Day 41- Catching Fish as Mind Movement

In my life I remember always being moved.

It's funny to think that I have lived up until this point without ever moving myself. My writing now and with the past within self forgiveness is the only time I have ever moved myself.

The only time I made a definitive decision for and as myself in how I would live, how I would forgive, how I would change myself, how I would create.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my mind influence how I move within the decisions I make, and the direction I go in life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my body to be a bag of meat thrown in whatever direction my mind fortells.

Parents

Friends

School

Media

My mind

Where have I ever tooken a stand for myself?

And where had this left me. Where now the Consequence's are not hidden in any way, I can see what has happened to me, as how I have embraced my mind moving me, as who I am, and attempted to direct myself in this way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel ashamed that I have given my life to my mind of which I gain nothing, but the oppritunity to surrender.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize every time my mind moves me, I lose my ability to move myself in my world, as being able to decide who I am and what I do in each moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my self to let my mind move me under the guise that this personality is who I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide as a personality because I fear taking a stand as an individual, as a living being of flesh.

I don't imagine many people expiernece their mind as I do, but that may have to do with what time I have now and in my past utilized self forgiveness, as a means of taking a stand in my life, and where I am now and have been for several years, I'm a twisting nether of strings, of movement, that I can see and expiernece in my 'mind's eye', as well as in my body. Where every defenece I create against my mind from within it falls. I feel like a torrent of endless spiraling shaking energy.

I am not in a pleasant state of being.

I moved myself to this place as I have written many years ago of self forgiveness.

I thought I had progressed to some level of control and stability in my life within all this energetic movement and expiernece.

But it was only until I had tried to move myself as life the 10,000th time, only to end up lost again in the sea of my mind as energy, that I found Self forgiveness again, and I found how I had wound up here, through all of my expiernece, and all of my participation.

My participation has always been to stand down and be moved.

Now, I commit myself to rise, and move myself within my very word, as the living word, as I decide to move myself within my wiritng, and I decided where I will make my stand against myself as the world within and without.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be moved by anger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be moved by feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be moved by fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be moved by manipulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be moved by lathargy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be moved by being tired.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be moved by giving up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be moved by pain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be moved by discomfort.

Now that I have layed out the line, I go about my day, as waiting, waiting for a fish to catch, to find something that moves me, something I may not even have considered within all the dimensions and string being pulled within my reality, and the fight between me and the fish will be me writing out the point.

Because Desteni within all of their cruelty never gave me a single fish, they only gave me the whole ocean as myself, as they taught me how to fish, to fish for all that moves in my mind, the whole ocean of my entire reality, as my world one and equal, coming from my fingers to write, and from the top of my tounge to speak, I commit myself to be patient as every good fisherman should be.