Day 134- Pissed Off

I justify getting pissed off, because I always find a way to make myself right, and everyone and everything else wrong.

So if something get's in the way of my comfort and convince I don't even bother trying, I just cave into my emotions and impatience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not try to stop myself when I see myself getting pissed off, because I don't want to make it any worse by fighting with my emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define letting my emotions of being upset and pissed off as better to give in than to not participate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear risking trying to not participate with being pissed off, at the chance that it might escalate and get even worse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into my anger as being pissed off because I fear it becoming even worse through suppression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not give myself the option to be the directive principle of not giving into my emotions, because I fear maintaining that balance within me, and what can happen when that balance is lost.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not challenge myself to have balance in relationship to being the directive principle, because it's easier to fail on purpose than to fail while trying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be ashamed of myself for not being able to be directive in relationship to getting upset and pissed off, so just giving up, and not even trying, so I cannot fail through trail and error, I fail because I don't even bother.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get pissed off because I define myself as not caring, but infact the reason I don't try to be directive is because I do care, and so when I do get pissed off I'm making things worse for myself, because I do care, but don't want to try.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create excuses within my existence as to why being upset is justifiable, and to then just not try at all out of blame.

I commit myself to stop, breathe, when and as I see myself getting pissed off, as I give myself the opportunity to stand for the directive principle of not giving into the emotion of anger and agitation, as I realize the very things I'm pissed off about, are the things I don't want to be directive in relationship to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get pissed off when things don't go my way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get pissed off because I believe things should go the way I perceive myself as deserving even though my perceptions aren't based in reality
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get pissed off so I don't have to face how lazy I allow myself to be, because it's easier to get pissed off and blame some else for my laziness, than to stop being lazy.

I commit myself to stop, breathe, when and as I see myself getting pissed off, as I realize myself as being lazy when I deliberately let myself get pissed off, and I actualize myself as principle as just doing the proactive things that can support me with patience for myself, and thus forgiving and chaning the entire lazy and angry existence I live in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get pissed off with myself for getting pissed off.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for getting angry, because that's insanity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get angry at myself for harboring bad emotions, isnteaed of just being the most productive I can at dispelling and changing myself in relationship to my emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not fulfilling the extraordinary feat it would require of me to stop being angry over night, as I realize this perfectionist ideal of all or nothing, is why I cave into such great polarities, which allows me to justify my actions, because 'I'm not perfect', which is an excuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deliberately participate in anger and frustration, under the prefix of not being perfect, thus allowed to do unperfect deeps.

I commit myself to stop, breathe, when and as I see myself deliberately participating in anger and frustration under the prefix that I'm not perfect, as I realize this is me saying basically, I am making the choice to be angry, because I don't want to change, and thus I realize myself as change in forgiving and reasserting myself in these moments, as redefining myself within self forgiveness of my misaligned character.