Day 423- Star part 10, Cold Play- Yellow

https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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AI: 
The Star of Bethlehem is a celestial event that appears in the Gospel of Matthew in the Bible, signaling the birth of Jesus and guiding the Three Wise Men to his birthplace.

My words are now yellow after copying and pasting this summary from AI about the Star of Bethlehem. I do not know how to make my words not appear as yellow or why they have become yellow. But they are yellow like a star.

I was titling this post about the Star of Bethlehem because I looked up why there is a star at the top of Christmas trees and then found out it's due to the belief of the star regarding Jesus birth and wise people finding him in the bible.

Now that my words are all yellow, it made me want to actually shift gears. Because I thought that's suitable since stars are yellow. But they aren't really yellow, and I remembered the Cold Play song Yellow where he claims the stars are all yellow. But then I saw a interview with the musician once where he said he knew the stars were not actually yellow and was just messing around in the studio or somewhere with the idea and it was more of a jest to make a song out of something like the stars being yellow. 

So, now I am going to listen to that Cold Play song and write about it in yellow. 

I could not finish the song, because I was so not enjoying it. 

I did not like how everything was being referred to as being Yellow. 

I did not like the guitar or instruments. 

I did not like the British man's accent singing the song.

I don't think I'm in a mood to be listening to this song. 

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry that the stars were being referred to as being yellow when they do not actually appear as yellow in the sky. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an intense uncomfortable reaction to the song about stars being yellow.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that my words as I am writing are appearing as yellow.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame the color yellow as being bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at the color yellow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of the color yellow as piss and only being good as piss and having no value as not even actually being the color of a star.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irrationally upset about the color yellow coming into my life as I am trying to write about stars which are not in fact yellow when they are appearing from the sky to be more white than any yellow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge a color on the color spectrum as being less than any other color simply because I cannot see where it is relevant to my life at the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use yellow to take out my anger and frustration instead of getting to the bottom of my relationship to it and redefining the word yellow for myself and changing my relationship and equality stand with yellow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that every color needs to equally have some great value and be prevalent in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an opinion about the color yellow.

When and as I see myself becoming angry when I see the color yellow, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I am creating bizarre and unnecessary opinions and reactions and relationships to a color, which does not owe me to be the color of a star or banana or anything even piss, thus, I commit myself to stop demanding within myself that yellow have some greater purpose or that it is bringing my quality of life down due to it's exsistence. 

Day 422- Star day 9, star fantasy

 https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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My most likely longest series I have written has been regarding the point of the star.

I initially had intended to write this series as a secret surprise for a friend.

I revealed the secret to them, which was not supposed to take place for an entire year.

So, now my secret project is blown, and it has been insisted that now more than ever that I should continue my work on the star project. 

...

The great beyond.

The greatest fantasy.

I found this picture above by searching star fantasy on google, then I found out it was AI generated, haha. 

Pivoting from my star secret being revealed, this specific point arising of the star fantasy is actually where the word star and my relationship to it is actually the most important. 

It is through the word star that I actually can see back into my past, where my mind consciousness had the greatest control over me.

Because of images like the one I added onto this page of a beautiful galaxy and fantasy planets and environment.

Fantasy had me by the balls when I was young. Fantasy was the reason for existing. But, fantasy only really had that punch and could even seem remotely real or tangible through pictures.

Fantasy of sci fi and space and the wonder of the galaxy, but all only really known through pictures on a computer screen.

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create huge eruptive reactions towards fantasy pictures of the galaxy and space and strs.

I forgive myself that  I have accepted and allowed myself to have given up all right to life to live as a fantasy projected out into outer space in pictures of the fantasy of unknown thriving alive planets and stars in pictures drawn by people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have turn the stars into a point of fantasy of great reaction and energy in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have corrupted my relation to the stars and galaxies that are really out there by making them into fantasy in my mind through media and movies and fantastical pictures and images.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not considered life as value as one and equal when I as a young child was ready to give up everything of myself to have this experience of myself out in the stars in these pictures I would find of planets and stars exaggerated in art online.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have killed off the part of myself that were capable of actually creating a life of fantasy for all living beings to go to the stars where I wanted to be in the stars just in my mind just in my own secret escape.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have traded my childhood to consciousness fantasy leaving me in a state of projection way out in the stars and not actually living and facing reality.

When and as I see myself looking at a fantasy picture of stars, or galaxies, or science fiction images, and going into a longing and a deep reaction and wanting it to be real more than anything else, I stop, I breathe, I realize that when I was a young person a part of me know something was wrong and something was missing on a very deep level and so I corrected this off and wrongness through consciousness and through projecting onto images I was finding on the internet, and now I realize that I was just creating friction between two points, as the point of dullness and emptiness to the lives we live in this system, contracted with great images and reactions in the mind as the high to contract the low, thus, I commit myself to live in-between as where reality exist not as a polarity, and I commit myself to create a life for all on earth best that we could one day go to the stars together as all of life equally and not just for a few people with money to escape into the idea of stars as fantasy.

