Day 44 - Sleep - Self Forgiveness Platter

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be tired.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to 'be' tired, when I am feeling tired.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel dazed and incompetent when and as I am tired, as when I am being tired, as allowing myself to exist within the mental expression of tiredness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into this feeling of not being able to do anymore within myself and my life when and as I'm tired, where within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to demand that I go to sleep when I'm tired, as seeing that I have nothing left to live for, except for shutting down, as giving into this dazed and confused mental expression I experience sometimes when I'm tired.  

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into the expression of feeling tired so that I can feel relief within sleep. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like I have no energy when I'm tired and need to go into a state of suspension as sleep while my body recharges itself outside of itself. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize, that I am allowing my body to recharge separate from itself, and within this I have realized that I am really just recharging my mind, as shutting down my mind does not occur when I sleep as I dream, so sleep is just another state of mind. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sleep so I can separate myself further from my body, because my body is not existing within an enjoyable state of expression from my perspective as the mind. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my mind as existing within an within an unfavorable state and requiring sleep, when really this is just an idea I have projected onto myself as me viewing my body from my mind as energy perception. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deify sleep, as believing a good nights sleep will guarantee me success and pleasure and fulfillment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pray every night, as hoping that this time, I will wake up feeling good, and have a great day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be sad that I have never accomplished this goal, instead of realizing that I am far past the time to re-consider my relationship to sleep, and face consequence consistently where I pray to get some good sleep tonight, but wake up feeling very bad, and being very upset that I did not succeed within the act of getting good sleep. 

I have noticed how when I am laying down to sleep and am intending to sleep, I cannot speak, as I try to speak the other nght as giving myself something to do right before going to sleep. I saw how I could not do self forgiveness, as I could not speak for and as myself right before I was about to go to sleep, there was satisfaction of holding onto that exprsesion of shurtting down everything, and I hoped that I could get my sleep, and do self forgiveness as another time.

I forigve myself for accepting and allowing myself to not force myself to speak self forgiveness as I'm going to sleep, because I would rather feel good as shutting down my voice as I drift into sleep, than I would to challenege and question my reality down to the last breathe I take.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like a magnet is pulling my eyes shut, and I am being forced into slumber outside of my control.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear I will not get the adequette sleep I desire If I were to do self forgiveness as I am falling asleep.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my life revolve around sleep.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to go into the alternate reality of dreams.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I cannot win as achieving my goals in relationship to sleep.

I commit myself to not give up on facing my relationship to sleep, and how it affects me, I commit myself to not give up on my voice when and as I see myself becoming to tired to speak, I stop, breathe, and direct myself to maintain my voice, as the ability to do self forgiveness at all times.