Day 251- get it together

Investigate desteni.org

Always something preventing me from just getting it together, and sticking things out.

Always mentally maneuvering myself instead of just trusting myself and sticking things out.

Things keep coming back up until I get to the core of myself.

What's at my core?

Control

Con trolling

Trolling myself with con

Rolling over and letting the con distract me from myself

Not seeing me and my life as with it

Afraid to stand up

Afraid to be challenged

Not capable

Bound to fail

By the laws of the universe bound to failure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am bound by the laws of the universe that I will fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mistakes on the universe for not making life suitable for me to obtain my utmost potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my life up to the universe to take responsibility for me and my creation here on earth.

I forgive mysekf that I have accepted and allowed myself to make mistakes out of blame of fate as the universe to take responsibility for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dig mysekf into holes and respect to be helped out of what I've dug myself into as the consequences of my nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysekf to blame human nature on the universe where I have no power to create who i am and my life because i am bound by the laws of the universe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is an ultimate driving force of all of reality that had the ultimate and final say in everything so that I only have to scratch the surface because I believe to go any further is dictated by something beyond myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ingrain the belief that I am ultimately powerless when I look aroujd myself and see myself falling into and along with the system without any way to support or change myself and my nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to contiye to use the excuse that things are decided ultimately through divinity even once I found the answer I was looking for in self forgiveness and correction because in truth it was always me allowing myself to be dis empowered.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysekf to blame the universe for disempowered me where I supress the anger I feel towards myself for containing to make the decisions and inaction that leaves me stuck in the holes I dig for myself in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysekf to blame other's for standing in my way of reaching my ultimate potential where I allow others into my life to manipulate me where I have already allowed myself to be manipulated by manipulating myself where I never stood up and make something of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful or the condition required to make something of life as self forgiveness where i see myself as special and entitled to have had a better way to have realized my potential where there was very very small odds I ever could have done so without self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make demands of life where I'm not one and equal to meeting my own demands as facing my own demons.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to settle for being comforted where there is no comfort to be found in life on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not look at the patterns that make me and I consist of and apply myself to correct and forgive them because that's another system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysekf to blame the system for not coddle me and holding me and making sure that I get where I need to go in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be the system I want to see in the world out of ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall back on my ego when all else fails.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find all the answers I want and all the comfort I want in ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysekf to livr out my ego as who I am while still blaming the universe for where even my ego cannot transcend my living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to transcend living where I see myself as better then living and being life for myself as what is best one and equal out of anger that things have reached the boiling point they have come to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give under the pressure if the boiling point that life as become ad being under constant pressure and pain in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be narrow minded in looking at life at its boiling point of total fear and friction and contributing nothing but making it worse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my life be a part of the problem out of hatred.

When and as I see myself letting my ego drive me as giving into possession until it appears I've lost my opprituinuty to take action, I stop, I breathe, I realize that things will only get worse and more difficult the more I give into my mind, thus, I commit myself to take action and act where to act and live in forgiveness and correction is all that is require to resolve the problem on earth and to give into the mind will only make it harder until it is no longer possible from a physical standpoint and life must be resolved another way not on earth and not through living.

I wasn't prepared for this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that i wasn't prepared to realize what was required to make the most of my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysekf to be angry that I was only prepared to make the worst of everything as much as I could force my will and compromise the phsyical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I could look back at me who I am before this life that I would see how I prepared myself the way i was meant to be prepared, that I made decesions to be who I am beyond memory and beyond this life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the possibility of making myself and preparing myself in this life in a past life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the potential and suspected existence of a psst life creating and permitting into this life when it simply is irrelevant because I have the tools to unfold myself as me here in this life and no future or past life has any say in how I live and use the tools I have to optimize the chance of success of life becoming it's utmost potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set myself up to slip where even if i reached this point I am at now, there would still be pitfalls that would be ultimate god points as the system of government of human nature of abuse that would guarantee I could still fall even with all the tools needed to optimize the chance of success for life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear walking in real time facing the real consequences of reality where even with the tools needed reality as what human nature has created could destroy them as destroying anyone with the tools and potential to take action in any way and at any time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysekf to give in and give way and allowed myself to slip before the system of human design so I would not even have to try.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to an ultimate point of ultimate success where if I can't guarantee I'll make it in this world then I won't even try, and I'll let myself become the system trying to destroy myself.

When and as I see myself not trying because there's no guarantee anyone can walk things out to completion in real time in the physical, I stop, I breathe, I realize this life and all I've done is for me to face regardless of the odds of success, thus, I commit myself to try my best to keep pushing myself up the hill even though there will always be the chance I fall back down one way or another.

It's going to hurt, birthing pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to panic when the birthing pain kicks in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into fear when it's time to step up to the plate and put myself on the line.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see my mind as my creation as equal to the pain and discomfort I'm in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how I have created pain and discomfort within my body through my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my body for the pain and discomfort I'm in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear in the time in real time and application it will take to resolve pain created in the mind through living as the mind is without guarantee.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear causing more pain and discomfort in my body then I can stomach before sickness takes over and i lose the will to move myself through the pain and suffering felt by my body through my action and inaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being responsible for discovering the ultimate living potential of the human being and passing that on so that pain can be transcended over the generations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to transcend pain and discomfort in my lifetime.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let her pain and discomfort distract me from what I need to do where I'll go to any selfish length to stop the pain within me, but won't take any action to correct the creation of the pain but wait for doctors and scientists to all solve the pain for me where they are in the same pain as I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize transcending the pain and discomfort is to act and do what must be done regardless of the pain and discomfort of taking action and moving myself in my world through all the consequences as one and equal to the consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let pain and discomfort break me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I'm here and I'm equal to the pain created by human nature and that the pain will either guide me or break me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the human being deserves pain.

I forgive myself myself that I have accepted and allowed mysekf to justify the pain and suffering other's experience as not equal to me and my existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the actions I must take to stop pain and suffering in my world as being too difficult.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the true potential of life where I believe living beings deserve pain and suffering.

When and as I see myself standing down to pain and suffering, I stop, I breathe, I realize what I must do to take a stand as working with pain and suffering as best I can to take action despite lain and suffering, and to reduce pain and suffering as much as possible, thus, I commit myself to push myself to take action despite pain and suffering and to reduce pain and suffering through living and taking action as much as I can while I still can.