Day 421- Star part 8, Babylon part 1

 https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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Babylon movie:

The 2022 film Babylon is about the rise and fall of several ambitious characters in 1920s Hollywood during the transition from silent films to sound films

Babel: The Tower of Babel is an origin myth and parable in the Book of Genesis meant to explain the existence of different languages and cultures.


I watched Babylon the movie with some other Techno Tutor distributors the other night.

We had a lot of fun and I was supported a lot about building a business with Techno Tutor. 

We watched the movie babylon which was about big parties and an earlier time in hollywood so had a lot to do with 'stars', the star of the show, the star of the movie, the star of the party, and it was all meta because this was a movie with movie stars about movies with movie stars. 

Although I'm not clear if the words are directly related in their history and etymology it made me think of babel. Where man was trying to reach the sky (stars/heavens) and then in the story god messed up their languages so that they could not communicate to finish the project.

So, Techno Tutor is the actual tool to allow everyone to speak the same language and speak effectively and speak as equals so that we can build heaven on earth, or a 'tower to the stars'.

I might pause on this movie and all that is coming from it, especially since I have not really notably sat down and watched a movie for maybe over a year/around a year from as I recall.

...

The first thing that really struck me about the movie was the nudity that was presented in it.

I have written in my process extensively about my relationship to women and the naked female form and make effort to not pursue/seek for images of naked women on the internet. 

I assumed going into the movie that such images would have a degree of prevalence given the plot and what the movie was showcasing and it's mature themes. 

I was with other distributors for Techno Tutor/others walking the Desteni process so I was comfortable knowing that I would be going into seeing some images I would have reactions towards. 

The images of the women in the movie who were partying and exposing themselves completely in the nude, did cause me some degree of a very deep visceral reaction/shift/unease within myself.

I'm realizing how versatile the word star is and what it really represent, where star can almost be used ubiquitous with life itself.

In knowing I wanted to take my watching of this movie back to my blog, I was considering how many dimensions of the movie I could trace back to the word star beyond the obvious of movie stars.

My reaction to seeing the women's exposed bodies while watching the movie, brought me to consider a couple interesting things.

The actual body, the human body is emitting, life emits, life radiates just like a star, even though on the direct surface you just see the flat of the skin like dirt or soil, but in fact we are resonating and vibrating and whatever accurate scientific term for the emissions we are giving off.

So to see these women exposed in the movie completely is like seeing and downloading the entire emission radiating from a star. 

Then the attraction/drive that I experience towards the women is like me as a star myself wanting to create a new star with that star to make a human baby as a birthing of a star from two stars coming together. 

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand as equal as a star equally emitting when I see think of or experience a women emitting herself as her total physicality as a star.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into separation from women emitting as stars when I see their bodies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want women as wanting the star they are for myself to consume and doing so through creating a blackhole vacuum to suck in the star as my mind as my consciousness as my separation from living best in equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want women as their star as their emission as a radiating star for myself to be consumed and controlled into me as a black hole destroying myself and them out of spite out of fear and out of separation from me being equal to women as a star as me and star as them creating the best of ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have reacted to women and reacted to their physical human bodies due to never being educated about who I am and who a women is and so only creating mind imagination based on preexisting separation I was already become in the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to consume the shine that I see when I look at what a women is putting off as her very core radiating exsistence as a star in this physical world. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not communicated with women as equals as I am a star and they are and we can both stand together and create as equals so instead going into reactions and compromise within myself and so never actually knowing myself or women as stars as equals but living as a black hole destroying myself and my star potential along with theirs never knowing them nor knowing myself.

When and as I see myself going into separation and so becoming a black hole attempting to consume myself and a women as my and her star potential before it can be birthed as the physical, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I have the potential to become a star that is living and emitting as myself what is best for life just as a women does, thus, I commit myself to communicate with women and create an equally supportive communication and relation to them to support myself and them as equals to becoming stars as life where at the moment we are not and are in fact black holes sucking out all of the life potential from ourselves and each other every moment.

Star

I redefine star as that which is life that emits and radiates itself as giving as life gives.

I redefine human beings as stars which are emitting and creating and resonating themselves at all time and which have the potential to either create and express themselves as life as what is best for life or to become black holes that consume themselves and their star potential before it can be birthed as the physical.

Day 420- Star part 7

 https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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"a conventional or stylized representation of a star, typically one having five or more points."

