Day 34- Perfection

Have I ever 'been' perfect? Have I ever had a day where I was 'perfect'? Have I ever had even a moment where I was 'perfect'?

I might have had moments where I saw everything occurring within and without me just the way I'd like it to, but when has perfection ever been something I can actually achieve?

I have expressed perfection within me as something that I can work towards, but I have never actually reached perfection.

How does existing within the desire to be perfect prevent me from living life?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect perfection, without actually seeing and understanding what it is required of me to act out or exist within perfection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire perfection within myself as an idea of the way I'd like myself to be, and within this not allowing myself to face what I'm really existing as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always believe that perfection will come in time, as if it will come to me, as noticing I have waited for it's arrival.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize I can exist perfectly within a moment as being here completely within my breathe, and within the current task at hand in my actions, as directing myself to the fullest extent I can.

Perfection should be defined as my best, as the best I possibly can achieve in any given moment based on what is available to me.

Instead perfection exist within me, as an idea, as a alternate reality that I work towards, but can never actually achieve.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define perfection as something impossible to achieve, and yet still expect that I will one day reach it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the point of neglect, where I neglect facing what I can do in a moment, and what I can realize for myself is the best I can do as perfection, and allow myself to always be unable to attain perfection within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect what is here, and what is within my reach as 'perfection' as doing my best in any given situation.

When I look for perfection to occur within me, I could instead direct myself to realize what my best is for myself, and work towards it, as realizing perfection, and directing myself to actually achieve it.

Perfection can be a way to cross reference within myself where I can do better for myself.

Perfection as an impossible goal or desire, prevents me from understanding what I am doing when I work towards it, as I expect the path to be unveiled for me, instead of realizing it for myself, as working towards something I know and understand how to achieve.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place burden on me within my life, where I try to achieve what I do not understand or am able to practically achieve.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become frustrated when I cannot reach perfection within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become angry when I can not reach perfection within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become disorientated when I cannot achieve perfection within myself, and within this I realize that I define who I as working towards perfection in such a way that when I perceive perfection as out of reach, I do not understand what to be doing with myself in that moment, and react with an upset feeling in my stomach.

When and as I react to not being able to achieve perfection within myself with 'giving up' on my trying my best, I stop obsessing over my idea of perfection, I breathe as stabilizing myself, and I direct myself in that moment as realizing that I am here, and I am competent and capable of working within the system I exist within and as, and do not need to achieve perfection in each moment, as I realize perfection as a guideline, and not something that is required of me in every second.

I commit myself to re-define perfection as a word, as how I live that word, into perfection as my best, in each moment as I realize it for myself in self honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not reaching perfection.

When I cannot 'reach' perfection, I commit myself to either change what I have defined as perfection within that moment, or allow myself to let go of perfection for that moment, so I can re-stabilize myself within the current moment, as understanding that perfection is only required within the mind, and is only a use to me as a guideline, and a reference point, not as something that possess me to exist in a way that is volatile or absurd given the actual situation I am facing, when I face it from a point of expecting perfection, instead of doing my best.