Day 321- imagining tomorrow

I look at this picture and I get it... It's a utopia tomorrow land and that's cool, I see that I got it, but to get there first thing I need to do is stabilize myself walk myself out that's going to take many years or my whole life, so the point is I see this picture but instead of going into fantasy and experience about it I'm just seeing it a a refrence like to get there I need to start with myself and that's going to take a lot of work, but I'm here I'm clearlry doing it I trust myself to keep doing it, so I just then continue, the only way to get to that utpoia is to just keep breathing and moving and you just gotta keep going which actually does start to make me feel a little something but still creates a good outline for the picture as a refrence to just keep moving to achieve something takes time and real movement.

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I imagine the farthest future where earth is a utopia and everything is cool.

Then I imagine Tomorrow which I will be around to live for and it's not cool.

I don't need to imagine tomrrow sucking, becuase I've consitently proven every day is going to suck until I don't know how long I just have so many things moving within me that always catch up to me.

So either way, the future of the farthest future where I won't be around, or the future tomrrow where I'll be there and I know what will happen tomorrow, I can't game the system, certain things simply will happen, frustration, anger, judgement, lostness, thoughts, backchats, pain.

Certain things simply will happen in my future, without having to be a psychic for me to say what the future holds for everyone.

Or maybe I could say I'm a psychic, and I'd say Tomorrow something will catch up to you, something will get you emotional will upset you. In my near future, in everyone's near future something is going to suck Tomorrow, I'm going to make some problems for myself and so is everyone else.

I'm going to really makes some problems for myself tommrow actually... Then I say that and I get a little scared... Like... What's going to happen??? But what I mean is every day I know tomorrow is going to have some problems, and then they happen and I forget, like, wow I knew there'd be soemthing today... But this I was not prepared for.

So I'm saying to myself, be prepared, because I don't know a day I can remember where I wasn't surprised at the degree of problems and instability I manage to create, so I commit myself to stop being so suprised and to get the picture of my nature through to me for once.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fantasise about the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play no role in the creation of the future within fantasising about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fantasise about how beautiful the future will be where within this I'm not actually creating that future just sitting back like 'the future will be fine so I don't need to do anything'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how easily influenced my ideas about the future is where when I was listening to Alex Jones I thought the world was about to go to war at any moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that the future I imagine of utopia wants me to create it, I want to forgive myself and prepare myself to be what's needed to create the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fantasise about what the future will look like one day where I'm getting billions of breathes ahead of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the consequences of getting one breathe ahead of myself but not consider the consequences of getting billions of breathes ahead of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get so many breathes ahead of myself that it's impossible to count.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a fantasy of the future within my tiredness to justify dragging myself day in and out through tiredness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fantasise about the future where I fear seeing who I'll actually be and create for the future of the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about what the future holds at all where I need to focus on the practical and the self movement and the self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live even a single breathe ahead of myself where I don't like where I am but am predicting one day I will like where I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not create who I'd like to be right now in the present moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear all the challenges I have to face in the future where if they're in the future then the best way to prepare is here breathe by breathr and then deal with the problem when I get there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always be pushing for the future when I need to slow down and get real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be all about tomorrow instead of moving myself into Tomorrow breathe by breathe being aware of every breathe it will take to reach tomorrow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine tomrrow as being boring.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine tomrrow as being scary.

When and as I see myself creating ideas about the future weither tomorrow or a thousand years, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I create tomrrow right now and my mind just wants to get ahead and try to control everything but really I personally know that nothing that could happen tomrrow would change what I need to do with myself breathe by breathe, thus, I commit myself to create the future in movement in time and space not in my ideas and trying to grasp the future before it's here.