I realized today that I actually have a star on my back. 

It's funny in writing about the star for a few days that it's only occurring to me that I have a star tattoo. 

I was driving and looking at the carl's jr restaurant which advertises itself with a logo of a smiling star. 

I have the Baphomet sigil on my back which is the upside down version of the regular conventional Carl's Jr logo.

There was a specific reason I got this tattoo of the satanic star

I got the Satanic upside down star during a time where I was having severe revenge of the ego, and was having some mental issues/mental distortions. 

I saw the Satanic star two times. Which is not a usual thing for me to physically see something from my mind projected on the physical/ potentially see something very deep that is not the normal things you see with your eyeballs.

I saw the star right before I was becoming a Techno Tutor distributor as someone was talking to me on the phone relating to becoming a distributor, and at the time I experienced it like they were showing me a part of myself, that they were showing me this part of myself which were represented in the satanic star, and then another expression of myself which was really nice and I liked, I didn't like the expression that I saw from the satanic star.

I saw the Satanic star, a second time, where I from the first time I saw it, saw that I was being warned from a part of myself not to go that direction or that there were two different courses of which I could go in my life and that one was this not great direction and the other was really great. Through many decisions I made and due to instability I was struggling with in my mind I went down a path of a lot of abuse and violence and it was during a violent altercation with my ex wife that I saw this star more vivid than ever surrounding her head like an aura, and I saw this physically with my eyes. 

So, after seeing it the second time over around close to a couple years even from seeing it the first time, I remembered seeing it and the warning and realized that I had chose the path of what this symbol within me represent.

.....

So, time to clean it up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that going down the path that I did, because it happened, showed that the path in life which the satanic star represent was the path that I was always going to take as it was always within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to panic when seeing that this evil was within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have walked a path of evil when I wish that I had chose the path which was not represented by this symbol of the inverted star but a path that was more like a cool soothing ocean.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for walking a path of evil where I was abusive and being abused in a partnership with my ex wife.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made ideas and projections about this path that I have walked and the tattoo that I have got to cement the symbol and the memories so that they are not forgotten.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not forgive myself for the evil that I have embodied and realized has been in myself for an unknown amount of time.

Day 420, it's funny that weed played a big role in the path of evil, the path of satanic that I have walked as abuse of myself and my partner and using marijuana creating instability in my mind body being relationship. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk a path of evil by smoking marijuana.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk a satanic path due to smoking marijuana.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged the satanic panic and the relationship to marijuana as a joke or as stupid and yet I have seen how big a role Marijuana played in my disruption from process from success in life and being my best self. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not utilize my star of Satan tattoo as a point of reference as a point of correction as a point of reminder of where I have been and the worst of myself I have seen and why self forgiveness is and always will be required of me to walk every day. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not even considered that the sigil of Baphomet is actually a star and I saw who I am as birthing myself as the star of Satan as the star of evil, as the star of my own abuse and separation and annihilation.

When and as I see myself fearing the sigil of Baphomet and remembering my abuse and my evil that I endured at the hands of others and acted upon directly myself, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I have this inverted star on my back as a reminder so that I always come back to process and self forgiveness and changing myself in this lifetime as I have seen without a doubt the deepest depravity of abuse that I have walked as victim and as perpetrator in this life, thus, I commit myself to look at my tattoo of the inverted star on my back as a reminder and to bring everything back to process as I have sealed on my back the absolute wickedness of the mind as what I have created and allowed as consciousness as separation as abuse as evil.

I commit myself to forgive myself and correct myself of the evil I have lived in this lifetime. 

Day 419- Star part 6

 https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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Star is close to start.

You cross like a t a star as a starting point.

When I found process through You tube listening to Bernard, that was my star and so that was where I identified my starting point.

I identified then many other Destonians as different dimensions and starting points, and that although Bernard was the primary star there was many references and that it was an entire constellation of stars as different Destonians clearly visibly walking their process. 

start. 

I have started my process in different calibers and different dimensions, and then have stopped.

I use to blog a lot more frequently and saw it as the pinnacle of what process was.  

I started and then I stopped. When I really stopped was when I judged myself as seeing myself as a star simply for writing an 'online journal', and so I had found other Destonians walking a different path of process I never knew before. 

I judged what I had walked as insignificant, I judged my journal as poor, foolish, naive. 

Now I have begun reigniting that point that I had found and started, now at this moment I am walking multiple dimensions of 'process'.

I have heard some people regard process as being one thing, and some as process being another thing. 

I have started every single facet of process which I could identify thus far, spoken to many different Destonians and people involved in process. Consumed many different pieces from the material from Desteni.

I see that I have identified and started in some capacity anything I could consider being the pinnacle of process. 

