Day 261- what works in self forgiveness?

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I don't know what works in self forgiveness, and I don't know how it works, but it seems like it can do different things.

I don't know, i just keep picking at it, keep working on myself and just keep trying, I think it's the best thing out there, and the only thing that is relevant to the human condition.

I recently do self forgiveness like this; I say self forgiveness for something try to flesh it out get realizations, then do a correction so that I can change through a correction statement, then depending on the type of thing I'm forgiving if it's needing me to change something directly then I do that, or needing me to make some small changes like where I need to directly take responsability then I do that, but for some things I mostly just let it play out and if it plays out natrually and improve them that's good.

So for a direct example is my words, where I need to keep improving how I use my words, because I say things under my breathe, and I don't have the best consideration when I speak that I'd like to, so that's a direct example where I directly would then need to be making sure I don't speak things I don't want to be speaking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my words where I believe I can only speak from where im at within myself, where if I'm angry beyond being able to be diciplined in my words then I cannot help speaking out of anger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not fight my anger where I see its better to be in extreme conflict then to speak out of anger towards myself or anyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other's when
I say I'm beyond fighting myself to not speak my mind, 'it's your fault I've fallen to speaking my mind instead of speaking the words I'd like to speak.'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other's where I don't want to face how difficult it is to manage my words where I'm being accountable for everything single word I speak and everything that comes with the ramifications.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how I talk myself into holes where I can see im unaccountable for what im saying but can't tell where I went wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to the past where I wouldn't even have been able to have any idea of how to be accountable for what the words I say represent and how I need to be sure I'm speaking from myself not from a point of emotion or feeling, where I know what this means to me now and i know what I need to do, and now it's just a matter of figuring out how to keep improving it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myseld to not try with every time I speak to speak the best I can, where even if I don't think I can get it perfect doesn't mean I should just give up because it is too hard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tolerate giving up on trying to speak my words the best I can when I'm under pressure and see myself starting to falter as I realizr that's the time I change and develop myself and imrpove where I get overtaken in my words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up when I falter in my words where of course I'm going to faulter it's deciding to keep trying even when or after I've faulter that I can develop who I am as my words and how I learn to best speak my words.

When and as I see that I am at risk of filtering or have already filtered, I stop, I breathe, i realize in these moments where I am about to falter or have already filtered within best speaking my words is the most important Tim to not give up, thus, I commit myself to no matter how far I falter or how close I am to filtering to never give up on trying to best speak my words from myself and not from emotions and feelings and my mind where I know how to do this I just need to keep developing it and keep using moments of pressure as the best opportunities to improve.

That's a very direct example, my words cannot just come spilling out of my mouth unless I'm sedated right before or after surgery where you sat something and don't remember saying it, so that's me directly something I need to directly be in charge of.

Then for something that the direct moment is just the self forgiveness and correction and then the rest I just see if it works and then try again if it doesn't or keep improving I'd I want better results I have to think of something for that example.

So something I just let play out and see if it works.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get dragged down worrying about things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about things where I don't know what the right things to do is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about things where I can't help myself worrying I just have to figure out what I need to do somehow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up in the state of worry where I don't know what I need to do or what the right thing to do is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel victimized where I don't feel like I have the skills or training to know what I need to do or what is the best decesion in certain circumstances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be stubborn where I could put the effort to figure out what the best decesion to make is but don't want to figure things out.

I fortvie myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about things instead of just figuring out what I need to do and doing it.

When and as I see myself worrying about something, I stop, I breathe, I realize that instead of worrying I should just figure out what I need to do and stop victimizing myself, thus, I commit myself to figure out what needs to be done and do it when I see myself worrying, and to stop giving up and going into victimization as worry by letting go of the idea that im a victim who needs to worry about things.

Not that flushed out and actually has two parts, making the decesion or what i need to do instead of worrying and victimizing myself is direct, I directly need to figure out what needs to be done, but to stop giving into the worry itself as victimization comes with stopping myself and breathing which can be something that can just occur naturally without even thinking in a single breathe, or it might take a little effort where I need to snap myself out of the possession with a little more effort, but still has that potential element of natrually seeing what happens and just letting the statement play out on there own in some ways, but I'd still want to make an even better example of where I just let go and see how things play out.