Work
I write about work a lot, but yesterday's point of being willing to return to and expand on points makes me want to write about work more.
Not friends, not going out, not games, but work, work is the center piece of my life right now, and as much as I will do other activities, work is such a big part of my life that I want to keep working on work.
Working on who I am at work, who I am in relationship to work, what do I think about work, what does work mean to me.
Just sitting down to write about work is comforting, because it makes me feel like I am beginning to address some of my problems about work, just by confronting them by addressing that I have a problem with work.
What can I gain from work?
Strength, work ethic, social skills, money.
Work can be a good time, where I enjoy myself, and still do a good job.
Why wouldn't I have it that way?
When I identify as wanting to do other things than go to work, and do not have my entire heart and mind set on work, I build up a wall of resistance, I see what must be done, and how I could enjoy myself, but I fight within myself out of spite, blaming the system for sending me to work, when I might want something else with my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make work harder on me, when I want to deal with or be somewhere else other than the task at hand.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into work with worries about other issues on my mind, when there is nothing to be done about these issues from the position of work, I am just bombarding myself with unneeded conflict, when I am trying to work.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to sleep more instead of going into work.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my energy level affect my ability to go to work and decide to do a good job to maintain an income for myself to survive off.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as subservient because I have to go to work to survive.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize how I experience myself as subservient to going to work and doing certain tasks at work is my own feeling/ relationship to work.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that anyone or anything else can make me feel subservient as any less that having the free will to do whatever it is I will in each moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to relate myself to a fictional dream where everything is as I'd like it to be and perfect and I don't have to work.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize my imagination is counter productive, when I could always imagine myself in a better position than I am, so it doesn't mean anything, and I should not be fueling these fictions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want attention at work, where I want to talk, and work with someone, but work is responsibi
lity fist so I cannot always have those things.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to have someone to talk to and give me attention at work, where sometimes you just have to do your job in silence and get things done, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as needing to talk to someone and have attention brought on me at work, where I know I can handle myself alone if needed and don't need this desire which I am not even comfortable with.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be comfortable with wanting attention at work, where I either deal with it, or I will be stuck with such feelings that distract me from accomplishing my personal and work goals.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not align my personal goals with my work goals, where I must be at work, but I can still work on myself on each breathe in self as awareness as learning what I must do for myself as life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take myself into consideration first at work, where I can only live what I am living equally, as giving myself what is required at work in each breathe in how I express internally and how I move.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be anxious during my down time at work when I am afraid of looking poor when I do not have something to be doing at work.
I commit myself to stop, breathe, when and as I see myself falling in anyway within myself at work, as I realize work as a time to relax and enjoy myself, as my only obligation at work is to myself.
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