Even being in an agreement/relationship is an aspect of process which I had seen through to it's bitter completion over the course of many years. Actually potentially a great departure for both parties, but that's only for time to tell.

So, I have started a many different aspect and dimension of process.

So, a real star, someone hellbent on birthing themselves as a star best for all of life, regarding all within it's nature of oneness and equality, a star like that would shine with everything considered, and see it all through till my last breath. 

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start and not finish my blogging out of judgement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sidetracked starting a process of developing a relationship to breathing and in so abandoning my self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have started breathing and living words and writing self forgiveness and yet stopping being engaged and finishing to completion all of these process when I became enamored in a relationship with a women over the course of many years. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start a process using Techno Tutor and then abandon the things that I had developed and started in regarding other aspects and relationships in my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have started using Techno Tutor and seeing it as an aspect missing in my process and then have stopped and given up on it resuming with other endeavors. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have begun as started a process with living words and then judged it as something I could not figure out nor understand and so go into a state of lacking of word lacking of defining and refining myself and my reality as the words I am actually living and expressing. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have started forming relationships and getting to know the other Destonians and then stopped when I became a Techno Tutor distributor going into hostility and reaction to them for not having started an aspect of process which I deemed as invaluable and undeniable. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have begun Desteni I process only to have stopped and not seen it through even when having switched to different buddies or looked into different means of either paying for or getting a grant through writing blogs. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to begun as start a process with exercise needing to improve my health and my relationship with my body so that I could succeed in all facets of process by having an optimal managed relation to my body and the physical yet stopped when my prior relation found that she was not as enthuastic about exercising for herself and so I stopped a vital process within myself to appease this relationship that made it difficult to exercise as an agreement. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have stopped working at certain junctions in my process despite seeing that upon starting to work and how I was able to afford certain physical requirements in process like DIP pro, Techno Tutor, or EQAFE and other ventures I was supporting within moving reality to a position of being corrected through process through changing the system, yet I went into overwhelming that it was so hard and so difficult and so beyond what I realized that process would not always come easy if ever. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for shortcuts and go into denial of building a Techno Tutor business being the most difficult aspect of process that I had encountered to this day going into total and absolute revenge of the ego ravaging myself in my mind going into total and absolute denial and self destruction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have started the journey to life blogs of heavens journey and creations journey only to fall flat and give up on those never reaching very far into them as a daily habit. 

So many things I have started and stopped. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made a jagged and rough and turmoil filled process because I have started and started and started many a thing I realized is vital to me in my process and then traded or discarded or did not finish or see through to completion. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have begun my process very early on in my life of stopping my mind consciousness and yet stopped, so far back that I cannot remember why more than, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have begun my process in the very beginning of my teenage years and then stopped to pursue delusion of spirituality and drugs and sex. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself in this one last lifetime to starting every single aspect of my process but not finishing or seeing to completion any of it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have stopped walking process during a phase when I had lost my father and was forced and thrust into survival in the system having to work and drive and figure out what to do for a career and a future for myself in the world.

starting and stopping and starting and stopping.

I have been stuttering and stumbling through my process very not smooth and very not graceful and making the load very hard and big.

When and as I see myself having dropped an aspect of my process, I stop, I breathe, I realize that in this last lifetime with these last breaths and moments I have that I cannot leave a stone unturnt and forgotten, thus, I commit myself to challenge and question in myself and others whey any aspect of process is being left behind started only to stop.

I commit myself to see through to completion all of my process considering every aspect equally of relevance and importance in totality.

I commit myself to finish what I started as birthing myself as life as the process of me becoming a star in this lifetime as a star of my process which I can then as a star give that same potential I realized to others. 

I commit myself to document my process through writing my blog.

I commit myself to using Techno Tutor.

I commit myself to building the Techno Tutor business.

I commit myself to reading the heavens and creations journey to life blogs.

I commit myself to participating and connecting with other Destonians.

I commit myself to form an agreement with another to share in process together.

I commit myself to write my self forgiveness and correction every day.

I commit myself to breathing actively in each breath never missing a breath.

I commit myself to living words as defining and refining my living and my potential itched out in every cell and breath and moment as the words I am embodying and living and expressing writing and speaking the words out to be shared and communicated how I redefined them and lived them for myself and others. 

I commit myself to finish what I have STARted from the day that I found Bernard.

I commit myself to finish listening through EQAFE.

I commit myself to read the Desteni material.

I commit myself to listen to all of Bernards audios. 

I commit myself to never stop any aspect of my process ever again, as killing and denying a part of who I am leading to immense suffering and horrible abuse.

I commit myself to exercise to support my body to be at it's best even when feeling sick or faced with resistance. 

Day 418- Star part 5

 https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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There is someone who I learnt has the same horoscopes as me. 

