Day 413 - Limited and defined by health

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trap myself in a cycle of health.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a personality of who I am and what I do based on how healthy I am feeling or not feeling that day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my health and use my health as apoint of total and absolute control where I am not standing and directing myself in each breath by my health holds the ultimate power and ultimate decision of if I move myself or if I refrain and hold back and hide awaiting my health to resolve itself that day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create health as my god.

I forgive myself that  I Have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in separation to my health not living the word health here but creating health in separation as if my body is separate from me and needs external drugs or stimulus for it to move itself as a separate beast than I.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for my health where I am not living the word health in each moment always moving myself as the words I am and live and embody but make health as a word and concept seen in my physical as my god as separate from me where it's movement dictates me where I am not taking responsibility for health as who I am.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for who I am as health as here in each moment as each breath not separate and not a force outside of who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create health problems for myself as I have not been living here in the physical in reality and so not breath by breath seeing the accumulation of what I have been creating in my reality in the physical but onlyseeing my mind movement and my energy movement and saying to myself that is what matters and that is the goal and that is who I am and so losing my will and strength and power as my health of myself as the flesh here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise who I am as health of my flesh and my body for health of my mind allowing my mind and the swirls and spinning and flashing of energy to take importance over me here in the flesh living and breathing and creating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sell my body off to the mind giving away my flesh and resources here in the physical to generate waves of energy to wash away me as substance and create nothing of value in return living in total delusion and total illusion unable to see and operate clearly here as life.

When and as I see myself disempowering myself as not moving myself due to my health, I stop, I breathe, I realize in total certainty I created my health issues and created hell in the flesh due to being deluded and delusional and feeing into my own illusions of process and reality and life to serve only myself to keep myself unable to move stuck in energy stuck in waves of mind impulse while my body was always the real pulse allowing me to learn from consequences, thus, I commit myself to stand equal with my body and suffer here as and equal with my body to stand from the point of health less and to create health from the bottom up in each breath.

I commit myself to direct myself to my ultimate potential despite the pain and suffering I have created for my body as health issues due to living in illusion and delusion unable to live the will needed and required to actually operate fully present and here in the physical flesh my entire life. 

Day 412 - Happy as deception

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drive myself to pursue happiness as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus only on my own happiness as energy not considering the consequences of being satisfied and fulfilled only from a point of energy with no consideration for any other factors included in my happiness. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make enough money for myself to just be happy and happy in my survival and happy I can generate enough money to satisfy my mind alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within my living definition of being happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word happy as being weakness as i have lived and defined it and reacted to it and suppressed it as such.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unhappy with my life when I actually take all points into consideration and see who I am and where I really am in the system in considering all points beyond my fantasy imagination of 'my life'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract from reality with my relationship to happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to reform and suppress and bury who I am and who I have been as happiness to not actually open up the point and rewrite it and see what really is happiness in this world who do I really have to be to live happiness as facing my life and reality in totality and not just taking on fragments that I prefer to face and isolating myself form the whole of the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to vie up on fang my process in all that is is and represent in reality due to how much it conflict with my program of my happiness and my satisfaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not define what it is to live a happy life considering the suffering on earth occurring and who I am as that suffering in denying the suffering and causing further suffering and so creating unhappiness in my living of happiness making a happy life non existent and impossible to actualize.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word happy to deny and obfuscate what is real and here and obvious.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be happy with falling below the standard I realize needed to walk process in it's entirety in this life until my ultimate point of happiness as money is totally and completely challenged. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to give up my life to ensure a happy life is possible and able to be realized by all by changing the substance of trade and transfer as money into an equal money system as a money system all can be happy with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the point of creating a happy system for all meaning how far I must go in my life to totally and completely challenge myself and others in each moment in every day in every activity as happiness cannot be realized and lived from any half measure. 

