309- breathing awareness

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The way that I'm thinking about awareness in breathing is that it's discovered in self forgiveness.

The way I see it is that I should be aware of my breathing, to be directive in moving equal to my breathing.

When I would try to be aware of my breathing in forcing myself to breathe, trying to force awareness force myself to be directive in each breathe, to slow thing down, the opposite happened and my breathing awareness got very mental.

Now how I see it is that the effort the force that I need to bring to each breathe is through self forgiveness.

It should just be natural no mental influence, just a natural flow who I am within it, just expressing myself in and out.

I thinking breathe awareness would help me all around, I feel like I've already spent a few years developing it, in a trouble shooting kind of way with how I used to breathe and now can maybe settle it in more with self forgiveness.

If I look at my breathing right now, I feel very compressed, like I need to loosen up and just let myself breathe naturally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compress myself in each breathe trying to control myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let go in each breathe and let everything run it's course naturally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to control everything in each breathe where I need to let my self forgiveness just stand on it's own and just let everything play out naturally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to just let myself breathe natrually.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not assert myself as my breathe.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be firm with myself as my breathe, this is who I am and how I express myself as a breathing person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be distracted by all the non sense that comes up within me in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my breathe where I let my energetic feelings take over and control me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel nervous that I can't control my breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not slow down without thinking but just as a self expression when I see that I'm moving too fast in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how I can be aware of breathing as a self expression where I just move myself into a slower breathing pace in awareness of my breathe without thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put so much energy in trying to be directive and aware in my breathing.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I don't need to put any energy from my mind into breathing on a conscience level because breathing is natural and happens even in my sleep.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I need to forgive the systems that are preventing me from naturally breathing in self awareness as nervousness and stress and anxiety all suppressing my natural comfortable breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my nervousness suppress my breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my stress supress my breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be direct within my breathing where I cut through everything and just breathe and center myself in my breathing.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize in my breathing I can cut through everything and establish myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself wander in my mind instead of wander here in my breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my breathing for wandering.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being empty in breathing without going into my mind to wander.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to wander in my mind instead of establish myself here and wander here as myself in for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into tiredness as being too overwhelmed to be aware within my breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my breathing not establish myself here because it would take effort.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize in breathing here wihtout the mental energy it's more effortless to breathe where currently it takes effort to breathe because of all the stress and anxieties and things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare how I breathe now to how I would breathe if I was breathing in self awareness where I know that I wouldn't be putting in as much energy as I am now because I'd be doing it as a natrual expression of myself.

When and as I see myself wandering around in my mind insetad of asserting myself here as wandering within my living and breathing in each breathe, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I don't need to put all this energy in wandering in my mind where the real wandering and the real exploration of reality is here breathe by breathe, thus, I commit myself to bring awarness to each breathe so that I can wander in real actions and movement and real decesions for real and not endlessly come up with ideas and thoughts and feelings in my mind that just fizzle out and don't amount to anything.