I don't historically care much about horoscopes either way. 

In this particular instance I was giving significance to the horoscopes being aligned both with the yearly Chinese cycle and the monthly regularly considered cycle. 

lol ^^^ I am a Sagittarius Pig. I love this little pig with his bow and arrow. 

...

It is not that I cannot turn something that is just a system design or not necessarily real into what's best as giving it meaning and substance that I define and live as what is best with myself.

It is simply that I need to clear out any preexisting relationship to the idea before I can really do anything with it or discover if there is any substance to it or not in fact. 

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that horoscopes of any nature are totally irrelevant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that considering something like a horoscope is totally as a waste of time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge taking even a moment to consider something I have learnt and heard about as horoscopes as being a total waste of time and having nothing worth considering about it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not challenge and question all things where I should look at every construct and idea in the world and take it back to myself to actually establish who I am as that point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to see how in my living I have been a Sagittarius or been a pig in the Chinese horoscope. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that blanket terms bundling in people born in an entire month or in an entire year could possibly be accurate to all the individual points that would make up a person born in a certain month or year. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the way and means by which a person is programmed is entirely based around their environment and their being and has nothing to do with celestial alignment. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a persons celestial alignment when they are born is totally irrelevant and not pertaining to anything signficant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the stars are just random things that i see and could not possibly have significance regarding their alignment when someone is born. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the stars only exist to be a random dot in the sky and to be a light and serve and represent nothing than what I can consciously recognize with my eyeballs. 

When and as I see myself reacting with resistance towards the idea of a horoscope, I stop, I breathe, I realize that a horoscope represents the stars alignment based on when  a person was born into this world, thus, I commit myself to consider that a person being born into this world like a star of themselves is relevant in their position to all of the universe including the stars and planets. 

I commit myself to not judge myself for questioning and looking into the significance of having the same Chinese and monthly horoscope with another person.

Day 417- Star part 4

 https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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X is used to replace any person I am speaking from personally. 

X said to X that X is the guiding star or the northern star to follow their lead.

I agree with that regarding X in terms of their process that they are living and embodying and what they are sharing and showing with others.

So in considering the stars in the sky, X would be the brightest star in the sky showing the way forward and the possibility to everyone else walking process. 

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot accomplish that which X has accomplished in their business.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will never be as significant as X.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that there is only one north star in the sky and that this star may be the most prominent and best as a guiding point of reference but is only another star equal to all others simply with a specific purpose. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have the same purpose as X.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that each star is equal and serves a purpose equally not requiring to be a point of direction like the north star is. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not honor my purpose as a star when I compare myself and limit myself towards judgements about X and their significance for all walking process. 

When and as I see myself diminishing my purpose and importance in comparison to X as me not being the north star as X as been described, I stop, I breathe, I realize that all stars are equal and if there was any more than one north star that would actually create a lot of misdirection and confusion, thus, I commit myself to honor my purpose as a star as equal to X despite me not being a north star as their should only be one north star less it be very confusing for people to navigate the world. 

Day 416- Star part 3

 https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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I was seeing the news about drone's being reported. 

I was looking at the moon outside and saw a star bright illuminated adjacent to the near full moon. 

I wondered if the star was normal, or if it was moving, maybe a plane or a drone like in the news.

Under the light of the moon the star seemed to wobble and I could not tell if it was stationary or not. 

Looking at the sky and the stars seemed different tonight. 

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to distinguish the stars from other moving lights in the sky.

I forgive myself that I have accepted ad allowed myself to fear losing the stars due to so many other obstructions of lights in the sky. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear never seeing the stars again and only knowing them as knowledge and information only seeing artificial lights moving in the sky. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the stars in the sky.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider who I would be if I never saw the stars in the sky.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being without the stars.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that the stars are existing as more than knowledge and information even if I cannot directly see them. 

I commit myself to not be distracted by all the artificial light in the sky and actually look up at night to notice where the real stars are shining through to the earth. 

Day 415- star part 2

 https://eqafe.com/p/you-re-a-star-reptilians-part-466

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I have not birthed myself as a star. 

I am not living as a star. 

The path to living as a star, is like process. 

I gravitated towards the people walking process who were the greatest of stars. 

A part of me see me as having strayed too far from stardom. 

Living as a star is like akin to walking process. 

Process is like becoming a star, birthing yourself as a star.

...

I fractured myself so many times that I do not shine as bright a star as I had the potential to be. 

A star deluded and refracted in mirrors and tunnels and creating illusion. 

I am stuck here where I believe it is too late for me to become a star, that I ruined my chances of being a star. 

...

A star gives. 

I am not living as a star where I am refusing to give because I am holding onto the abstractions of myself in my mind, my beliefs, my opinions, my ego. 