When and as I see myself unhappy with who I am and what I have in my life, I stop, I breathe, I realize that to live happiness is to give and create happiness for all, and so to be happy and live the word for real means no half measures to give as much as possible in each day to change my life and support others as equals to do the same in every breath in every action and in every word, thus, I commit myself to stop limiting myself to happiness as energy as deception waiting to be happy with my life before I move myself apposed to the real living of happiness as to move myself first without any expectation of return in my interest. 

I commit myself to make a happy system for all which all can agree on by starting with myself as radically giving as I 'd like to receive every single day and in every breath and in every word and in every action to give happiness and push myself as far as possible in doing so to prevent any half measures from ever being possible to give any less than my absolute best. 

Day 411 - Death as an excuse

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine death in my mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use death as a concept to dismiss everything I do in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play with the concept of death as a mind tool to ensure I can stretch everything out to the point of death and then fuck with myself and say well, I am going to die so why would it matter what I do or don't do. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use death as the ultimate excuse.

I forgive myself that  Ihave accepted and allowed myself to not consider the opposite where if I weren't do die and continue to exist after death but was in the same exact situation I am in now then death would be the opposite of an excuse but in fact become the greatest motivator to avoid the shame and suffering to being in the same position I was while alive but totally disempowered without a body to act physically with. 

I forgive myself that  Ihave accepted and allowed myself to be distracted by my mind presenting me ideas of death and dying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to the point of death of which could come at any moment now or surprisingly later than expected as a constant potential here as me where I could simply cease entirely in a moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use death to control myself as using a fact of reality to control me as if it conflicts with everything else as if it represents something beyond me and beyond what I can handle and direct here in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worship the god of death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat death as my god having total control over me in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by the word death as death as I know it is only a word I am giving flesh to because I am not living death as who I am for real only in my mind as knowledge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to know anything about death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not define who I am as death as death in each moment as death when I sleep as death being a part of life in each moment not just something that occur once when the body loses all faculty. 

When and as I see myself imagining my own death and who I would be in each moment defined by who I would be at death, I stop, I breathe, I realize I am abusing life as projecting my mental idea of death onto life without realizing and living who I am as neither life nor death, thus, I commit myself to live my life to be here and real and take all high concept words like death or god and ground them in reality to get out of my fantasy imagination and live as a real being here. 

I commit myself to live to my fullest potential despite the possibility of dyeing at any moment.

I commit myself to do the best I can in this life no matter when I die.

I commit myself to aim to do as much as possible without even putting a limit to when I will die to plan ahead to live to be even 200 years old and still be continuing to move myself and apply myself. 

Day 410 - Isolation

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk suffering as consequences due to isolating and not working and communicating with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not create and stand with huge groups of as many people possible living the same principles and agreement to become what's best for life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on myself as a point of experience as what I experience validating only my own experience and not working with everyone as their expression all united.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get lost due to trying to take everything on alone as my ego believing of myself to have value and worth in my individuality yet not sharing it with others to support them and myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate and stand alone so I can focus just on my own feelings and experience and not live and create together to change things for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be selfish in isolating and causing suffering for myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand in the potential I see as working together with others forever to commit for the rest of my life to never isolate and always share and always walk alone but together. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the very things I am trying to hide away from others seeing worse due to needing to share things and for them to be seen so I can cross reference and sort things out with more power as with more people. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret seeing how much more I could have done if I had not isolated so much in my life but had recognized the need to stand together as much as possible sooner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate because I did not actually want a solution to the abuse on earth for all but only wanted a solution for myself for my own self interest therefore guanteeing that I could never succeed alone because to have succeeded alone for me would have been coming at the cost of all of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate and not walk together and share in groups due to my own self interest. 

When and as I see myself not moving due to isolation, I stop, I breathe, I realize that isolation will always lead to stagnation and not actually moving because it is inherently selfish when there are so many people and so many instances of support for myself and others when i actually show up and show myself and participate as an equal, thus, I commit myself to always stand with a group to share and talk and communicate myself as much as possible to not remain isolated and stuck due to the refusal to see myself and treat myself and others as equals as the obvious outflow would then be to share and speak and cross reference with others as often as possible.

