Day 197- Energy Abuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the energy I need when I don't want to deal with others.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to shut down when I don't want to deal with other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself by creating relationships within myself which I refuse to stand by.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself when I have the energy to do an activity or responsibility but don't want to face any complicating factors like other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand unmoved when dealing with others as not letting myself be energetically altered in reaction to other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the way other people make me feel is actually how I make myself feel in reaction towards what I see within myself within others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand by myself as being responsible for myself and my energy despite whoever I'm with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be resentful towards others for making me feel a certain way when that's not how feelings actually come from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the strength as the energy I need to face my responsibilities the best I can as my own responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for affecting me taking my own self responsibility as directly being hanass and difficult towards myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sit around waiting for other people to lift me up and make my living easier as I realize only I can do that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect people to help me when they don't understand what I'm going through and I'm not communicating what I need help with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on the nurturing of others to make me stronger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self responsibility as nurturing myself regardless of what other's can or cannot do for me.

When and as i see myself feeling drained because I don't want to deal with others, I stop, I breathe, I realize I must take responsibility for myself regardless of other people who need to take responsibility for themselves as well, thusly, I commit myself to not depend on other people helping me through but instead support and nurture myself he best I can regardless of who I'm with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist my responsibilities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drain myself or energy so I can't as easily face my responsibilities and am more likely to drag my feet and be resentful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be resentful of my responsibilities when I realize they are for the best so it's best to face them the best I can.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put in half measures and not give myself the effort and energy I need to accomplish my responsibilities as a statement of disdain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put energy and effort into disdain what needs to be done when this makes things worse for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disdain myself for taking on so much responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to support myself and recognize myself for making the best decision I can in how much responsibility I take on in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not support myself because I don't want to do what's best for life I want what's best for my own self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself in the name of self interest which is clearly not in my best interest because i would not abuse myself and make my life difficult if I had valid concern or criticism I just want things to be some fantasy which things are not.

When and as I see myself not giving myself the energy I need to take on my daily responsibilities, I stop, I breathe, I realize I'm not making a statement about the ways the world is and how it's bad, I'm making a statement that I'm not worth living the change needed on earth, thusly, I commit myself to give myself the energy I need to complete my responsibilities as doing what's best for life, and I commit myself to support myself to make life better instead of being spiteful of what my life has become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drain my energy as exhaustion when I'm bored.

This is funny because for example when I'm at work and have lots to do I'm busy and am not tired, but when I have nothing to do at work or not much to do I get very exhausted and anxious.

So in this case my lack of energy comes from lack of something productive to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become drained of energy as being upset that I have nothing to do at work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being inactive at work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting in trouble for not finding a way to remain occupied at work like finding something to clean like the walls or something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to punish myself as draining my energy when I have nothing specific to be doing because I feel like I'm doing something bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad for not finding something productive to do at work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drain myself by going into fear possession for not having something to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my responsibilities at work is not enough to secure my value at work and I should be doing more.

When and as I see myself becoming bored at work, I stop, i breathe, I realize I'm bored out of anxiety and fear of not being occupied at work and then getting in trouble, thusly, I commit myself to not fear nit having enough to do as i realize what is required of me and act upon that, where If I can find some extra things to do that's good, but if not and im all caught up at work then I don't expect any more from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drain my energy when I am disappointed about dating girls.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an emotional state of giving up when faced with not having a girlfriend relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take care of myself because I define having a girlfriend as the only reason to take care of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself as depleting and suppressing my will to live and express myself because I don't have a girlfriend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose to give up because it's too painful to face not having a girlfriend to do things with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm myself by separating my fulfillment and completion as a person to having a girlfriend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I can be complete as myself and have a girlfriend without being any more or less of myself.

When and as I see myself becoming depressed that I don't have a girlfriend, I stop, I breathe, I realize a girlfriend does not complete me, thusly, I commit myself to be completed as who I am here as living with or without a girlfriend.

Something feels wrong with my skin.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to damage my body through substance abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider the long term affects of substance ingestion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care about the wellness of my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how substances affect the chemical structure of my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the consequences I've created for my body because I fear I won't be able to recover.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that working my body too hard will prevent me from recovering to a healthier state of being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear things getting worse for me before they get better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what improvements I've made in my life won't suffice in the long run.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up because things seem dire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up because things seem to be against me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distrust myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my body breaking down.

When and as I see myself breaking down in this way i feel within my skin, I stop, I breathe, I realize as long as I'm alive I can face the consequences I've made, thusly, I commit myself to face the consequences I've made instead of hiding behind despair.