Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Day 150- My Five Words; Depth
The second word I'm going to write about is depth, I'm going to explore self forgiveness the same way I did yesterday in using today's word depth, and how I perceive it within myself, which is as I realized with all 5 of my words that it's mostly experienced in my breathing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the depth of the system I have created within myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the depth and detail I may need to go into to investigate the depths within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failing to properly investigate and deal with the depths of which I have created myself and require to change for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the depth and complication of the world around me, as I realize I'm one and equal within the depth and misalignment I've created within myself which is just as confusing and difficult to navigate as the world I perceive around me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear silencing the depths within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being equipped to tame the depths within myself as the systems I've created and live.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the depths of deception.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not acknowledge the depths of my own deception.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not going into proper depth within my process in properly laying down the foundation needed for me point by point.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my personal process as not existing within the substantial depth required to effectively direct myself within my world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not create and live within the depth of self trust.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my method of coming to life through my process not being on par with the depth and substance of others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a depth of superiority and insuperiotity within my process, instead of just holding what works best for me personally as superior, not out of stature, but out of significance for what supports me best.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the depth of my weakness in relationship to how I live though my mind.
Every breathe I take I feel possessed by the depths of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the depths of myself experienced in each breathe possess me, as taking my ability to direct myself from me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking on the full responsibility of self responsibility as directing myself without any loose ends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the depths of my mind and energy direct me in each breathe as possession, because I fear taking full responsibility for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the depth of the situation, as I realize I am one and equal to myself, so of course I'd like to take self responsibility for myself, it's me as consciences that is missing the point that I'm here and I'm alive so it's a simple act of self as life to take on full self responsibility, as realizing what occurs when parts of self are handed over to systems of the mind and energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by energy, as defining my well being as based on the energetic experience of being able to express myself as ego, as doing whatever suits my personal agenda without confronting the actual depths of this situation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as not being competent enough to walk things into reality with the proper depth needed as an excuse to not take full self responsibility for everything I do no matter what, as I realize my mind is showing me that it's ok to stray off path, there's nothing that I won't have to account for, so straying off path within myself and how I direct myself is a means of directing myself to a better path.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad for straying off the best path for myself out of ego and self interest as my personal agenda and goals as energy and mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the depths of which I can stray off path within myself, as I realize it's inevitable to stray off path, and that standing without fear or judgement of myself is how I can return from the depths of myself intact.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear walking myself out of my mind and consciences as time.
A nice patch of depths explored here, now to create a sealant to make sure everything holds together effectively.
When and as I see myself going into fear of the depths existing within myself and what must be done to face those depths, I stop, I breathe, I realize that this fear is not supporting me in my personal process, as I realize what I'm walking is a personal process, and is not defined by what other people are doing, recommending, or living for themselves, it's based on what I realize will support me best as life one and equal to create myself as a better person, without guilt, and without question, I commit myself to not go into possession by fear when faced with the word depth in my reality.
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