Day 409 - Directing myself as equal to time.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create time as a point of which I use to abuse myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself by believing I am wasting my time on earth. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for wasting the real time breath by breath which I have to change myself and share that impact outside of myself as equal to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare how I have spent my time with how others have spent their time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to race through time instead of walking surely and slowly in each breath. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use time to create separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use time as a tool.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for wasting time and spending moments that I cannot get back in ways of which I regret and saw only my self interest in those moments of time causing me to not move in time and be stuck in time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the statement that I am running out of time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to conquer time and so abuse my breath by breath real time living in the process. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself when I say I am going to do something for the last time and then continue doing it despite committing myself to stop the action of abusing or wasting my time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by the time I have or do not have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself as time as only having a set amount of time to have the maximum amount of usage of my time and then upon death having completely run out of time with no clear degree or definition of if any impact I can have on earth after death. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my time is running out very soon.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress and not share so others can see that their time is also about to be up very soon. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use time to compete with others to have more experience and more value from my time to elevate my time at the diminishment of others time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste others time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuck myself with time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind take over and become more and more abusive as I allow separation in my mind to run rampant in time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create time frames which mean nothing and give them value and say this is how long I am going to isolate and abuse myself for giving power to time as if time is the one dictating the choice for me as if time is it's own entity. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make time my god. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not become a time god myself as a god of words breath by breath speaking words in real time as a god and master of time and words. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use time to give as I'd like to receive. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to race through time and get to the point where I escape from time at death where then I no longer have the ability to create time as mind time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sit in the classroom when I was in school watching the clock tick becoming anxious and anticipating when I'd be released from the classroom to leave the box and go into another box where I wait and watch as time slips by. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let time control everything in my exsistence. 

When and as I see myself going into separation as time, becoming anxious about the time, waiting for the time, fearing the time, trying to squeeze in and stretch the time, I stop, I breathe, I realize that time does not exist, but that I have created myself in and as time in separation from who I am as timeless, thus, I commit myself to focus my purpose by living to optimize myself to utilize every second of time as a piece of reference of the rotations of the earth going around the sun and the small fragments used to represent seconds which can be counted multiple in each breath. 

I commit myself to stop abusing myself with time by fearing it and going into separation from it.

I commit myself to direct time as equal as who I am as a tool of measurement to measure who I was in each moment of each breath while the sun was rotated by the moon and earth as the ultimate measure of time and seasons and motion on earth. 

Day 408- Work as survival

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into anxiety about going to work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create anxiety around generating money for myself to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put extreme pressure on myself to the point of abuse to force myself to behave and fall in line with the system of survival as money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to threaten myself that if I do not keep pushing myself to survive and make money from work that all of my life and exsistence is going to collapse and be far worse the pressures I am placing myself under to succeed. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be direct with my relation to money as survival that I do require generating money to survive in this system so that is where I must consider in directing my actions but that to put the pressures of anxiety and stress and fear upon myself is where the abuse of my body begins.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist work as resisting that I must put effort into making money to be able to eat and have a home and exsist without illness and disease from being homeless. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to conquer work to master my work so that I have mastered life as so I can form balance between work and life outside of generating money from work. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowd myself to let my work define and control me instead of defining who I am and what my purpose and reason is witihn the work I do, who I am within the time and money I gain from the work I do. 

When and as I see myself going into anxiety over having to continously work every week to generate money for survival, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I can redefine who I am within the work I do, and within the time and money I gain from my work, 

Thus, I commit myself to utilize the time and money I make form my work to create a world that is best by wasting no money or no time I gain from my work and devoting the spare money and time I have into the enhancement and enrichment of others to change themselves and the world to support all others to walk their process so that all can come together to change who we are as the money survival work system.