Thursday, October 6, 2016

Day 255- slowing down to ask questions


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My mind is always running, and I spend all this energy in my mind all day long.

And I have an idea, my mind is running with all this energy, and thoughts, and things.

Yet, I never slow down, and just ask myself, am I ok? What's going on with me? What's troubling me? Why do I feel this way? What can I do that will help me? What am i missing within myself?

Why do I run my mental programs all day long, yet never within my day ask me how am I doing? How did I get here? What's happening to me?

I just keep pushing through my mind, I keep pushing myself through my mind, 'just keep going everything is fine just keep going'

I'll find myself stressed out, anxious, bent out of shape, and won't know what the problem is until it's built up so much that I become upset and it hits me all at once.

I could have just slowed down, seen that a problem was brewing, identified it, if I just asked myself what am I creating?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysekf to keep putting pressure on myself keep pushing through the stress, without asking why am I creating this stress?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not slow down and ask myself questions about what I'm doing and what going on throughout my day, where I get home and I'm burnt, and don't know why because I just pushed myself through it all day without slowing down to investigate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push myself like I'll mskr it if I keep pushing, without asking what I'm pushing myself to? How will pushing my self through my problems help if I don't know what my problem is? Where the stress that I push through is coming from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing where my problems is coming from but that i just want to get home, to get to bed, where then maybe being at work has to do with the stress if I see being home as a place where I'm more comfortable where less problems exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not slow down and ask why am I doing things this way, why am I making this choice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not slow down and ask do things really need to be this way?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not asking questions about how I'm creating my life, about what's really happening in my life where I justify that I act without question, but why not question myself?

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to view myself as being above questioning of a higher caliber then needing to answer for my actio
ns.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my actions and how I take them as divine and without need for question.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act on energy and ego where if I'm the only one who can hold myself accountable, then if I don't do that, don't ask questions don't lay attention, then i can do whatever I'd like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I know what I like and can act on what I like without question when I don't ask myself what I like it's just a program what I learnt that I like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pay attention to all the energy moving within my mind, wonder where it's going what is it doing, without looking to myself seeing how it starts with me and asking myself why I do it?

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify that this is who I am and this is what I do without question.

When and as I see myself upset, moved, discontent, I stop, I breathe, I realize I don't know why i am feeling this way when I experience myself in a bad way but don't know why, thus, I commit myself to slow down when I'm feeling off, bad, rushed, and ask myself in a breathe, what is wrong? Ask myself in a breathe what did I do to make things this way? Ask myself in a breathe, how can I correct my problems? Ask myself in a breathe why am I the way I am?

I commit myself to develop this good habit and apply it regularly through my day where I take s moment, not matter what I'm doing, to slow down and ask myself questions about myself, how I feel, what I'm doing, why I'm doing it.

So all these moments of stress through the day aren't just the way I am, but I'm seeing and asking why I'm stressed, why I feel the way I do.

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