When I see others in a certain state of their process, of their business, of their success, of their wealth and I experience a reaction that there is no way to match this person, no way to defeat this person, and in that I feel I have been defeated.
I experience than why try? I've already lost. This has lead me to cheat, to try to skirt the rules, to try to make my own rules, to deny, go into total baffling denial of what is.
It's all ego obviously, if I see another succeeding in their process, in their business, in anything that I see would be beneficial for me in my life, business, process, success, ect, than I should strive to rival them, not as a war, not as an enemy, not as my ego selfish desire to be the best, to be far and beyond anyone else.
rival
ˈrī-vəl
NOUN
- one of two or more striving to reach or obtain something that only one can possessone striving for competitive advantage
- companion, associate
- equal, peer
ADJECTIVE
having the same pretensions or claims : competing
...
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rival others out of hatred and spite and jealously.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not rival others to support myself to give myself a challenge to give myself a goal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create unhealthy emotional rivalries where I am emotional and upset that I see someone else as having accomplished something that I am certain I cannot match nor better in my lifetime.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create enemies out of all other human beings in my ego wanting to be the best and yet certain it is too late to be 'the best', and that I must simply resign to being 'my best'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a nasty person who only cares about victory and ego and me winning above all others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not guide myself and create myself into a person who competes in a healthy nature in a supportive nature the kind of competition that will be relevant and supportive even in an equal money system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I have judged another as better than me and have certainly limited myself to that box of judgement where I see no path forward to being better than another, that's just the stupidest thing I can do to so harshly so cruelly judge myself and others as life to be the ultimate most evil judge in existence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the most selfish evil judge to ever exist to judge so harshly and so intensely that I have spiraled my own life out of control over and over in reaction to the very judgements that I made and I decided and I governed in myself and my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throw out actual living principles entirely, where if the goal is to win and I have already lost what is left to be done of my life and my self than to waste away until death, that's abuse.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself and others through my desire for power and control and greatness of which I cannot even site exactly where or when or how this came to be within me I just accept it and on some level want it, and on some level see how problematic it would be if I did have a massive amount of influence or money or power in the world due to this nature that is very clear within me I can see.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not strive to be my best, instead of being the best.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider striving to be the best is ego and not realistic or attainable and is what causes countries to go to war and causes all that is been created on earth and in existence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that to strive to be my best is the complete opposite of striving to be the best.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that I cannot be the best and be my best, I can only choose one, and they are completely opposite and only one is actually living the principles and makes sense and is feasible.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do the things that I see I must do given to me by example through every person I have met and been exposed to through process, not to claim their work and their intentions for my own self interest, but to stand together, and even to rival, to redefine what it is to be a rival.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define rival by hatred and anger and nastiness instead of by unconditional support a goal to be one's best self using other self's as reference a challenge that will go on for eternity.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use those who have came before me as support to drive me and motivate me and give me direction and purpose.
...
When and as I see myself going into a reaction as a state of competition where I see someone else as having defeated me, as having accomplished more and better than I can feasibly accomplish, I stop, I breathe, I realize that this is very core and central to all of my failings in my process, and is something that will rot away at me for the rest of my life, ensuring my demise, as a cancer I am willing and happily creating to destroy myself with out of total resentment and self hatred due to my own decision and my own judgement of who holds power and value in life, process, business, success, ect,
Thus, I commit myself to redefine how I live the word rival from emotional to unconditional support.
I commit myself to take on the challenge of how I can improve and be better of which I see in another person, not out of ego self interest but as to support me and them equals to refine ourselves and walk in an agreement of bettering ourselves to be our best strongest self.
I commit myself to strive to do the impossible of matching and equaling others in their process, in their business, in their living success not out of ego to defeat and to conquer, but out of principle, out of agreement, out of purpose.
...
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rival others out of hatred and spite and jealously.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not rival others to support myself to give myself a challenge to give myself a goal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create unhealthy emotional rivalries where I am emotional and upset that I see someone else as having accomplished something that I am certain I cannot match nor better in my lifetime.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create enemies out of all other human beings in my ego wanting to be the best and yet certain it is too late to be 'the best', and that I must simply resign to being 'my best'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a nasty person who only cares about victory and ego and me winning above all others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not guide myself and create myself into a person who competes in a healthy nature in a supportive nature the kind of competition that will be relevant and supportive even in an equal money system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I have judged another as better than me and have certainly limited myself to that box of judgement where I see no path forward to being better than another, that's just the stupidest thing I can do to so harshly so cruelly judge myself and others as life to be the ultimate most evil judge in existence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the most selfish evil judge to ever exist to judge so harshly and so intensely that I have spiraled my own life out of control over and over in reaction to the very judgements that I made and I decided and I governed in myself and my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throw out actual living principles entirely, where if the goal is to win and I have already lost what is left to be done of my life and my self than to waste away until death, that's abuse.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself and others through my desire for power and control and greatness of which I cannot even site exactly where or when or how this came to be within me I just accept it and on some level want it, and on some level see how problematic it would be if I did have a massive amount of influence or money or power in the world due to this nature that is very clear within me I can see.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not strive to be my best, instead of being the best.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider striving to be the best is ego and not realistic or attainable and is what causes countries to go to war and causes all that is been created on earth and in existence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that to strive to be my best is the complete opposite of striving to be the best.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that I cannot be the best and be my best, I can only choose one, and they are completely opposite and only one is actually living the principles and makes sense and is feasible.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do the things that I see I must do given to me by example through every person I have met and been exposed to through process, not to claim their work and their intentions for my own self interest, but to stand together, and even to rival, to redefine what it is to be a rival.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define rival by hatred and anger and nastiness instead of by unconditional support a goal to be one's best self using other self's as reference a challenge that will go on for eternity.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use those who have came before me as support to drive me and motivate me and give me direction and purpose.
...
When and as I see myself going into a reaction as a state of competition where I see someone else as having defeated me, as having accomplished more and better than I can feasibly accomplish, I stop, I breathe, I realize that this is very core and central to all of my failings in my process, and is something that will rot away at me for the rest of my life, ensuring my demise, as a cancer I am willing and happily creating to destroy myself with out of total resentment and self hatred due to my own decision and my own judgement of who holds power and value in life, process, business, success, ect,
Thus, I commit myself to redefine how I live the word rival from emotional to unconditional support.
I commit myself to take on the challenge of how I can improve and be better of which I see in another person, not out of ego self interest but as to support me and them equals to refine ourselves and walk in an agreement of bettering ourselves to be our best strongest self.
I commit myself to strive to do the impossible of matching and equaling others in their process, in their business, in their living success not out of ego to defeat and to conquer, but out of principle, out of agreement, out of purpose.
No comments:
Post a Comment