I must give as I am, as whatever star is left possible for me to live before I am a star that could have been but never was. 

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear creating myself not as a star by the end of my star creation journey.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge those who I deem as having fallen at their potential to give their lives to becomes great stars.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking at what is required of me to become a star in this lifetime.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself in punishment to the past where I fell as creating myself as the greatest star possible for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not lead with a firm starting point of who I am as becoming a star and the how and why I must be a star to be a light for others as a living example of the process which we all will walk. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the star that I see myself forming as based on where I am and what I have seen of myself so far as my projection of what my life as a star as living as a star will look like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish that I was a different star.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the star that I will become based on my ideas and judgements of what that star will be when I do not actually know until it is. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself as a star.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prevent myself from being born a star in this lifetime.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold everyone back while I limited myself from being the greatest star possible. 

I commit myself to correct my mistake of suppressing myself as a star in the past, by moving forward now preparing for the next year to begin as it is a year of the star and so my chance to redeem myself as my stardom.

I commit myself to walk my process as totally as possible every single day until I birth myself as life as birth myself akin to a star birthing itself into exsistence. 

Day- 414, star part 1

You're A Star! - Reptilians - Part 466 « EQAFE

...

Based on this recording, next year will be another year of the star.

So, I'm planning to embark on putting a lot of effort into redefining and establishing an effective living of this word going into the new year.

This recording series about the star goes into detail of how to determine a year of the star.

...

I have historically made myself out to be a star. 

But, in reality it stemmed from an insecurity that I never feel like I had or ever would 'start', so believed all I was left with was to fluff my image and identity as being an inherit star by birthright, by being at the right time and place and circumstances. 

In this system the people who we consider stars are just people who were in the right time and place and circumstances. People aren't treated or regarded equally as all being stars.

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be more of a star than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider who is a star like who gets money in this world require one to be less of a star so another can be brought to light and focus and attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not redefine the word star for myself in a way that I can be a star in fact, but lead as an example of the process walked so all can equally bring forward their living as a star.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as a star of self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be willing to cut others down so that I can be elevated as a star in my mind and ego and personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the hierarchy of stars due to basing my view and perception and living off of the system I was born into. 

I commit myself to create myself as a star in my living of the word star in my reality so as from the starting point of showing how I walked the process of becoming a star and giving that to all equally to have the opportunity to become as a star themselves in their lives. 

Day 413 - Limited and defined by health

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trap myself in a cycle of health.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a personality of who I am and what I do based on how healthy I am feeling or not feeling that day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my health and use my health as apoint of total and absolute control where I am not standing and directing myself in each breath by my health holds the ultimate power and ultimate decision of if I move myself or if I refrain and hold back and hide awaiting my health to resolve itself that day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create health as my god.

I forgive myself that  I Have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in separation to my health not living the word health here but creating health in separation as if my body is separate from me and needs external drugs or stimulus for it to move itself as a separate beast than I.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for my health where I am not living the word health in each moment always moving myself as the words I am and live and embody but make health as a word and concept seen in my physical as my god as separate from me where it's movement dictates me where I am not taking responsibility for health as who I am.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for who I am as health as here in each moment as each breath not separate and not a force outside of who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create health problems for myself as I have not been living here in the physical in reality and so not breath by breath seeing the accumulation of what I have been creating in my reality in the physical but onlyseeing my mind movement and my energy movement and saying to myself that is what matters and that is the goal and that is who I am and so losing my will and strength and power as my health of myself as the flesh here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise who I am as health of my flesh and my body for health of my mind allowing my mind and the swirls and spinning and flashing of energy to take importance over me here in the flesh living and breathing and creating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sell my body off to the mind giving away my flesh and resources here in the physical to generate waves of energy to wash away me as substance and create nothing of value in return living in total delusion and total illusion unable to see and operate clearly here as life.

When and as I see myself disempowering myself as not moving myself due to my health, I stop, I breathe, I realize in total certainty I created my health issues and created hell in the flesh due to being deluded and delusional and feeing into my own illusions of process and reality and life to serve only myself to keep myself unable to move stuck in energy stuck in waves of mind impulse while my body was always the real pulse allowing me to learn from consequences, thus, I commit myself to stand equal with my body and suffer here as and equal with my body to stand from the point of health less and to create health from the bottom up in each breath.

I commit myself to direct myself to my ultimate potential despite the pain and suffering I have created for my body as health issues due to living in illusion and delusion unable to live the will needed and required to actually operate fully present and here in the physical flesh my entire life. 

