Day 397- Festival of Legends

 Festival of Legends is the name of the new Hearthstone card game expansion that came out recently. 

The timing of the release of the new expansion along with a multitude of other factors lead me to playing this new expansion for the card game fairly extensively recently. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start playing video games again in blame of external factors in my life that are out of my control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the timing of the expansion dropping right around the time of something that I had anticipated in my life to move which I could not directly control. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty knowing that I could be working towards something instead of keeping myself distracted with video games while I am waiting on something I am hopeful about to work out for me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with video games because I do not want to take on the new responsibilities that are coming up in my life and want to go back to that state of suppression and denial that has not been fully eradicated from me yet. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play my card game because in my card game I can win and there is a definite winner and loser and I can try to defeat someone else and strive for this sense of accomplishment without all the intensity and actual ramifications of real physical living decisions that affect my life and others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that playing a card game when I have tons of mounting responsibilities I am ignoring does not stop time and prevent reality from moving it simply distracts me from having any sense or being able to relate that for every moment I waste playing card games to have fun and energetically engage with others in a game the real game of life is still moving forward without me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to play my card game because I do not have to actually put anything for real on the line as I do with real life where there is real risks and real mistakes and the players are other real people and animals and existence. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not play in my real life and play with my own business and job and relationships and whatever else I am creating or building in my physical reality. 

When and as I see myself desiring to play with the new cards from the new expansion for my card game on my computer/phone, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I am avoiding the real life game and the real life stakes at hand while I am waiting around for the piece to work in my favor, which just like my video game isn't how reality works, thus, I commit myself to play the real game of life where my goal of the game is to be my best and create what's best as being my best self as much as feasibly possible everyday. 

I commit myself to have fun at whatever I am required to do any day just like a game. 

I commit myself to take charge in my life just like in my card game where if you don't play your cards your opponent will win and you will certainly lose. 

I commit myself to challenge others and myself the way I would in my game. 

I commit myself to acquire as many point as possible by walking my process as effectively as I can each day and doing my best with my life and the things I am participating in and creating each day. 

I commit myself to stop playing video games and start playing the game of real life. 

I commit myself to stop watching videos about my video game, where I wouldn't even know or be aware of the new expansion except for seeing people playing it on videos being advertised to me through YouTube.