Day 286- word, waiting

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I don't like waiting, I always feel like I'm waiting for something.

Waiting to get somewhere be done somewhere, always waiting for something to happen inside of myself.

I forgvie myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for things to happen inside of myself where waiting should be for things I can't control.

I forgvie myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for something to stir inside of myself where I should be directing my self movement be being controlled by my sepertation from self movement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that waiting for real things to happen make sense because I can't control the time of day and need to be at certain places at certain times for living the word wait where if I have to meet someone somewhere I wait by that place not somewhere that I can't greet them when they're ready.

I forgvie myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the longer I wait the longer something bad is likely to happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not enjoy waiting where I define waiting as a lesser expression of myself as though I deserve immidetely being gratified all the time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define waiting as an insult to me as if I deserve to never wait for anything ever.

I forgvie myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate what a good word waiting can be to live and practice where waiting is dicipline and assertiveness and patience.

I forgvie myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define waiting through my reaction of feeling restricted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear bringing out my full potential to live the word waiting where what if I wait forever and it becomes all I do that I enjoy waiting so much.

I forgvie myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear if I enjoy the expreicne of waiting too much that I'll never take action and will only ever enjoy waiting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live the word waiting to it's best purest potential.

When and as I see myself reacting to having to wait with anxiety like let's get done with this, I stop, I breathe, I realize they from there it'll be snktbrt thing to anxiously waiting for and the only way to stop it is to purify the word and change how I live it, thus, I commit myself to live the word waiting unconditionally where waiting isn't good or bad but just a word that reflects my dicipline and preservernce and patience back to myself where the better someone can wait the more diciplined they are.

I redefine waiting as waiting for real things in practicality, where I'm not waiting for myself to feel better, I'm waiting for the time usually, and waiting in a way that makes sense like if I have a few extra minutes because I'm waiting for an appointment then maybe I wait in the lobby because they might call me in early.