Day 412 - Happy as deception

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drive myself to pursue happiness as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus only on my own happiness as energy not considering the consequences of being satisfied and fulfilled only from a point of energy with no consideration for any other factors included in my happiness. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make enough money for myself to just be happy and happy in my survival and happy I can generate enough money to satisfy my mind alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within my living definition of being happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word happy as being weakness as i have lived and defined it and reacted to it and suppressed it as such.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unhappy with my life when I actually take all points into consideration and see who I am and where I really am in the system in considering all points beyond my fantasy imagination of 'my life'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract from reality with my relationship to happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to reform and suppress and bury who I am and who I have been as happiness to not actually open up the point and rewrite it and see what really is happiness in this world who do I really have to be to live happiness as facing my life and reality in totality and not just taking on fragments that I prefer to face and isolating myself form the whole of the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to vie up on fang my process in all that is is and represent in reality due to how much it conflict with my program of my happiness and my satisfaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not define what it is to live a happy life considering the suffering on earth occurring and who I am as that suffering in denying the suffering and causing further suffering and so creating unhappiness in my living of happiness making a happy life non existent and impossible to actualize.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word happy to deny and obfuscate what is real and here and obvious.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be happy with falling below the standard I realize needed to walk process in it's entirety in this life until my ultimate point of happiness as money is totally and completely challenged. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to give up my life to ensure a happy life is possible and able to be realized by all by changing the substance of trade and transfer as money into an equal money system as a money system all can be happy with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the point of creating a happy system for all meaning how far I must go in my life to totally and completely challenge myself and others in each moment in every day in every activity as happiness cannot be realized and lived from any half measure. 

When and as I see myself unhappy with who I am and what I have in my life, I stop, I breathe, I realize that to live happiness is to give and create happiness for all, and so to be happy and live the word for real means no half measures to give as much as possible in each day to change my life and support others as equals to do the same in every breath in every action and in every word, thus, I commit myself to stop limiting myself to happiness as energy as deception waiting to be happy with my life before I move myself apposed to the real living of happiness as to move myself first without any expectation of return in my interest. 

I commit myself to make a happy system for all which all can agree on by starting with myself as radically giving as I 'd like to receive every single day and in every breath and in every word and in every action to give happiness and push myself as far as possible in doing so to prevent any half measures from ever being possible to give any less than my absolute best. 

Day 411 - Death as an excuse

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine death in my mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use death as a concept to dismiss everything I do in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play with the concept of death as a mind tool to ensure I can stretch everything out to the point of death and then fuck with myself and say well, I am going to die so why would it matter what I do or don't do. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use death as the ultimate excuse.

I forgive myself that  Ihave accepted and allowed myself to not consider the opposite where if I weren't do die and continue to exist after death but was in the same exact situation I am in now then death would be the opposite of an excuse but in fact become the greatest motivator to avoid the shame and suffering to being in the same position I was while alive but totally disempowered without a body to act physically with. 

I forgive myself that  Ihave accepted and allowed myself to be distracted by my mind presenting me ideas of death and dying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to the point of death of which could come at any moment now or surprisingly later than expected as a constant potential here as me where I could simply cease entirely in a moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use death to control myself as using a fact of reality to control me as if it conflicts with everything else as if it represents something beyond me and beyond what I can handle and direct here in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worship the god of death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat death as my god having total control over me in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by the word death as death as I know it is only a word I am giving flesh to because I am not living death as who I am for real only in my mind as knowledge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to know anything about death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not define who I am as death as death in each moment as death when I sleep as death being a part of life in each moment not just something that occur once when the body loses all faculty. 

When and as I see myself imagining my own death and who I would be in each moment defined by who I would be at death, I stop, I breathe, I realize I am abusing life as projecting my mental idea of death onto life without realizing and living who I am as neither life nor death, thus, I commit myself to live my life to be here and real and take all high concept words like death or god and ground them in reality to get out of my fantasy imagination and live as a real being here. 

I commit myself to live to my fullest potential despite the possibility of dyeing at any moment.

I commit myself to do the best I can in this life no matter when I die.

I commit myself to aim to do as much as possible without even putting a limit to when I will die to plan ahead to live to be even 200 years old and still be continuing to move myself and apply myself. 

Day 410 - Isolation

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk suffering as consequences due to isolating and not working and communicating with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not create and stand with huge groups of as many people possible living the same principles and agreement to become what's best for life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on myself as a point of experience as what I experience validating only my own experience and not working with everyone as their expression all united.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get lost due to trying to take everything on alone as my ego believing of myself to have value and worth in my individuality yet not sharing it with others to support them and myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate and stand alone so I can focus just on my own feelings and experience and not live and create together to change things for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be selfish in isolating and causing suffering for myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand in the potential I see as working together with others forever to commit for the rest of my life to never isolate and always share and always walk alone but together. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the very things I am trying to hide away from others seeing worse due to needing to share things and for them to be seen so I can cross reference and sort things out with more power as with more people. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret seeing how much more I could have done if I had not isolated so much in my life but had recognized the need to stand together as much as possible sooner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate because I did not actually want a solution to the abuse on earth for all but only wanted a solution for myself for my own self interest therefore guanteeing that I could never succeed alone because to have succeeded alone for me would have been coming at the cost of all of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate and not walk together and share in groups due to my own self interest. 

