Day- 12- Letting my Mind Write for Me.

I think about what I am going to write, and nothing comes up. I’m just sitting waiting for some kind of inspiration; it’s not that I did not experience a plethora of things to write about doing my day. It’s not that I don’t know how to expand and elaborate on a specific point. It’s that I’m waiting for the drive.

I’m waiting for my jump start. I’m waiting for my engine to start kicking. I’m waiting for my running start.

In this moment of quietly waiting for something to happen, I see that I’m waiting for something in my mind to happen.

I’m waiting for some form of energy of a point that excites me, of inspiration, of information, of direction.

I’m not asking myself, what is best for me to write about today, what can be the most supportive for me in my walking of my day to day life, what interests me, what would I enjoy writing about?

I don’t ask myself the question, I ask my mind to step in for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my mind make the decision of what to write within my self forgiveness writings.

‘Write about that’, ‘and now this’, ‘don’t forget this point’, ‘ohh that about covers it, now let’s finish’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my mind be that which command me here within my writing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my mind decide when I have efficiently wrote out a point, and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that placing my trust in my self forgiveness within my mind will not allow me to efficiently write out anything for myself, because my mind will always want to stray, to give up, to be disorganized, and to lie.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust myself here as life to be able to recognize and understand the most efficient means of writing self forgiveness without being nudged all over the place by my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait for a point of writing to come up in my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that starting off a segment of ‘I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself”, with zero idea of where I am about to take this self forgiveness segment, would be better then letting my mind run amuck within my writing throwing me off course.

My mind gives me inspiration of what to write and how to write it, and then gives me some more inspiration, and some more, and then gives me some thoughts, and an emotion, and a feeling, and a memory, some about one thing, some about another thing, and I’m just trying to keep up with my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to write self forgiveness at my minds pace, instead of at the pace of my heart, at the pace of my breathe, at the pace of my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my self forgiveness no real value to myself as writing it in correspondence with my mind pushing me where to go.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will not be able to remain coherent and efficient without writing out every little thing that comes to mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I’m not writing from the position of writing for my mind, I’m writing to stop my mind from abusing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let the abuser as my mind tell me how I should address writing it out.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let the criminal I have created as my mind tell me what the best sentence is.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not let myself trust me here as life to discover and learn how to write self forgiveness and self commitment statements within self honesty as I discover here as life what is best for all within my writing.

I commit myself to slow down when I write.

I commit myself to hear my mind when I write, only so I may stop it, and allow myself to focus on what is here as I write.

I commit myself to investigate the feelings that come up as I write, not as allowing them to direct what I write, but as investigating for myself my relationship to any given point I have written.

I commit myself to write what is best for life, not what is best for my mind as an abuser,

I commit myself to realize that abusers are very predictable, but me here as life, is free, and able to make real decisions and find practical solutions without judgment. 

I commit myself to stop breathe and correct when and as I see my mind telling me what I need to write about within my self forgiveness, and I commit myself to make the decision for myself as best for life.