Day 167- Investigate Desteni.org

I'm very emotional.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not handle my emotions in a responsible way.

I never learned self responsibility.

So my emotions have always been internalized and it hurts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bury everything deep inside.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in remorse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wonder why am I me?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear buckling down for the ride and making my life work.

I want to sleep.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my feelings towards other's.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have feelings toward others when I'm not completely standing here within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become nauseated from being so emotionally encumbered.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put on a false voice to hide my experience of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become paralyzed with fear in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not correct myself when I make a mistake, and instead go into loathing and regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build myself up as ego to hide how lost I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others to alleviate that instead of being someone else, I'm myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be alleviated from being me, and i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and compare others instead of becoming equal to others, becoming that which I see and acknowledge in other's as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complicate every breathe I take with endless intricacies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be as strong as I know I could be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word great, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not define and live the word great in a way that will stand for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so narcissistic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by intelligence which serves to destroy me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being bad for believing I'm more intelligent than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being persecuted by the people I belittle within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not mold and create myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give a shit about anything, which isn't a good idea.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view my feelings as premonitions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate my feelings through giving them meaning as premonitions instead of just making whatever I can of my life, regardless of how I feel.

I forgive

I forgive

I forgive me, I forgive myself, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge anything I've ever done as bad, as I can see and remember that I've never wanted to live as a bad person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the action of smoking cigarettes as bad.

What is my commitment statements for all of that?

It doesn't seem very comprehensive or something I can commit myself too, but I know I can do it.

When and as I see myself not being here as myself, I stop, I breathe, I realize all the little things that make up what I have presented to be myself aren't real, thusly I commit myself to pursue the truth of myself here whatever that may be.

Will that commitment statement be relevant to the self forgiveness I've made?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be relevant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear things in my life won't come together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge what I have to give to myself through a critical analytical lens.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to say this is what I'm doing and I'm going to make it work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to require the agreement of others to justify who i am and what I'm doing with my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself because what moves within me makes no sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself because I don't understand what's happening inside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by what moves within me when I trust what moves me over me moving myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself because I have a fat belly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself because I've separated myself very far from being myself within my own body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose to judge and move away from my body, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself as equal to what my body is going through, as what I'm going through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself because I'm confused by all that occurs within me throuh my mind's programming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to forgive and change my programming as equal to how I've create it.

Do I trust my commitment statement yet? I can't even remember what I was concerned about because I'm busy trusting myself.

Not trusting my intentions, but my living application my body my word.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself because of my thoughts, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my thoughts to betray me, as I realize I can only betray life through living my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to live my life and not my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live my emotions and not my body.

When and as I see myself not trusting myself within my actions, I stop, I breathe, I realize me trusting myself is what in going to do so there's nothing to stop me except giving up on life, thusly, I commit myself to trust myself within my living and application to show myself and live standing for life.