When and as I see myself not moving due to isolation, I stop, I breathe, I realize that isolation will always lead to stagnation and not actually moving because it is inherently selfish when there are so many people and so many instances of support for myself and others when i actually show up and show myself and participate as an equal, thus, I commit myself to always stand with a group to share and talk and communicate myself as much as possible to not remain isolated and stuck due to the refusal to see myself and treat myself and others as equals as the obvious outflow would then be to share and speak and cross reference with others as often as possible.

Day 409 - Directing myself as equal to time.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create time as a point of which I use to abuse myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself by believing I am wasting my time on earth. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for wasting the real time breath by breath which I have to change myself and share that impact outside of myself as equal to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare how I have spent my time with how others have spent their time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to race through time instead of walking surely and slowly in each breath. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use time to create separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use time as a tool.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for wasting time and spending moments that I cannot get back in ways of which I regret and saw only my self interest in those moments of time causing me to not move in time and be stuck in time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the statement that I am running out of time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to conquer time and so abuse my breath by breath real time living in the process. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself when I say I am going to do something for the last time and then continue doing it despite committing myself to stop the action of abusing or wasting my time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by the time I have or do not have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself as time as only having a set amount of time to have the maximum amount of usage of my time and then upon death having completely run out of time with no clear degree or definition of if any impact I can have on earth after death. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my time is running out very soon.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress and not share so others can see that their time is also about to be up very soon. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use time to compete with others to have more experience and more value from my time to elevate my time at the diminishment of others time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste others time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuck myself with time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind take over and become more and more abusive as I allow separation in my mind to run rampant in time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create time frames which mean nothing and give them value and say this is how long I am going to isolate and abuse myself for giving power to time as if time is the one dictating the choice for me as if time is it's own entity. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make time my god. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not become a time god myself as a god of words breath by breath speaking words in real time as a god and master of time and words. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use time to give as I'd like to receive. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to race through time and get to the point where I escape from time at death where then I no longer have the ability to create time as mind time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sit in the classroom when I was in school watching the clock tick becoming anxious and anticipating when I'd be released from the classroom to leave the box and go into another box where I wait and watch as time slips by. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let time control everything in my exsistence. 

When and as I see myself going into separation as time, becoming anxious about the time, waiting for the time, fearing the time, trying to squeeze in and stretch the time, I stop, I breathe, I realize that time does not exist, but that I have created myself in and as time in separation from who I am as timeless, thus, I commit myself to focus my purpose by living to optimize myself to utilize every second of time as a piece of reference of the rotations of the earth going around the sun and the small fragments used to represent seconds which can be counted multiple in each breath. 

I commit myself to stop abusing myself with time by fearing it and going into separation from it.

I commit myself to direct time as equal as who I am as a tool of measurement to measure who I was in each moment of each breath while the sun was rotated by the moon and earth as the ultimate measure of time and seasons and motion on earth. 

Day 408- Work as survival

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into anxiety about going to work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create anxiety around generating money for myself to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put extreme pressure on myself to the point of abuse to force myself to behave and fall in line with the system of survival as money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to threaten myself that if I do not keep pushing myself to survive and make money from work that all of my life and exsistence is going to collapse and be far worse the pressures I am placing myself under to succeed. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be direct with my relation to money as survival that I do require generating money to survive in this system so that is where I must consider in directing my actions but that to put the pressures of anxiety and stress and fear upon myself is where the abuse of my body begins.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist work as resisting that I must put effort into making money to be able to eat and have a home and exsist without illness and disease from being homeless. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to conquer work to master my work so that I have mastered life as so I can form balance between work and life outside of generating money from work. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowd myself to let my work define and control me instead of defining who I am and what my purpose and reason is witihn the work I do, who I am within the time and money I gain from the work I do. 

When and as I see myself going into anxiety over having to continously work every week to generate money for survival, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I can redefine who I am within the work I do, and within the time and money I gain from my work, 

Thus, I commit myself to utilize the time and money I make form my work to create a world that is best by wasting no money or no time I gain from my work and devoting the spare money and time I have into the enhancement and enrichment of others to change themselves and the world to support all others to walk their process so that all can come together to change who we are as the money survival work system.