Friday, January 27, 2017

Day 314- relaxation


investigate desteni.org

I'll take things that happen through out my day and write them out and my relationship to the people or things and what I then will do moving forward.

That's very specific good way to look at problems or things, but is not generally the most approriate outside of a more private seeting to write about other people.

So if I have something chewing at me based on a relationship to a certain person or expierence towards a certain place or person sometimes it's better to take that into a private setting where it can really be opened up and not have to drag someone else into things.

Something that is fun for me when I'm not having very much specefic things trhought my day in terms of other's or even through my memories of the day or my experiences through the day is lately trying to be creative with self forgiveness and see what I can do with it.

Something I'd like to keep working towards that I think would be supportive is trying to learn to relax.

Where yeah, dealing with the points that make me stressed out and anxious will support me to be more relaxed, but also I see how I can live the word relaxed and express relaxation physically in each breathe... Because relaxing is already very easy to see how it can relate to each breathe.

Relaxing can in each breathe just be creating a relationship within my own physical body of being relaxed.

Letting go, lounging, floating down the river, just being at ease breathing being here it's good.

So, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear relaxing making me vulnrable where, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being vulrnable that I can't relax where even if there were threats like wild animal running around it wouldn't really help to be on edge because I'd blow all my energy being tense and then my guard would go down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not relax beacuse I feel on guard all the time, where, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question what is it that I'm on guard what part of who I define myself by do I feel is vulrnable to to other's.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not relax to defend how people see me where I need to be alert and standning within myself to always leave a good impression of someone who is here and alert and something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how I wouldn't like to leave the impression of me being someone who can't relax because they're so concerned about what impression they leave.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so concered about leaving a good impression that I don't allow myself to just relax and leave a good impression based on me realxing being here being myself the best impression that I could possibly leave.

When and as I see myself experincing myself as alert and on guard to defend who I see myself as and the impression I leave, I stop, I breathe, I realize that this isn't the impression i'd actually like to leave because I don't like leaving this impression I don't like living this expression, thus, I commit myself to leave with myself and with other's the impression I'd like to as expressing myself as relaxed where I can come through physically however I'd like to in any moment because being realxed allows me to tap into all other expressions because relaxed let's me be physical where my expression comes through from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not relax within each breathe as though it's not important.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not explore how deeply I can relax.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how relaxing can help me with everything in my entire life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not utilze relaxing when it didn't even take me a few minutes to see within me that relaxing could support me in every part of my entire life in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take the oppritunity to relax in each breathe where the faster my mind goes the more fucked up things get and realxing diffentely slows things down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make sure I'm relaxing in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find an excuse to skip over even a single breathe of making sure I delebertely check that I'm relaxing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed by trying to realx so much when being overwhelmed is the opposite of relaxing so it's completely irrelevant to the relaxing equation.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to bump my life into gear by becoming relaxed all the time constantly being in an expressing myself as lounging and in leisure.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider how I have seeen myself relax at work, where this proves relaxing applies to everything where I can be living the words strain, stress, dicipline, foucs, work, labor and still mantain at the certer of it all the word relaxation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I've been programming myself the wrong way I should have learnt to express relaxation and isntead it was not even an important part of my living equation at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define skipping over completely the expression of relaxation as 'who I am'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am as having nothing to do with relaxation.

When and as I see myself defining myself as not being someone who relaxes, I stop, I breathe, I realize that relaxation would help me and support me in every single part of my entire life, meaning I did not program myself correctly to live relaxation and then learnt as if that was just who i was, thus, I commit myself to in every single breathe make sure that I'm living the word relaxation as much as I possibly can as physically relaxing my body as much as possible no matter what stance or situation I'm in.

I redefine relaxed as something that I should be living in each breathe as much as possible no matter what as realizing
how it's got the potential to support me in every single moment of my whole life.

I commit myself to continue to pay attention to my relationship and living of the word relaxed in each breathe where I need to make sure that I'm mantainig my relaxation and that I can curve it to not be as much energetic as just me physically letting go and relaxing as much as possible.

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