Day 320- playing at work

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I hate my current relationship to playing at work.

I get too reckless and inconsiderate when I play with others at work.

I try to impress too much.

Then when I'm by myself at work and not directly interacting with or working with someone else I'm not living the word play at all, I see myself only living the word play in relationship to other's when other's are around me.

Some things have come up, and I'm going to take a stab at just cutting play out of my work, it keeps leading to the same exact consquences over and over and I don't even play when I'm alone I'm doing self forgiveness or singing to myself or sometimes.

What I realized though is that even if I just tone down how much I play at work by a lot I'll always be living the word play it's a part of my expression I think.

I'd just like to tone it down a lot and look at some other words and priorities to live and also cut the personality element out somehow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the word play for other's not really coming from what I'd like to give to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at other's for not appreciating how I live the word play for them where I see I also do live it for myself too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the word play in relationship to other's because I don't actually want to work with others and rather keep to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the word play in relationship to other's as an expression of not caring at all about my relationship to other's.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to default on living play with others as my main word at work where I don't know why I even live this word and am starting to accept it's more of a personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify even potentially letting a total personality direct me at work where I'm at work all the time that stuff adds up really fast.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to change my interactions and what I'm expressing at work and facing resistance from others for changing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I can't stay the way I am in relationship to playing around at work either without facing resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to tell which character best holds up to protecting my job security and relationships at work.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to recognize that at the center of keeping my jobs and managing my jobs is just coming in and doing the work that is required.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to concern myself with creating relationships beyond immidetely taking care of the work that need to be done when it's leading to complications.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let complications come up at work where all that really matters that I must focus on to maintain my job first and foremost Is getting the work done.

When and as I see myself going into my play personality at work, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I can live and express play but should for my own benefit and stability of myself and other's make sure that I'm getting my work done, thus, I commit myself to focus getting my work done over playing around with others.

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up on playing all together when I don't even know how that would be possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear completely abdanoing the word play at work where to take it that far would be reaching a point of supression and would not really be stopping.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate and trust that play will always be a part of work for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that appreciating and living other words in realitionship to work doesn't mean I forget or give up on having fun at work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to balance all these words where if done best it is just a natraul flowing part of my expression which I shouldn't even have to think about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live solitude in relationship to work where I can step away from all my problems outside of work and just be alone with my movement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to how I live the word play create problems for myself at work where then there's no where to run at that point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create unnecessarily conflict at work through how I live the word play.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysekf to blame other's for his they respond to how I live the word play as not being my fault.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see in common sense when I am responding to other's responded to me I'm literally creating my own problems externally through this frustration like 'fuck it I'm going to be super expressive becuase I'm so pent up I don't care what happens anymore.'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live play at work to supress how pent up I am at work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to supress hoenpent up I am as if I am not able to just stop being pent up directly instead of indirectly doing so through living the word play.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a state of supression as playfulness instead of just pushing through end dealing with my internal conflict directly.

When and as I see myself supressing how pent up I am at work through playfulness, I stop, I breathe, I realize that my playfulness is compromising bevsier of the place I can see it is clearly been coming from, thus, I commit myself to play to express myself not to supress how pent up I am.

I commit myself to up end myself at work and uprooting myself from my pent up ness.

I commit myself to live the word freedom in realationship to work where I have 3 jobs and don't even need more then 1 and so in reality if I just go in and do the work I need to nothing else matters at all as far as I need to be concerned.