Day 184

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be totally here and direct in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being limited to not have my mind constantly moving and distracting me when I'm here in awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as limited because I can't see the hardware and how it's operating within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as needing to see and understand what's moving within me to simply be able to recognize it as a misalignment and making a direct change in my living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel emotionally lost when placing myself here focused and aware in each breathe without being distracted by everything moving within me because I feel lonely without the company of everything moving within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I'm compromising everything within my living just to have a feeling of reward as companionship within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize in placing myself here focused directive and aware in each breathe I am here, I am my own companion, just not through some sentimental feeling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not focus and place myself within awareness in each breathe because I prefer the sentimental emotional friendship of letting my mind go off the rails.

When and as I see myself not wanting to be here focused and aware not participating within the parts of my mind which separate me form being here and fucntioning as what's best for life, I stop, I breathe, I realize that the emotional fear of being present is just a personality defect, thusly, I commit myself to overcome my personality defect by forcing myself to be here focused aware and not participating within the parts of my mind which I currently realize I can stop participation with to be more aware of myself and directive in my living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed that I have a fat belly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to not stand as one and equal to my belly as I realize how separating myself from my belly is creating a lot of conflict and consequences for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself because I always perceived myself as better then ever becoming fat and complacent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disgusted when I look at my stomach.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept my body as who I am and move forward and work accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like it's unfair that I've grown a little fat because I've always had such a good metabolism.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my metabolism for having failed me as I've grown older.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not cooperate with my body as it is because I've defined myself by something I'm not and refuse to let go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the belief that my body was better then succumbing to all the crappy food and laziness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a lesser being then what I'd always imagined myself to be as just being naturally fit and in shape.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself with ideas I created in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be shocked by my misconceptions of what my body is capable of, as I realize I just used the assumption that I would always have a great metabolism to avoid facing the consequences of not eating well and exercising.

When and as I see myself not wanting to face my body as one and equal as who I am, I stop, I breathe, I realize that in looking at my body I can see how warped my ideas of myself and my body has been growing up, thusly, I commit myself to form a new relationship and understanding
with my body that is more self honest and in touch with reality.