Day 401- Street Fighter 6

 I don't have the hardware of the computer, or the Xbox or PlayStation that could handle such a game, but this game was released recently and has caught my attention quite a bit. 

I had just gotten to the point where I was done playing my card game and regaining my focus in my life/business/process/career/family and then this game was released and although I cannot play it myself I have been watching other people play it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get invested in another video game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to buy the hardware needed to play this specific video game due to the high computer power needed for it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become interested in another game instead of wholly and totally committing my time and energy to my process has I have been just on the brink of recently being totally focused on process and nothing else but my work and relationship every day. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be self honest that to have fallen so much into video games and distractions and falling in different ways in my process has shown that I was not as close to this goal of total application and discipline as I had imagined and projected myself as being. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complicate my process with such force and energy and strictness that I don't simply pace myself reasonably to allow myself to briefly watch people play street fighter between bouts of getting work and process and responsibilities done each day. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to trap myself in this all or nothing mentality where I am either totally discipline and never falling to habits or distractions that I inevitably fall into habits and distractions by placing such rigidness and judgment and force over my relation to perfection and discipline and pride of being great and flawless. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not focus on my career, income, relationships, process and simply accept that when I have pushed myself to a certain degree often times I feel energetically as if I have hit a wall and moving to try to force myself against that resistance is different than transcending the resistance so there isn't necessarily anything to gain from forcing myself and depriving myself from having a moment of rest and relief after working and applying myself sufficiently in a day. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge watching people play street fighter as bad as selfish as wasteful and not effective time  use as abuse, when it could be supportive to take a brief break after working hard more so to pace myself out and ultimately come out further in the long run then running myself down without enjoying an occasional hobby or time to reset my engine. 

When and as I see myself as judging myself as bad if I stop applying myself as hard and forcedly as possible in my process, I stop, I breathe, I realize that taking a break to do something that always me to tune out a little and have some breathing room to step back for a moment can theoretically be useful and judging anything I am doing as good or bad will just result in some kind of energetic ego conflict complications some how, thus, I commit myself to utilize something like watching people play street fighter as a good break where I am not compelled to pour hours of time into it as HearthStone but am invested enough that I enjoy it as a kind of hobby to be involved with as a means of taking a reasonable break throughout the day.