consequences for mismanaging my time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other's for showing me how I'm not living my best potential as following though with my schedule which results in my doing my self forgiveness where if I'm angry with someone, then I need to look at how if I had spent more time doing self forgiveness I would be more capable of not being angry because self forgiveness would have helped with that and so if I lived my schedule then I wouldn't be in that situation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shut down and not work with other's because I have not properly prepared for things in self forgiveness.
When and as I see myself shutting down in relationship to conflict in my day, I stop, I breathe, I realize that if I follow through on my schedule, i'll do all the self forgiveness I have scheduled, and then I won't be in as much conflict because conflict is reduced through self forgiveness, thus, I commit myself to humble myself to the conflicts I accept by not doing enough self forgiveness each day, where the more self forgiveness I do in a day the less conflict and the better the next day is, thus, I commit myself to follow through with my schduel as not going to bed early so that I can get all my self forgiveness done and then won't be in conflict the next day.
I commit myself to not go to bed early, where I can go to bed and sleep in later, but not go to bed early, is a good establishment for now.
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